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RetroGamer87
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25 Jun 2019, 9:09 am

Extroverts gain energy from being around other people. Introverts gain energy from being alone.

I spend 8 hours per day at work around other people. I got home from work and my girlfriend wouldn't leave me alone. I had a go at her. I said "I spend all day around other people and work and then I get home and then you're there!"

She said "Why do you need a girlfriend if you just want to be alone".

How can I explain to her that I appreciate having her in my life but not 24/7? How I can I explain to her that I need alone time without making it sound like I hate spending time with her or making it sound like I would rather be single?


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kraftiekortie
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25 Jun 2019, 9:12 am

It's something cultural.....people from many cultures other than "Western" cultures feel that "alone time" is too much a "Western" concept. They believe one must be around people at all times; otherwise, one is lonely.

They just cannot fathom that a person would want to spend time alone.



BTDT
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25 Jun 2019, 9:27 am

When I had a partner my compromise was to work out in the yard or fix stuff when I came home. Then I'd have dinner with my partner. And then some time together just before we went to bed to talk about stuff.



blazingstar
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25 Jun 2019, 11:06 am

I need a lot of alone time. I get cranky and moody and pretty much unbearable if I can't have enough alone time. I don't have a good answer for you, but can say as aspies we do need to be alone even in loving relationships.


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nick007
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26 Jun 2019, 9:42 am

These may not be good ideas but here they are :arrow: You could try encouraging her to get a hobby or get involved in something so she'd be occupied doing her own thing some of the time your home or out some of the time your home. You could also try going somewhere quite before you go home from work so you can wind down, maybe a walk in nature or siting on a bench in a fairly quiet park.


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