I've realized what I've been doing

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CubsBullsBears
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17 Nov 2019, 6:47 pm

Earlier today, a friend and I went to go see a movie. While I was waiting for him in the lobby, I spotted a girl who I chatted with for a little bit a couple months back and we had a date set to hang out, but she told me she couldn't that day, and her and I didn't talk to each other until today.

I've done this on a few occasions in the last few years, where I would exchange text messages with a girl, and then when I found out that her and I dating wasn't going to happen, I would stop messaging her(and no one would ever keep texting me, but I've also learned that people generally don't like to initiate things). I remember one time in particular where I went thru a several day stretch of exchanging messages with someone, and when I learned that she had gotten a BF, I stopped texting her.

I realize now that I should've just continued to casually text these people even though dating them was out the window. I hope today's realization will serve me well in the future.


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Mountain Goat
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17 Nov 2019, 6:53 pm

It is not easy to know what to do. I am always feeling that I bother people and overdo it so I then withdraw. Then if they don't text me in a period if time like a year or more I delete them from my phone. I don't hae many people on my phone. Uhmmm. But I am not a popular person.
For me, I would hate to think that I am being a pain to anybody and this is why I delete people from my contavt list on my phone, just incase I was bothering them. Is not easy as I can never tell if I am being too much or too little.


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sly279
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18 Nov 2019, 2:59 am

My experience is women don’t want to keep talking to guys they’ve rejected. Most just block me the kind ones explain it’s for best before blocking me.

They’re right, it leads to resentment and such, better to cut ties then stay talking.
It’s why a lot of women don’t want to risk dating their friends cause it’ll likely mean not being friends after she decides she doesn’t want a relationship with them.


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CubsBullsBears
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18 Nov 2019, 11:15 am

sly279 wrote:
My experience is women don’t want to keep talking to guys they’ve rejected. Most just block me the kind ones explain it’s for best before blocking me.

They’re right, it leads to resentment and such, better to cut ties then stay talking.
It’s why a lot of women don’t want to risk dating their friends cause it’ll likely mean not being friends after she decides she doesn’t want a relationship with them.
Up until reading that, I felt that maybe girls would see that I'm really just trying to talk to them for the chance of dating them. Regarding the girl from 2 years ago, I did talk to her a few times after that and she didn't sound like she had an issue with me. And when I saw the other girl yesterday, she was nice to me when I came up to her in the lobby and when I said bye to her after the movie(at least in her tone of voice). I think that with people in general, it depends on perception with me.


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Mountain Goat
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18 Nov 2019, 12:31 pm

Be friendly if they are friendly to you. Simple. :)


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