He asked me out after his girlfriend dumped him

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Summer_Twilight
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17 Feb 2020, 6:50 pm

Hi:
There is a man who I have been acquainted with for a while who is a roommate of another good friend of mine that I have a crush on. My friend attempted to set us up last summer and he started talking to me via social media one minute and then next, I started dating a time friend of his.

I got a message on Facebook from him that she dumped him because she could not understand his autism though they had known each other for a while. He said he wants to give me a chance and ask me out. However, he just had his heartbroken and I don't want to jump into a relationship too soon. Plus, I barely know him and would rather take time getting to know him first before I go out.

Any thoughts?



Sweetleaf
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17 Feb 2020, 6:58 pm

Are you sure he had his heart broken?...seems if that was the case he wouldn't already be wanting to meet someone new. Maybe he was more disappointed things didn't work out but not to the extent of being heart-broken.

Aside from that if you are not comfortable meeting in person yet, just tell him you'd rather talk a bit more before going out. Or if you would potentially like to meet him but you don't want to jump into a relationship, you could express willingness to meet but just be clear its to get to know him and your not agreeing to be his girlfriend yet.

I don't think its super weird he's interested in you so soon after his break up, my boyfriend met me shortly after ending things with his ex and things have worked out great between us.


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Snowy Owl
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17 Feb 2020, 7:04 pm

Go for it.

The "not ready" trope needs to be judged on a case by case basis. He could be saying it because he wants to see what is out there, or he could be saying it because he can't decide if he wants be vulnerable or intimate. I think the term they like to use in romantic comedies is emotionally available, but that is almost a calling card of Aspies. I would go out with him, and if he sucks, do one of those strong women Beyonce things where you walk out confident and waiters drop other people's meals. I don't really know that much about Beyonce. Maybe don't ruin other people's meals, but DO have a fun time. It couldn't hurt.



Summer_Twilight
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18 Feb 2020, 7:59 am

@Sweetleaf, he contacted me right after his girlfriend dumped him and that he was very upset with her. He also asked me out and I do think he's very cute. Yes, I would like to go out with him but not because he is upset and needs to feel better and certainly not if he is just lonely. However, I would like to get to know him, as a friend first as he seems like a nice person. At the moment though, I have enough on my plate as it is.