The man next door

Post Reply New Topic

Hi:
A few times I have written about this neighbor of mine in the social skills and making friends who I believe has to be somewhere on the spectrum himself. He wants a girlfriend but there are a few problems with him.

1. He meets a girl the first time and starts asking them out on dates but he barely knows them but seems to act like they have known him for years
2. He has a bad temper
3. He has not taken "No" for an answer for years and I have repeatedly said I am not interested. Rather, he keeps pursuing me.
4. He made myself and other women uncomfortable
5. he has harassed and stalked me

Anyone have experience with someone like this
s

He does seem lonely and have a problem. He could do with being assessed. It may have never occurred to him it is a problem as to him if someone says no, he probably assumes they are playing hard to get, as I believe some women maybe like that, but he maybe unaware (Like I maybe though I am very sensitive so I will not normally ask ladies out unless I am 100% sure I am reading things right (Which is very rare I will think I am 100% sure so I have only asked a few ladies out in my life)....)... But in essence he does need a little directing to those who can help him. Just someone who can explain things to him in a professional but careing way and can help him. I think only a professional assessor would have the chance to get through to him as they can relate what he does to a condition, and having the condition will make him start to look things up and see himself from another perspective, and hopefully he can then not slip into depression.

It does need careful handling as inside the man maybe quite sensitive... It maybe why he gets angry as he can't cope with rejection and is desperately lonely.

I never thought about the "Playing hard to get" as a part of the "Not taking "No" for an answer." He has asked me in the past, whenever I have gone into my home every time I see him or ignore him, he has asked me, "I was wondering if it was something I did."

On the other hand, he has done some things that make him look like he is stalking me
1. He saw me come home one time and set his laptop up in the breezeway of my unity building and was using my neighbor's driveway
2. He offered me a ride on a few occasions and I just kept walking and he kept on slowly driving, "I like you, get that as a hint, I like you, I like you," in a creepy way and just kept on driving
3. He also was parking his car in front of my building one time while he was walking me neighbor's dog. So I put a note on his car and told him not to park there and that I am not interested and to mind his own p's and q's. He got mad and tore up the letter and threw it on my front doormat.

Jeez, you are indeed a creep magnet.

Btw that’s a typical jerk behavior; people with AS are usually too love shy to even do that.

He's definitely a creep. I've had a hard time taking No for an answer but that's because I was not directly told they weren't interested in me. I'd suggest a specific day or specif activity & they would say No to that day or that activity & I would suggest something another day or another activity thinking it was the specific day or thing I suggested that they had a problem with. I NEED people to be straightforward with me instead of trying to be polite or save face. It sounds like you've been very direct with that guy ST so he should understand your not interested in him. Perhaps he thinks he might could win you over if he keeps trying or maybe he's suffering from the delusional disorder erotomania(I might have that alittle bit). I completely agree with MG that he needs psychological help

It's probably the way I carry myself and it's perhaps because I am seen alone most of the time. Any suggestions? At the moment, I have invented a boyfriend and often pretend on be on the phone with him whenever I walk home, making sure he gets the hint, "I am taken."

What has he done this time to promote you to write about him?

He is parking his car behind my building and purposely walking behind and around my building so he can try and ask me out I suppose.

What a drag. I don't suppose dodging him is doing much good though.
When people are bugging me I usually start to pump them for information like directions etc which changes the whole dynamic....I don't suppose that would work either.
You might have to engage with him a little in order to convey your lack of interest. At the moment he's probably getting a kick out of watching you react to him. You need to stand your ground without being confrontational I guess.

The problem is that I have made it perfectly clear that I am not interested in him many times and he won't take no for an answer. The police have even talked to him and everything and he even told the officer that he understands I am not interested. Yet, he is doing what he wants. Moreover, the president of the association has even written him a letter in giving him a warning and given him a copy.

1. I have both the copy of the letter and the police report
2. I am also going to take a picture of his car when it is parked behind my building and use that as evidence and take down his license plate.

Good luck, it sounds as if you are going about things the right way

I have had it with him continuing to step over my boundaries after he has been told on a number of occasions to stop. Actually, while his behavior is serious, I find his habits to be annoying.