Rage and its affect on relationship

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I get very easily irritated when I’m in my own zone and triggered when I’m being asked too many questions and I can’t focus or concentrate. The rage comes very easily. I tend to yell and say things out of anger I won’t remember. When my partner threatens me to leave or actually is about to leave it gets worse and I get physical in order to stop them. I wouldn’t hit my partner but I would do anything in my power to stop them. I can’t handle the thought of them being gone when I’m unprepared and nothing so serious (sadly only from my point of view) happened. Has anyone experienced something similar? Any help is greatly appreciated. I’m lost in my own world overthinking and feeling guilty and ashamed.

I would suggest researching anger management or regulating your emotions.

Is there anything that you can do when you start to feel enraged so that you can calm yourself down before you start yelling?

In a moment of calm and contentment, you could approach your partner and explain very bluntly like you just did here.

Maybe suggest that instead of approaching you and just asking questions or talking, they start with something like "Andrea, I'd like to talk to you when you get to a good stopping point."

I haven't personally experienced this scenario, but I do get overwhelmed very easily.

I agree with this. I'd also recommend getting psych help. Counseling &/or meds might be of help. The reason I'm going that extreme is cuz the rage & yelling get so bad that the partner is considering leaving & you mentioned getting physical with your partner Andrea. This sounds like an abusive relationship but it's great that you realize you have issues & are wanting to work on them. Us Aspies do tend to have meltdowns sometimes & perhaps this is the way your meltdowns manifest. Maybe you can do like that1weirdgrrrl suggested & talk to your partner about this so they can try to help minimize the cause of your "meltdowns". Working on this together with your partner would show your partner that your trying so they may be less likely to wanna leave & you can work on this better if you have help.