Divorce :\

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Has anyone with ASD here been through a divorce? In June a day before I started a new job that I was already super anxious about my ex decided that she no longer wanted to be married to me and wanted me to move out of my house. She claims she hadn't been happy for a few years. But whenever I would ask her if she was happy she would act like we were great.
Well I guess I should have seen it coming but like a lot of things in life I must have missed the emotional signals. In fact she did say that she needs someone who is more emotional suitable for her. She listed some of the reasons she was leaving me. One of them being that she can't handle me and my aspie ways. She also said that my obsessing about learning cyber security when I was in school a few years ago drove a wedge between us. Silly me, I was focused on graduating and getting a good job to provide for our family. Then I finally do all these things and she wanted to leave the marriage.
I can see the positives in the whole situation and in fact motivated me more so than ever to be successful. Everybody keeps saying "It'll get better and It will get easier." Yeah I understand that but when will it get better? It hasn't seemed to get better for me yet. It seems that my ex has no problem moving on being that she is going out partying with other guys already.
I can admit my mistakes and only try to not repeat them in the future. But what am I suppose to do when someone can't handle me having aspergers? It is something that is not ever going to go away. It really makes me feel isolated and like a failure. I am almost afraid to ever start dating again because I am not "normal" and eventually the next person who won't understand me decides to leave me as well.
I don't really know why I decided to post this long post. Maybe to get some advice from other people with ASD who have been in a similar situation.

I did read a good quote about divorce though it said something like a divorce is like an opportunity to start over with a new life.

Any insight would be appreciated.
Thanks

Are there any children involved?

If not, then try your best to walk away from this train wreck.

Yes, I have two. Which is sh***y because I am a kid who went through this kind of thing. My kids are my priority to make sure they transition the best. I still see them a couple times a week. And I agree it is a train wreck. Unfortunately, she knows that I am nice and care enough to not let me kids not have a good life and takes advantage of me for it. I can't stop her from doing the things that she is doing but I also don't have to like it or be a part of it.

I am sorry that you are going through a divorce. The world we live in has undergone many core changes in the last few generations. Back in the old days, the role of the husband was to provide income for the family and the role of the wife was to run the household. Both were very intensive positions and required a good degree of work. In the present world we have many labor saving devices that make life far more simpler. Running the household is significantly less difficult nowadays. That has freed up significantly more time for both the husband and wife. Back in the old days life was about survival, today it is about leisure.

By focusing on developing a career, it gives you the financial stability to get married and raise a family. That is a good thing. There are many parts of this world where life is harsh and financial stability is still cherished. Perhaps if you pursue the dating scene again, you might go out of the box and look for a girl who wishes to raise a family and the two of you could face any storm that may blow together.

I'm really sorry this is happening, especially with the reason why it is. There are people here on WP, on the spectrum, who are in a relationship, so that's one thing you can let console you.

Yeah, if only it was 1930s again. I always feel I would have done better living in the 1800s or something.

I am so sorry you are going through this, and that your ex is using the aspie excuse, which hurts the worst because it is who you are. I've gone through divorce, more than once. Each time I have learned more about myself and how to cope a bit better in life. I didn't know I was aspie then. The last divorce really shattered me. I had felt so much love and was so happy. I guess he lost interest and found someone new.

It takes time to get over the loss of an important relationship. How much time? It probably varies, but I would guess a year. Take the time to put yourself back together and start anew.
I did get a "divorce card". It said something like, sorry about your divorce, and then you open it and it said something like: Announcing a hot new single...you.

It loses something in the telling. Sorry.

Take care of yourself.

Is an aweful thing... I just don't know what I can say.

Also divorced, married the wrong type of guy. I wasnt diagnosed at the time, but many ASC things about me irritated him. My communication style most of all, so many crossed wires, my social challenges, rigid thinking and executive functioning difficulties too... he was a very closed minded intolerant person, among many other negative things that I wont veer off into

It took me quite a while to recover, but I was dealing with complicated grief at the time.
5 years on and I'm in what is shaping up to be a long term relationship with another Aspie, a much better fit.

June is quite recent, only 5 months ago, to me it would be normal for you to take longer to heal as you didn't see this coming, whereas she was mentally prepared to end your marriage.
I am sorry you are going through this, it hurts like hell to be betrayed by someone who you believed loved you, as you did them.

Yeah its the betrayal and lack of respect that hurts me the most. I wasn't diagnosed either when we got married. I was just diagnosed last November. But, I am glad to hear you are dating another Aspie. It gives me hope.