Hi Everyone.
I don't know where to begin really, i just feel a bit down at the moment. I basically met this guy online around nine months ago now, he approached me on youtube and we got chatting for a while, then their was this talk on potentially meeting up and he was willing to meet and speak to my parents and he even said that his sister and his mum were willing to speak with them too. My family went mental and when i spoke to him twice on the phone, they would snatch the phone off me, have a go at me for talking to him and then the second time they contacted him, using my phone. My brother shouted out pervert for him to hear too. They text him and then warned him to end all contact with me after the second time they snatched my phone. Shouting as well, saying they'll get the police and social services involved. They gave me ultimatums that if i was to meet him, i'd be chucked out and they would have a go at me, saying that i was groomed and he might've raped me and was probably impersonating someone ect. I met him on webcam after he approached me and i wouldn't of ever met up with anyone on my own and would've met him in a public place, we spoke for months and got to know one another before we discussed meeting, we exchanged numbers after a while too. I understand that my parents didn't approve of anything but the way they dealt with it traumatised me, they've told me to forget all about it and move on now. They went from considering it to just warning him off and going on about online grooming and they didn't meet nor spoke to him or his family, when this chap said that he was willing to meet and talk to them, same goes with his mum and sister. There was a misunderstanding in regards to age, he mistakenly told me he was 13 years older when he's actually 19 years older than me, he never told me he was an uncle and that his sister was married, only said he had a sister and she had a partner, due to communication errors, it looks as if he wasn't whom he said he was, even though he can prove whom he is. He said he respected his sisters privacy, that is why he didn't mention that fact. I found that all the time he was interested in me, he left flirty compliments on other ladies you tube videos, which he claim is "hippy talk" and just "compliments" but it's me he likes and his family and gardening clients know about me ect and he's just a complimentary person and theirs nothing more un towards. Theirs an age difference and a difference geographically, he's two and a half hours away from me and even though we haven't physically met, we did spent endless hours, talking on skype, the phone, on webcam and left each other messages throughout the day for months on end and got to know each other. He claims to be vulnerable and have AS like traits too, like me and we more or less got along. We stupidly used to exchange sex messages but i reciprocated and i've never done that before, we were two lonely single people and consensual adults but my parents found out and went mental but most of the time, we generally spoke about general and mundane things. It has still had an impact on me though, as i got to know him for months, i find it hard to meet and talk to anyone and i'm a vulnerable lady of 28. I don't go out clubbing or pubbing or anything like that, i'm introverted and socially awkward and definitely not the type to initiate anything or actively look to date. My parents are protective and i appreciate the fact they did some investigating and looked out for me but they can be extreme with the over protectiveness, like if i want to date someone in the future, i will have to be dropped off and picked up from somewhere and i'm restricted in that sense and i want that to change. They often talk about me like i'm a teenager or a young girl then a women of 28. I haven't had help from anyone but i'm currently taking kalm tablets as i have anxiety issues and suffered with panic attacks and a couple of years ago i self harmed. I just feel so low all the time and all i've done for months is with drawn myself and i just finding it hard to regain my confidence, especially when my main company was this guy online and all we wanted to do was meet for a coffee, i wanted someone to go with me for support and i wouldn't of gone alone due to my vulnerability and anxiety and plus he's someone i met online. I feel so lonely and depressed. I emailed mind and they recommended numbers for me to call and advise on how to get help with my gp and contacts for groups to potentially join but i'm wondering if theirs a way on getting some form of mediation involved and a way to build bridges, for me and this chap that still would like to meet and i've grown attached to him and still really like him.
Can i just say, this chap, despite being threatened to keep away, has stuck by me, been abiding, never forced me to do anything, was all for me meeting him with someone and not go alone, he advised me to go to my gp and get anti depressants as he was concerned for my health and wellbeing as i told him about my anxiety and depression. I've contacted organisations and places that i thought would help with mediation and helping us to meet.
He was willing to even come down to my area to see me. Support me. I've confided in him and told him about someone that bullies me and he's willing to defend me and support me. He's still willing to prove that he's genuine too.
Regards
Sorrowfairiewhisper
Update.
This man i defended, well basically ever since we've met, He asked me out and asked if i would like to meet him before i even met him on webcam he was reluctant about meeting on webcam and said it was "tacky", he assumed i lived locally to him too, he wasn't honest about his age, didn't say he was an uncle and that his sister was married, only said sister and her partner, said he was once in love with a lady he looked after and then said he cared about her and she was a relative through marriage. Accused me and this YouTuber of being a thing, when i didn't know this man and he commented on my videos and i his. He said he'll never talk to me again if i continue talking to him, when me and him only discussed topics generally, this youtuber that i spoke too that was accused of being a *thing*, was even concerned about my wellbeing in regards to this man that i liked. This man i liked, once claim that he would drown himself to mentally manipulate me too. Yet the man i liked, he left flirty comments on women's videos, women that were half his age and came across as a right creep, he claimed it was (hippy talk) and he's "complimentary" by nature. He used to compare me to another women and wrote romantic poetry based on her and made out it was for me, in reference it was about her and he talks about her alot. I've gotten grief over this man and even fought to meet him and i've woken up and realise what an idiot i've been. He brought up making love earlier on upon meeting, marriage and even kids. I think because i got emotionally involved and attached to this man and because he claimed to have as traits, i wanted it to be true that he was genuine and not what people think but now i know different.
06 Jun 2018, 7:44 pm
