Developing friendships/being consistent and empathetic

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Hello, I am new to the online aspect of developing my self sufficiency as an adult. Looking to consistently feel secure and confident and able to relate to people in real time(with understanding) if possible. I would like to feel safe to be vulnerable and learn how to do that so that new people will enjoy my presence and want to get to know me. If I were to see someone I am interested in, I want to know that I can have a conversation of mutual interest and present myself in such a way that is inviting, desirable, and authentic enough but not off putting to, lets say, normies for example. I want to develop the patience and confidence to get to know people and find someone I am compatible with and be willing to invest in friendships and possibly a romantic partner. I spend a lot of time in my head and need to learn social skills so that I don't feel so isolated. On one level I know what to do. Put myself out there in social situations in person but on another I have difficulty being appropriate and consistent and have known myself to get discouraged easily. It doesn't take much to put people off and feel as though I am running out of people to get to know because of a negative reputation(others judgements and misunderstanding perhaps). I have been in one serious relationship but was lost for what to do when I got dumped and confused as to what to do. I now know she would have been willing to stay with me if only I had communicated with her and we had done the hard work to work through our problems. But instead I just focused on myself and moved forward and kind of blocked her out. These difficult times is where I would like to learn to be open and vulnerable and learn to work through things efficiently so that I develop my own stability instead of looking for sources of stability and being unable to provide emotional stability, support and consistency for others. I know I am fairly well spoken but this is on a screen with what I perceive to likely be a safe and supportive community. It also provides ample time to think about what to say and how, unlike in person conversations. I feel that this is not the real world where first impressions are made all the time and social expectations are high for people who don't naturally fold into the mix with most people. In a sense I figure I can do this on my own by reading articles and going out and applying the advice but I think it's a good idea to have this place to go for support if need be for myself or others. So who would like to talk? Thanks for being here everybody.

I'm the resident Normie here so can offer advice,

I think you already know (judging from your post) that to meet somebody compatible with you (who is in all probability going to be a normie) requires putting yourself out there.

There is only so far that strategising in your head or posting on discussion forums will get you.

Building self-confidence requires trial and error in real world situations. The crucial thing here is to expect/accept there will be some misunderstanding, embarrassment and pain. No pain no gain. Resilience and persistence are a skills you need in dating and friendship. Positive psychology

Take rejection with a smile and never burn bridges. Others out there admire positive people but you are more likely to meet people who will be your friends or partners if you keep going. Sometimes people who reject you the first time will come back to you as well.

Thank you. Yes, that helps. I see that I don't even have to change myself. Just keep trying and putting myself out there. See my own value and put myself out there. People want the same thing I do so if I keep showing up things can happen.

And not burning bridges is a very good idea.

She did come back by the way. I didn't know what to do or understand what she wanted. Not thinking in terms of emotions and how people get bonded. Thinking in terms of she already said she was done. I guess I was figuring my own self respect and being a numbers guy and how things were going and being inexperienced I was afraid of running out of money, then being useless and then it ending anyway. And she moving on. Didn't know what she meant by telling me how much she needed me and that she'd tried to move on but couldn't, and told the person she was dating she had to see what was left. Things were fractured and I had no clue how to put it back together and in the back of my mind was resigned about how it would go in the end anyway. I'd already been rejected and in my mind that was that so I didn't see the point anymore. I would have had to really step it up I guess. But being chronically depressed I just didn't think I had what it would take.