"But a woman's number of options doesn't matter!"

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05 Sep 2019, 9:07 pm

Personality, intelligence and chemistry can not be found with chatting to random strangers online.
The best matches are found in real world interactions at school, work, church, through family/friends or hobbies/interests.
Dozens of online matches are to boost ego and attention seeking. Meeting up with random strangers is dangerous and should be avoided.

The Grand Inquisitor
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05 Sep 2019, 9:23 pm

Rainbow_Belle wrote:

Unfortunately, not all of us have those avenues you mentioned to meet a significant other.

martianprincess
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05 Sep 2019, 10:09 pm

Rainbow_Belle wrote:

I've only ever met one person out of dozens offline. I really don't know what I would have done without the internet. I probably wouldn't be married right now.

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nick007
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06 Sep 2019, 8:31 pm

martianprincess wrote:

Rainbow_Belle wrote:

I've only ever met one person out of dozens offline. I really don't know what I would have done without the internet. I probably wouldn't be married right now.

I know what you mean. NO women offline were ever willing to give me half a chance for a romantic relationship. I've met my current girlfriend & both my exes online. I met the ladder two on this forum. We were able to get a feel for each other so to speak from reading the other's posts & we chatted online for months before meeting up. I was very willing to relocate to be with my current girlfriend which I did 6 & half years ago. I also would of been very willing to relocate to be with both my exes but things never got that far.

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Mona Pereth
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06 Sep 2019, 8:55 pm

nick007 wrote:

martianprincess wrote:

I've only ever met one person out of dozens offline. I really don't know what I would have done without the internet. I probably wouldn't be married right now.

Indeed, if one is going to meet people online, forums are probably much better than dating services. Besides this forum, there are probably forums devoted to just about any conceivable hobby one might have.

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BDavro
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06 Sep 2019, 9:01 pm

domineekee wrote:

I no longer give a s**t.

It's a load of bollocks, I'm with you.

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06 Sep 2019, 9:03 pm

MushroomPrincess wrote:

I get a lot of guys messaging me on Tinder (and Grindr, Fetlife etc.)

And 99% of them fall into the following categories:

-Lame middle-class straight guy with the personality of a glass of water
-Attractive and athletic "chad" types just looking for a booty call
-Chasers who don't see trans women as people, just accessories for their fetish

I get dozens of matches a day, talk to them for about five minutes each, and almost always I can clock them as one of those three types. And sometimes when I'm feeling daring, I'll tell a chaser "sure, you can f**k my tr***y ass but it's not going to be cheap, show me some benjamins", usually they unmatch me after that.

It's just basic sociology. Humans are a social animal, and to impress someone there's a personality filter you have to pass. And that goes for me too! I've had plenty of guys match with me because they liked my pics, and then not want to meet me because of my sh***y personality. It happens to women too.

Every day?

How much time are you wasting on dating rubbish?

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06 Sep 2019, 9:17 pm

Rainbow_Belle wrote:

Dozens of online matches are to boost ego and attention seeking.

I guess some people might use it to get attention, but that's not how everyone uses online dating. People do meet partners through it.

[/quote]Meeting up with random strangers is dangerous and should be avoided.[/quote]

Millions do this everyday without getting attacked. You meet in a public place.

You sound like one of these people who can't see any good in technology and who doesn't get the point of things like Instagram.

It's not all shallowness in internet-land. Some shallow people give it a bad name, but thetes genuine folks put there too.

Sahn
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07 Sep 2019, 3:12 am

BDavro wrote:

domineekee wrote:

I no longer give a s**t.

It's a load of bollocks, I'm with you.

Good, failure is an option. Can't be bothered.
Big up all the rotten apples who never even tried.

MushroomPrincess
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07 Sep 2019, 3:05 pm

BDavro wrote:

Every day?

How much time are you wasting on dating rubbish?

Maybe like half an hour to an hour whenever I ride the bus? And it's not a total waste, but I've honestly gotten more sex the old-fashioned way (going to bars) then through dating apps. Internet boys have a tendency to chicken out before getting a chance to meet, bunch of chickens...

DW_a_mom
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07 Sep 2019, 4:10 pm

She knows her, you know you. When it comes to all other women, you are BOTH guessing.

So I fall back to doing what feels right to you. You can't be anything but yourself pursuing relationships, realistically, so why bother? Don't overthink it, just do what you feel inspired to do.

I realize I know NOTHING about modern dating with apps and what not, but some things don't change. Unless you enjoy playing games and have mastered them, don't even try. Just be you.

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Last edited by DW_a_mom on 07 Sep 2019, 6:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.

DW_a_mom
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07 Sep 2019, 4:15 pm

sly279 wrote:

martianprincess wrote:

When I was dating I had a profile on OkCupid. I received tons of messages in a day, and my philosophy is that it's quality over quantity. I responded to as many as I could, even if it was to say I wasn't interested or to just see where the conversation went even if their profile didn't strike me right away. The people who always kept my attention were interesting to talk to, I didn't feel like I had to "prop up" the conversation, they clearly read my profile and were interested in me as a person, and we have things to talk about beyond "I like to breathe air too, cool."

The number of options didn't matter to me as much as the quality of the options. If I had received 500 messages and I didn't connect with anyone, I wouldn't have gone on any dates.

Your post proves boos point. You pick the quality men not the losers.
Most aspie men aren’t quality men, we the quantity that gets thrown away.

Most women look at my picture and swipe me away, the few who read my profile see I’m worthless and swipe me away. Very few read my profile, non message me or match with me.

I'm a little biased, but I think my ASD son is a quality man. He found a girlfriend the old fashioned way: real life. They started as friends and eventually realized they really wanted to date. They are actually both ASD; they bonded over that fact. It's why they became friends to start with.

When it comes to dating, the biggest barrier for most people lives in their heads.

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hurtloam
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07 Sep 2019, 4:38 pm

DW_a_mom wrote:

When it comes to dating, the biggest barrier for most people lives in their heads.

That's such an ignorant thing to say to people who have been rejected over and over again.

It's not us stopping ourselves, it's other people saying no to us!

We try and people always say no.

THEY SAY NO. not us.

smudge
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07 Sep 2019, 4:50 pm

Hurtloam when you say things like you're too good for autism groups and online dating, I find it hard to take you seriously.

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hurtloam
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07 Sep 2019, 4:51 pm

smudge wrote:

Hurtloam when you say things like you're too good for autism groups and online dating, I find it hard to take you seriously.

I don't care what you think. :p

I'll live my life how I want.

They all said no. They all said no. They all said no.

hurtloam
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07 Sep 2019, 4:58 pm

I'm not too good. I'm too tired. I just can't do this anymore.

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