Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

Kitty4670
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,201
Location: California,USA

25 Oct 2019, 12:22 pm

My boyfriend is moving too fast in our relationship. He told me he loves me so much, he also said I completed him. We only known each other for 10 days.


_________________
You are my shining star that shine so bright that guide me to the light, so keep on rockin', cuz That's Rock and Roll


Teach51
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Jan 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,160
Location: Where angels do not fear to tread.

25 Oct 2019, 12:30 pm

That is fast IMO and you need to be cautious. In my life real love has taken many face to face hours together and shared experiences to develop. Some men can manipulate women this way. Take your time and he can say what he wants but actions speak louder than words. Remember please that good men do not ask women for money, bank account numbers or any such thing. If he is a good man you will see it in his deeds. Your instincts are good. It's too fast. You haven't met yet have you?


_________________
My best will just have to be good enough.


rainbowbutterfly
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2009
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 289
Location: California

26 Oct 2019, 1:53 am

While I hate being negative, in my own experience, anyone who believes that they need a lover to complete them is insecure. Or, maybe he is naieve and believes love is like a fantasy movie, when everyone lives happily ever after. Be careful about getting yourself in a situation with marrying or moving in with someone you barely know. If he's not able to readjust his timing to a speed you're more comfortable with after telling him how you feel then he's probably not worth it. From all of the advice I've read and heard from people, relationships either exacerbate problems or cut them in half, depending on the quality of the relationship. Healthy relationships are made from individuals that have a healthy inner foundation (confidence, not being afraid to express yourself, having a sense of purpose in your career or vocation). Though, what's most important is that you pay attention to your intuition and continue to notice and act on how you feel, regardless of what we or anyone else say.



Aspie1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Mar 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,765
Location: United States

26 Oct 2019, 9:15 am

I'm seeing a lot of myself in the OP's new boyfriend (if you could call him that). I, too, feel deeply in love with my first girlfriend after just one date with her. I felt like I met my soulmate, was willing to fully commit to her, and build a life together. Mind you, I wasn't physically attracted to her at all, and honestly, was bored with her most of the time. Her not being attractive was a good thing in my mind, because I found it easier for me to believe that she liked me. But I was still grateful to have her in my life. Like the OP's boyfriend, tried to rush things to get serious as quickly as possible. As expected, she quickly lost all interest in me, to the point of not wanting to dance close at a dance we attended.

While I had the social foresight not to say any of it to her face, I felt all of it in my mind. I was also telling everyone I knew that I had a girlfriend.



RightGalaxy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2008
Age: 59
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,495

06 Dec 2019, 11:06 am

If you haven't had sex already, this means he wants to get to it ASAP even if he doesn't really feel that way. I'm not trying to hurt your feelings but that's what it sounds like. If you can convince yourself that sex means nothing, then you won't feel hurt if the relationship(if it becomes an actual relationship) comes to an end. 10 days is a short time whether you see each other constantly over 10 days or just 3 times in 10 days. When I was a teen, I let a guy string me along for four years, yes!, four years - I was a FOOL!! I saw him a dozen times over a four year period and our dates were just sex. Pathetic, huh? During those four years, he had real relationships - not the one I imagined to have in my own head. What happened is this: When his relationships challenged his ego, he spend time with me (sex only) for an ego boost. His relationships didn't work and were suffering because he wasn't any good. I was the poor sap who paid the price.



XFilesGeek
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2010
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,447
Location: The Oort Cloud

06 Dec 2019, 1:27 pm

In my experience, men who profess their "love" for you super early are:

1. Trying to get you in bed as quickly as possible.

2. Are desperate for a girlfriend, and think they are being "romantic" when they're actually coming across as creepy.

Neither is attractive.


_________________
"If we fail to anticipate the unforeseen or expect the unexpected in a universe of infinite possibilities, we may find ourselves at the mercy of anyone or anything that cannot be programmed, categorized or easily referenced."

-XFG (moderator)


Dog1
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 18 Apr 2019
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 93

06 Dec 2019, 7:24 pm

XFilesGeek wrote:
2. Are desperate for a girlfriend, and think they are being "romantic" when they're actually coming across as creepy.

Neither is attractive.


It might not be desperation for a girlfriend, but his actual true feelings, and if his actual intention is to be romantic and not actually just be creepy, then that would be a good positive thing. :D

Sometimes people just aren't good at expressing themselves even when they try really hard and that isn't their fault.



Kitty4670
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 5,201
Location: California,USA

07 Dec 2019, 3:02 am

I’m not with this guy anymore, we broke up. I’m back with my ex-boyfriend.


_________________
You are my shining star that shine so bright that guide me to the light, so keep on rockin', cuz That's Rock and Roll