Have you ever been attracted to unattractive individuals?

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Is there a term for wanting to be friends with someone that you don’t know very well?

I think you can be drawn to people for friendship and even for a need for support/social fulfillment without knowing them. If you ever watched the 90s sitcom "Cheers' the character played by Kelsey Grammer (Dr Frasier Crane) always stopped by the "Cheers" bar in NY and met the same people every day after work. Despite having nothing in common with the bar room regulars or the bartender (Woody Harrelson) he was drawn to them as friends because of a shared need to relax and to share stories. A similar scenario takes place in the coffeeshop in the 90s sitcom "Becker" where the character played by Ted Danson (Dr John Becker) would stop at a coffee shop and despite having nothing in common with strangers who drink coffee after work they meet regularly there and become friends despite knowing nothing about each other.

I used to do this when I first started working, I would go to the same Lebonese coffeeshop every day after work and read a book and relax. Eventually not only did I get to know the owner and his wife but I would meet the regulars who came from diverse backgrounds and we bonded and one of the men (an aspiring artist) became a long-term friend who I cherish (despite losing touch after getting married).

I used to watch Cheers.
The thought of having those kinds of relationships makes me uncomfortable. I’d rather be small fish in a big pond mind where nobody readily recognizes me.

Ok I get that...

I used to like the randomness of going to the coffeeshop everyday no knowing who might turn up? as a regular I felt comfortable after a while and when strangers turned up it was like I was a local (which I wasn't really) checking them out.

I wanted to flip the idea that to become friends you have to have common interests before you can talk to somebody. In the NT world that isn't actually the case. Doctors make friends with carpenters. Dancers make friends (and even marry) architects (I know of one couple).

Sometimes the when you approach this subject too logically you restrict opportunities to have new experiences

That's a good point.
I know I shouldn't be as reclusive as I am. Sometimes making yourself uncomfortable is necessary to get to bigger and better things.

Unfortunate, but so very true.

In terms of putting yourself in an uncomfortable social situation (I do this every day) the secret is emotional regulation + filters.

Firstly learn/practice to regulate your emotions in the presence of NTs. Social anxiety can honestly be cured if you rationalise the situation beforehand.

Second; when you are able to maintain your composure then communicate in a relaxed way (you don't have to pretend; just be yourself). Apply filters and don't just blurt out the first thing that comes to your head. Anticipate what the other person might want to hear (have a presence of mind or what NT kids learn at a young age which is theory of mind in putting yourself in other people's shoes). You don't have to overthink it; just communicate really neutral small talk.

One example: "the coffee here is really good! ins't it' (say it with a smile).

If the person is pleasant and willing to engage then they see it as a cue to ask about what's on the menu....if they then after recommending stuff you might say...."When the weather is good I always enjoy the walk here".... this might be another cue...if the person is still unsure about you they might just comment on the weather but if they are interested in going further for friendship they might ask where you walk from?....and so it goes....friendships start this way

Absolutely, people from all walks of life can become friends, but a friendship is difficult to maintain if you have nothing in common. By the same token, when you see the same people often in a context like on Cheers or Becker, it's almost inevitable that you form some kind of rapport with them.

On Becker, what they all had in common was the diner itself. Had Becker just visited the diner a handful of times instead of every day, it's unlikely that he would have formed friendships with the other people in there.

I've been attracted to people who were unconventionally attractive, or at least weren't conventionally attractive; but since I found them attractive it's hard to insist they weren't attractive.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

I have fallen in love at first sight many times, and these relationships lasted for many years.
I felt a combination of chemistry, physical attraction which was overwhelming, both men dark, bearded, eyes shining with warmth and mischief. Click! That was it as if we had known each other for millenia.That's how attraction works for me.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

*hic*

That's a very funny observation boo. Hic hic hurray

This.

Some men think that women have a visual response to things as they do, porn for example. Women actually respond more to cerebral stimulation such as verbal descriptions, intellect, humour. I don't know why men think that women are stimulated by pictures of their own favourite appendege, just because they like seeing naked women, women are much more turned on by words and innuendo.
Beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. Humour and confidence are as sexy and attractive as it gets.

Because nobody taught me any differently until about 5 years ago. I had to hear it initially from an older female coworker and didn't have a clue before that. With no alternative frame of reference can you blame anyone for thinking that way?