QFT wrote:
rdos wrote:
I find friends first completely unsatisfactory. I want passion in a relationship, and the friendship road will lead to a boring relationship with poor attachment. Suboptimal in every way. A relationship should start with a crush and friendship should be last, not first.
That just begs the question. Why does friendship precludes passion?
Because passion is based on infatuation (past or present), and I cannot get infatuated with a friend.
QFT wrote:
Intuitively, it seems like friendship and passion should go hand by hand: you feel so much in common with your friend, that you become passionate about it!
A friendship is something that is beneficial for both parties, and preferentially without too many emotions. It only continues as long as it is still beneficial. Something that is highly incompatible with a longterm relationship.
QFT wrote:
On the other hand, if you compartmentalize such as "no I can't be a friend because we date", there is nothing passionate about it, just some cold-hearted rules you are trying to follow.
I find "dating" a highly undesirable method for starting a romantic relationship, and I have no rules.