Ideal ND dating

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A recent happening has changed my mind about how NDs should go about dating and finding compatible partners. Since I discovered mind-to-mind connections I have now experienced two more this year.

The first one happened during summer with an ex from 30 years ago. I just happened to be in her city, and could actually have met her for real, but didn't. I think we both knew we had shared friends, and that my family met with them. Anyway, just out of the blue, I got a question in my head if I was available, and I answered that I wasn't and that I had a new love interest. Our exchange continued until we left the city. I also happened to send her a friend request (it actually was a mistake), and she accepted. She likes a lot of what I share, but I avoid direct conversation. I think it could be possible that the brief relationship 30 years ago could have helped to form the mind-to-mind connection, even if I didn't notice that back then, and that's why we could "talk" like that without even meeting.

The second happening this week seems to confirm that these connections can form very quickly between compatible people. We were at the same place for close to an hour, and I feel we communicated mind-to-mind already when we sat there. This was later confirmed when the dialogue continued for a few days more at a distance.

Thinking back on this, I can see how this also happened on an Aspie gathering a few years back too, but at that time I was not open to this possibility, but the signs sure were there.

I think this indeed gives a path to good relationships for NDs, that can start at least a bit similar to dating.

Here are a couple of possibilities:

1. You actually go to a date, but don't bother with flow in communication, but instead focus on if you can create a nonverbal connection. Ideally, you could just sit for half-an-hour (or even longer if you want to) without talking. If you feel you get a connection, you have a match that you could go on more hangouts with. If your date think it is too strange, then you know you are incompatible and so you could go into "NT mode" to give them a good time, but then not bother with seeing them again. I think it is important that your date realize that you actually CAN talk, but just decide not to so you can form a connection.

2. You can go to various activities to check for people that you can connect to. The rule is the same as with dating. You should focus on the connection and ignore flow in communication and trying to imitate NTs. I think Aspie gatherings could be a good place. However, note that if you cannot find somebody on the same wavelength within meeting the group members several times, there is little to no hope that it will happen as you get to know them better, and so you should move on and try another group instead.

3. I also think this works in public places, especially during the warm season. People do sit outdoors when conditions are favorable, and many young women do too, and so this is definitely a possibility. The eye-contact game can come in handy here too, but just sitting at a distance would be enough to form a connection if you are compatible.

Ok so before this gets jumped on I'll add my take on the mind to mind connection.

Some of us spend years subconsciously and consciously studying/repetitive focusing on body language... replaying experiences in our mind to find the signals we missed.
With my SO we are both very in tune with eachother, but any moments we have that are similar to the feeling you get from mind to mind are a result of focussing on our social communication repetition difficulties in the past.

This "knowing' comes from my subconscious, which is only trustworthy when I am in good health, mentally and physically.

Another example of this with me... I've always struggled with time management. It improved gradually over the years, at one point I fixated on time so deeply that from then onwards my internal sense of time is accurate at a guess to 10/15 mins, but its usually under 5/10 mins, if not exact.
I still struggle deeply with time management though, being able to know the time hasn't removed that barrier with executive functioning.

It's the patterns some of us notice, we might not understand them or be able to interpret them in the moment or ever. Sometimes though for some of us (huge variances in expression of being autistic) our subconscious will make sense of them.

Yes, the mind to mind communication comes from the subconscious. You just get things in your head without having heard them or read them. I think the biggest obstacle for actually taking advantage of this is that we reject that it is real. I'm sure I did reject it until couldn't explain it in any other way. As soon as I stopped rejecting these things, they start to pop up with other people as well.

So, nowadays I always regard this as trustworthy, and it's amazing how well it works.

It would be nice if you could prove objectively that these "mind-to-mind connections" actually exist.

In another thread a while back, we agreed that the only likely mode of transmission, if indeed these "mind-to-mind connections" are real, would be RF signals in or near the shortwave range.

Do you think that you, given both your academic EE background and your amateur radio background, would be able to build a device to detect these signals?

I think the problem is with the antenna. Typically, an antenna is supposed to be tuned into a small frequency band and be direction sensitive, but here we want a device that can pickup a wide frequency band (from a specific direction). We also want to avoid picking up noise from the electronics itself, which likely will have a microprocessor operating in the same frequency interval. I think this is a nontrivial problem. My guess is that if a proper antenna can be constructed, you would want to have a very sensitive AD converter operating at several 100MHz. This data would then be sampled for long enough, and then analysed with some type of software algorithms. A possibility might be to use a digital oscilloscope that can operate up to close to 1GHz, but those are very expensive. I think you would need multiple recordings when the same signals are sent to be able to identify the patterns. It probably could be done with equipment readily available.

Given the amount of data needed and the speed, embedded processors like microchip PIC will not work. We would need a PC with a few gigabytes of memory and a transfer speed of several 100MHz. A possibility is an USB 3 device, but those are not typically supported by simple onechip processors. Another possibility is a processor with an ethernet device.

The major problem is that I don't know how things are coded and if it would be possible to extract a signal with much less data with a narrow filter and so the complete signal must be sampled and transferred.

Another possibility might be to use several directional antennas that are placed in a circle around the sender. These signals could then be sampled at a high frequency and summed to remove noise. Alternatively, the antennas could be placed at known distances from the sender and then common signals from faraway radio sources could be removed.

It seems to me that the first step would be to determine what kind of RF noise your body normally emits (if any noticeable noise at all) when you are in a shielded room. Then, see if said noise changes in any noticeable way when you try to do one of those mind-to-mind connections.

The change may be indecipherable, at least for now, but shouldn't be negligible, given how far you believe the signal is capable of traveling.

I just don’t have these sorts of “powers.”

I’m just a regular schmuck.

I have to do communication the “normal” way—with words complementing “telling glances.”

I think it is important to point out that there is no need to assume that the connection you feel with somebody needs to be recognizable as mind-to-mind. There are regular posts here in L&D about people feeling a special connection without them describing it as mind-to-mind. So, I'm pretty sure the advice to concentrate on feeling a connection (which is easier if you don't talk non-stop) and not bother about NTs social rules is good advice regardless if you believe in mind to mind connections or not. Of course, this also means that all the advice that you first need to learn a lot of social rules before you can date successfully is misguided since it is this you largely should ignore to find compatible people you can connect with.