I have a very busy life and need a sufficient amount of time to myself to unwind. I'm working and looking for more work (which is a full time job in its own right), in addition to managing some personal writing projects, meditation/Kung Fu, practicing public speaking, and weekly exercise. I usually can only handle socializing with other people once or twice a week. I'm happy with my friendship life because friends are understanding when you need time to yourself to unwind, but I feel a lot of pressure from societal expectations of what a relationship with a significant other should be like. You're expected to want to see your significant other nearly every single day, and to want to text them several hours everyday. Maybe with the right person, I wouldn't mind seeing them nearly every single day, because I've had that comfort with 1 or 2 people before. But, it's the whole texting thing that I'm wondering about how I'm going to be able to handle.
At the same time I look forward to hearing texts from friends everyday, I also enjoy it more when the texting sessions are brief. I once dated a guy who I felt excited to be around at first, and I felt excited to hear from him. (He was also on the spectrum.) He asked if he was pestering me with all his texts and I said "no." But later on, I realized I was bothered by it and I failed to communicate that to him. The texting got annoying when trying to search and apply for jobs because it reduced my efficiency with getting tasks done, and he was texting me while he was at his work. I wonder why people around me always have to feel like they have to be on their cell phones every single time of the day. Being on the phone all the time totally takes people away from the present moment and I even heard a news story about increases in hospital visits, due to people walking into things when on their phones outside. With all the texting and talking going on around my parents everything became too much and I got overloaded. Anyway, I'm wondering how I'm going to handle that issue when dating. Does the only solution involve dating either another introvert, or someone who's secure enough to be able to understand and handle the fact that I actually also need some personal space (emotionally and physically)?
21 Dec 2019, 10:36 pm
