I believe my ex was an Aspie

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It's been 4 months since I broke up with what was supposed to have been my best boyfriend. My hairdresser spoke to me 6 months ago, when we were having communication problems, and she told me he might be an Aspie. She was married to a man in the spectrum for 30+ years and her son has severe autism.
I'm crushed that I had to end 3+ years with my ex because I truly thought he was a great guy and gentleman in the beginning.
I thought his mother, who lived with him and tried to control everything, was the problem, but as time passed I realized that he didn't function like other people on relationships. No amount of begging and pleading could get him to cuddle with me it even pick up the phone once a week. He was also completely consumed by star wars, marvel and competitive display at the age of 50!! !
I felt more like a buddy than a girlfriend or object of his desire.
I'm just disappointed because he was a gentleman and we seemed to have so much in common in the beginning, but my daughter saw something different in him from the berry beginning...
Afraid to date again!

I need to clarify that he barely called me once a week and he was obsessed with cosplay competition, preferring to spend thousands on costumes instead of getting his damaged teeth fixed...

Nobody can tell anything about this without knowing him. Many people are into such kind of stuff. It's a rather rare thing for people on the spectrum. But you left him so what's your problem now?

I guess the OP misses this guy.

Does it matter anymore?

Pattern.

I find this post rather offensive personally. Whether he is an aspie or not is irrelevant, you dated, it didn't work that's life.
The aspies I know are meticulous about their appearance and health, so rotten teeth is not essentially an aspie thing. Perhaps you would like to explain why you needed to post all these negative things on a forum for people on the spectrum?
Actually there are many positive traits unique to aspies that people tend to ignore. These are
honesty, integrity, loyalty, often an exceptional analytical and intellectual ability and a complete lack of guile and deception. I'm an aspie groupy.

Come on people, you lot haven't been very welcoming.

I certainly hope the OP doesn’t have an axe to grind against Aspies.

C'mon, implying that a relationship with an aspie was doomed from the start is insulting.

The OP seemed to want all of her boyfriend's attention and money to be directed only toward her (and not his hobbies or his mother), and that she allowed other people to talk her out of that relationship.

But hey, if she can't stand to be with a man who will spend time and money on other things, then that may explain why she's not in a relationship with her daughter's father.  Better for her to seek someone who will give her everything he has and do whatever she tells him

Looking at the OP again, I can see what you mean.

Hi Joe2019

He didn't show you any desire, maybe he wasn't hetero. Maybe he was gay or ace?

Why was he "supposed to be your best boyfriend"?

If you are with a man for 3 years who refuses to ever cuddle with you and can't make time for one phone call a week, then ask yourself what does that say about YOU? Why did you decide to be in that relationship for so long? Why not be alone or look for someone else? Do you have low self esteem? Do you not think you deserve a cuddle once in a while? Or did you wait for his mother to die? So you know all the things that were wrong with him, but it doesn't serve you anymore, because he's out of your life already. The only thing that can help you now is figure out what was wrong with you to stay in that unsatisfying relationship, and work on those things, so you can find better relationships.

It also sounds you would prefer his mother was the reason for his behaviour? I would find it disturbing if a mother forbade her adult son to spend time with his girlfriend or told him what hobbies to pursue.

Not sure this is a legit thread , let's wait and see.

There are many reasons why a man may not be romantically or sexually attracted to a woman -- reasons other than HE may be gay or HE may be ace or HE may be on the autistic spectrum. In fact, there may be nothing wrong with HIM at all!

We know only her (the OP's) side of the story, and the only indication of her background being that she has a daughter.  I know very few men who have become exclusively involved with women who have children by previous relationships, unless those children are already grown.

We know that she listens to the advice of her hairdresser, whether that advice has any merit or not.

We know that she considered one man to be her "best boyfriend", even though he showed little or no romantic/sexual interest in her. What made him her "best boyfriend" if he would talk to her only once a week? If he was her "best boyfriend", then what kind of man was her "second-best boyfriend" (assuming she had one)?

This is just a wild guess, but was the relationship solely in her own mind?

If you had such a poor relationship, why did you stick with it for 3 years?

“Who’s the more foolish: the fool or the fool who follows him?”

Why do you insinuate being ace or gay would be "something wrong" with him?

He is 50, so maybe her daughter isn't so young anymore either. Anyway at that age I don't think he should be too picky about whether someone has children or not.