Can two Autistic people work in a relationship?

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In the last couple of months I have been spending a lot of time with a girl who is Autistic we have become best friends and I mean really best friends and she told me she has feelings for me. Thing I am wondering could it work as both of us are High Functioning Autistic?

I think that if you are both self aware and fully acknowledge your individual autistic difficulties/disabilities then it could be a good starting point.

Very open/honest communication about feelings and all things that impact on the relationship is also needed. Its difficult, but for me this has been key to the longevity of my AS/AS relationship.

I am a woman with ASD. I have dated men on the spectrum.

It was a weird, super-awkward, humiliating, maddening, short-lived disaster every single time. We drove one another insane!

I would also do it again in a heartbeat. Men who are into autistic women are either crazy as all f*****g hell or predators or both!

At least with an autistic guy, you know he is not a con man or an escapee from a nuthouse.

I've been in a relationship with my current girlfriend for nearly four and half years (will be January 13th). The longest I have been in a relationship with anyone and we both have Asperger syndrome which is what we really understand about each other. This can help with relationship maintenance and with both having Asperger syndrome which means it becomes a two way thing rather than the one way communication with people who are off the autistic spectrum (in my experience). It may be a better kind of relationship but autistic people have diverse experiences of people and relationships.

When he is really rude and blunt and insulting and you are very proud and delicate and sensitive- I mean, that won't work by definition. His bizarre, awkward and un-chivalrous words and behavior won't gel with your ego.

Aspie man: [Insert astoundingly tone-deaf and selfish and oblivious comment or 100]

Aspie woman: That's it! Give me my s**t! I am leaving and *never coming back*, just you wait and see!

That is the summary of my last FWB arrangement with an autistic guy.

"could it work"?

It "could" work

"Should", "can" and "will" are all different things s**t


You have to ask, is the cost benefit analysis worth it



Some things are possible or could be possible, but they are not worth the energy it takes to get it


Some things are good but ripoff


For example, a kit Kat is good but only worth a dollar

I think if it's more about the other person than self, then it would work. That has to be mutual selflessness--and then love starts. For Aspies, it's better when love works in a cycle. There is Him loving Her for being Her, and Her loving Him for being Him.

There should be openness to trying new things, and an effort to communicate in whatever way works for you. Changing routines to suit the Other is going to have to become a frequent occurrence.

And other than that, I don't see why not! Amazon.com sells some books by Autistic authors who made it work; good luck!

I've always said (at least since I've known I was) that it's very easy for Asperger's people to get locked up in intense never-ending arguments, more so than the worst NT political debate you could imagine.

When I first joined WP, one of the things I wanted to discuss was a relationship I once had with a girl who I suspected was autistic. Although now happily married for a long time, I have never been able to put my memories of that relationship to bed. It mostly has to do with how the relationship might have gone differently, given the hypothesis that she and I were both on the spectrum, had we been aware of that and taken measures to compensate for the barriers being autistic presents to good communication especially of feelings towards each other.

Unfortunately, since joining WP I have never been able to get a sense of whether she was likely autistic or not, so I've never been able to participate in that discussion from first-hand experience.

OK so I understand this isn't very helpful but I just wanted to share.

My 2nd & also my current girlfriend are both on the spectrum. My realtionship with my 2nd & current were very different from each other. My 2nd was the type who valued independence a lot & I'm actually an Aspie who loves being close & affectionate with my partner. My current girlfriend is a lot more like me in that area. Me & my current also both have various physical & mental disabilities besides Aspergers so that's another way we relate. I never had much luck trying to get NT women cuz of our communication difficulties. They're not direct & straightforward enough with me & we misunderstand each other & they get offended by what I say. NTs also wouldn't give me half a chance cuz I'm disabled & don't have my sh!t together in life. I think those of us on the spectrum tend to be more accepting & understanding of someone not having their sh!t together since wen tend to struggle with life more than NTs.