Where to get advice on physical intimacy and relationships

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rainbowbutterfly
Toucan
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24 Oct 2019, 2:14 am

I thought that I gained enough knowledge to be able to handle dating, because I have some idea on what I want and understand the importance of communication. However, now that I've started to seriously date I realize that I could use some help in communicating touchy issues (such as saying I want to be kissed a certain way, issues of overstimulation, etc.) that I didn't anticipate. Also, there are some insecurities I have that still need to be dealt with. I feel like I could not only use the help of a sex therapist, but someone who understands the autism spectrum and psychological counseling in general. I live in Orange County, CA, and know of an autism specialist in my area that talks about sexual issues as well. However, I prefer to see a female therapist and I don't know any female therapists that emphasize on both relationship counseling/sex therapy and the autism spectrum. Does anyone know of one, or know where to go to find one? Also, is it possible to see a counselor on a case-by-case basis, instead of through weekly appointments? I know that there are counselors you can talk to online, but it doesn't feel as confidential as it would be to see one in person. Any advice is appreciated.

Thanks.



that1weirdgrrrl
Deinonychus
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24 Oct 2019, 7:08 am

You could also look for books by sex therapists.
I found "Unfck your intimacy" by Faith Harper helpful. She covers a lot of areas, so I skipped around to find what was useful.

Also, try searching for Sensory Processing Disorder. It could yield more help than just searching for autism's affect on intimacy.

I wish you all the best and hope you can find a good counselor/therapist (sorry I'm no help on that front)



rainbowbutterfly
Toucan
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24 Oct 2019, 4:10 pm

I can look into those things though. The funny thing is I never realized I had an issue with overstimulation until I started dating. But it makes sense, because I'm an introvert.

Thanks!



Archmage Arcane
Snowy Owl
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Joined: 13 Jun 2019
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24 Oct 2019, 7:57 pm

Recently began a relationship that is rapidly deepening. We agreed to frankly discuss everything we do in the relationship before it happens. So far, it's working fabulously (most AS-like NT person I've ever encountered; just astounding).

How about discussing with your partner exactly what you want to have happen in the relationship? It might sound off-the-wall if you didn't start off this way, but if you can get it to work for you it prevents a lot of misunderstandings.



rainbowbutterfly
Toucan
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24 Oct 2019, 11:41 pm

He wanted to move so quickly into a relationship and gave me expectations when I wasn't ready for a relationship. Also, there were some suggestions I wanted to tell him (without being rude) that I didn't get a chance to say. I just later on felt too much stress/pressure and called it off.



FletcherArrow
Raven
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27 Oct 2019, 11:05 am

rainbowbutterfly wrote:
I thought that I gained enough knowledge to be able to handle dating, because I have some idea on what I want and understand the importance of communication. However, now that I've started to seriously date I realize that I could use some help in communicating touchy issues (such as saying I want to be kissed a certain way, issues of overstimulation, etc.) that I didn't anticipate. Also, there are some insecurities I have that still need to be dealt with. I feel like I could not only use the help of a sex therapist, but someone who understands the autism spectrum and psychological counseling in general. I live in Orange County, CA, and know of an autism specialist in my area that talks about sexual issues as well. However, I prefer to see a female therapist and I don't know any female therapists that emphasize on both relationship counseling/sex therapy and the autism spectrum. Does anyone know of one, or know where to go to find one? Also, is it possible to see a counselor on a case-by-case basis, instead of through weekly appointments? I know that there are counselors you can talk to online, but it doesn't feel as confidential as it would be to see one in person. Any advice is appreciated.

Thanks.


Online therapy is confidential if the therapist is licensed Try Talkspace.com



rainbowbutterfly
Toucan
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Joined: 4 May 2009
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Location: California

28 Oct 2019, 1:36 am

I'll look into that. Thanks!