Has anyone else been dropped like a hot potato for no reason

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I had a boyfriend for five months. He was my first boyfriend and my first love. He was sweetie, and kind, and affectionate, super intelligent and accepted me for me. He loved it when I info dumped and went on tangents. He loved having discussions with me. We would buy each other gifts....he spent over $300 on me during February because it was Valentine's and my birthday.

Then somehow his car broke down for a month. Then he stopped trying to see me. Said that he was visiting another country. We still texted and said I love you and called each other sweetie. He said I should find something better if I could. I asked him if he wanted to be with me, he said, "if things work out in the future, I don't see why not." And that we could still be friends. But my friends told me we were still together...I was confused.

Then he apparently updates his Tinder bio and goes to this other country. He says that text doesn't work in that country so he can't text me. I message him on Instagram once in a while. A few times I try to tell how confused I am about the relationship. I am emotional but I never try to sound accusatory, I keep being polite. But he never gives a an answer, he just vaguely responds to my questions.

I try to keep up small talk once a month or so. He still replies but doesn't seem invested. Eventually he tells me that next semester, he'll be so packed with his schedule that he'll have no free time. Ever.

I say, "I'll ask this one last time. Do you want to see me?" He says we should go our separate ways, and that I didn't do anything but it was just that we couldn't hang out.....I don't understand it. Sure, your car is broken, but at least see me in person to say goodbye. Or hang out as friends. I don't know.

I still don't know when he stopped wanting me. Or why. We're unfollowed on insta and snap now...but he was my first love and the first man I truly trusted, and he broke my heart . I know I may have come off as anxious but I never blamed him. I just wanted him to tell me in concrete terms what was happening. I didn't want these games.

Does anyone have any similar experiences with SOs?

I am sorry to hear that he broke your heart. It is very common for this to occur. Many times when someone breaks up with you they will not even tell you why. Or if they give you a reason, it will not be completely truthful. Sometimes you have no clue that a breakup is coming. It is very abrupt.

I remember that a girl I was dating for a couple years broke up with me because she didn't want to get serious and get married. She moved to another state and was married within a few months.

All the time.

Sorry that happened. The first time is always the hardest.

I had an experience with my first girlfriend. We were going to get married. She was having a dress made. Then one day she acted strange. She drove at dangerous speeds down a country lane as if she was expecting me to say something? I didn't say anything. She was a bit secretive at times. (I only found out she was having a devorce from her sister about a month before. I never knew she had been married! I should have dumped her then). Anyway. Things had been going so, so well. Then she wanted me to buy a van she wanted. It was nearly new. I took out a loan. Part exchanged my car. I didn't want the van but she liked it. I was going to buy myself a cheap Volvo estate. Plenty around back then, and give her the van when we married which was going to be soon after. She then wanted me to take all my years annual leave off at the same time so I did. When on the first or second day of my annual leave, we met up and she saw I had the van, she said she wanted time to herself to think. I said ok. I kissed her as we did before we would part and she went buzzurk and shouted at me. No idea why. I just thought she was having an off day. Was the last I saw her.
I tried phoneing, texting, calling in... (She lived about 50 miles away)... Nothing... I wanted to know if we were still an item. Nothing.
I was in touch with her sisters husband, but other then saying she was ok, he said nothing about anything else.
About a month and a half later I was feeling desperate. I tried texting again as I had left it for a couple of weeks. Nothing, but then her dad phoned me and he was angry saying to stop texting her. I said "I take it that it is over?" He gasped and was speechless at first and then said "Yes".
I became rather suicidal. I was doing so many things to tempt fate. Once I walked straight accross a busy three lane road that others were waiting to cross and I just looked straight ahead and waited for a car to hit me. I didn't hear one car slow down yet the road was busy! I don't know how it was possible! Nothing hit me.
Anyway. About six months later I was working with a certain driver and he said he had not been able to see me because our working link had moved to opposite shifs. He said that he knew we were going to get married but he had not been able to warn me. She was intemately dating another. Turns out he was a guy she had introduced a month or two before as a friend an was staying as a guest at her parents house wheee she lived. I thought nothing of it back then as they often had people staying. When I heard that all suicidal thoughts went.
All she had to do was tell me.

Yeah, by about 95% of everyone I know.

It's not even remotely specific to dating for many of us, most of my best friends barely remember I exist because I'm just too shy for them to tolerate, I guess.

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What I don't get is the few times in my life I asked a lady out, nearly half of them were really rude and abusive to me, as if I was trying to cause them harm. I stopped asking ladies out after that. The two I have dated asked me out.
The first lady I dated was narcistic (See above). I think in all she cost me about £7k to £10k back in the days I had a good job. She was expert at getting what she wanted I guess. Or I was foolish as she was my first date.
The second date I didn't have money. I was embarissed as she paid foe me to have a meal etc. An absolutely beautifully hearted lady.

This seems like catfishing behavior if you only knew him online Whale_Tuune. I'm not sure if you knew him offline or not.

I was suddenly dumped by my 2nd girlfriend. We were long distance but we had met each other in person. She was in college & had exams/midterms & I gave her space for a couple weeks so she could focus on that. We had been talking about me spending ThanxGiving with her but she dumped me 1ce the exams were over. She did give me some reasons thou one of which included her parents being very hard-core conservatives & didn't want us living together unless we were married & they would of cut her off financially if we would of gotten married. I'm disabled & on Social Security disability & my income is NOT enough to support both of us especially with her going to college. Me & her had also been having fights a lot(I'm not gonna get into what they were about) but that's another reason she dumped me. I had aLOT of fights with my 1st girlfriend as well & my current(which is my 3rd) but me & my current have been living together 6 & half years now. We both take romantic relationships very seriously & we both know that we each have more than our fair share of issues so we're not gonna breakup just cuz we have fights. We both feel awful after for upsetting the other.

I'm sorry. Unfortunately this is incredibly common among the younger crowd especially. Try not to take it too personally. He probably just didn't know how to be nice about breaking up with you and led you on for awhile. You're 20, you'll be okay. I promise.

Yeah...I have...and it really sucks!

This has happened to everyone, and I really regret to say it will happen again. Get acquainted with the concept of "ghosting". It started with ppl your age but has since been adopted by many "adults". It can happen seemingly out of the blue,, done by a person you thought you knew well.
The way a person ends a relationship says a lot about the person- if he comes back, you should have triple thoughts about being with him again.

I think this is really common. People want to end a relationship for a lot of reasons, but it takes heart and character to be honest and up front about it. It is easier in this day and age to sort of slowly fade out of someone's life.

Chances are you did nothing wrong, and he is just young and doesn't want to be committed to one person while he is traveling around and getting his first experiences of life.

Yes I have. People do this. People are sh***y people.

There is always a reason, but we don't necessarily get to know it in full and maybe it doesn't even matter. People use each other, and most friendships seem a case of symbiosis like in the animal kingdom. When another deems that their partner is less desirable by comparison than another partner, or no longer of use, they may not bother spending a lot of time or effort to end things in a graceful manner. That's there the Aspie thing hurts, because we are not picking up clues, the lie detector isn't working as well.

One way to compensate is get paranoid, assume the worse, because the worse is definitely possible, guilty until proven innocent, that kind of thing, but there's a danger there too of getting too paranoid, not trusting anyone, spinning the wheels and wasting energy on phantoms and ghosts. I think some paranoia is adaptive. You know, don't give your love any money. Zip. If you give money, you are getting taken, that's my rule. Don't reveal "too much." Don't assume they tell the truth all the time. They don't. Humans lie. If they do something suspicious, then don't assume nothing is going on. Well, that helped me.