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Kitty4670
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17 Feb 2020, 4:04 pm

Does it mean anything if you stay friends with your ex-boyfriend? I never friends with my ex before.



AnneOleson
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17 Feb 2020, 9:12 pm

Nothing wrong with staying friends, if the person is legitimate. If they want to be “friends” so they can borrow money or sext, it’s not good. But if you had enough in common to be a couple, those same qualities can keep you being friends.



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18 Feb 2020, 9:33 am

I would sooner be exiled from my homeland than engage in friendly relations with my ex-wife. Had I known from the first what I know of her now, I would have never initiated contact with so alien a species.


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IsabellaLinton
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18 Feb 2020, 9:44 am

In your case kitty, it's different. You never even met your ex. It was an online relationship, as far as I know.

Other members' experiences with exes are probably quite different, because the relationships were in person.

Ex 1: (Ended 1997) We have no contact outside of legal matters.

Ex 2: (Ended 1999) We have no contact.

Ex 3: (Ended 2002) We remain best friends after 20 years.

It all depends on the people.


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kraftiekortie
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18 Feb 2020, 9:53 am

I have quite a few "exes" from various degrees of relationships. I always seek to remain friends with people I used to be romantically involved----but, most of the time, we just lose contact.

1. My ex-fiancée isn't with us any more. She took her own life in 1998.

2. Neither is someone I saw for a while in the 1980s. She passed from diabetic complications in 2001.

3. As far as I know, the woman I was seeing right before I met my wife is still alive. She would be in her 70s now.
Our "breakup" wasn't on good terms.

4. I know that a person I saw in the late 1980s-early 1990s is still alive. She would be 54 years old today. I have
no contact with her. I acted immature with her the last time I saw her. I was embarrassed.

5. A person I had memorable flings with in the early 90s was 80 years old last December. We haven't spoken to
each other in years. Nothing acrimonious; we just lost touch.

6. A person I wanted to marry when I was in my early 20s, and who is 1 year older than me---I don't know where
she is.



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21 Feb 2020, 7:49 pm

People frequently say, "we can still be friends" when they break up, regardless of whether or not they actually want to be. I think it would be difficult. If you really loved them, it would be hard not to fall back in love. It's difficult, that's for sure.


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01 Mar 2020, 5:11 pm

Nope. My ex broke off all contact with me without explaining why about three years ago.

I haven't heard anything from her since. She was not the type who would cheat, so I don't know
what went wrong between us.

The majority of my "exes" (quotation marks intentional) were from middle school or high school. I assume all of them have moved on, don't remember me (which IMO, is a good thing), and/or are married by now.

In fact, one of my MS "exes" got married one year into college! :)

However, after the 2016 breakup, I met my current girlfriend almost immediately. We were in a class together and one day during a class session, she had a seizure which of course scared the crap out of everyone.

She was treated on-site and later released. I asked an EMT what had happened to her and the EMT said, "She had a seizure." I waited a few days and asked her if she wanted to join me for coffee. She said yes and after class, we went out for coffee at a shop near our school.

As we waited for our orders, she revealed her epilepsy to me and I followed suit but also mentioning that I have a more severe form of epilepsy.


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01 Mar 2020, 8:30 pm

My most recent ex took her own life, so I'm not so sure we could be friends, at the most it would be me tolerating her haunting me.


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02 Mar 2020, 12:51 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
My most recent ex took her own life, so I'm not so sure we could be friends, at the most it would be me tolerating her haunting me.
Me & my 1st ex tried remaining friends since we were best friends before we got together. However the issues that caused us to break up also ruined our friendship. I was very protective of her while we were together partly cuz she had some various issues she was dealing with & because I had BAD anxiety & OCD that caused me to majorly worry about her. I became controlling as a result & that caused major problems within our romantic relationship & our friendship. Shortly after we quit being friends, I saw her bragging online about how she drank so much she needed to get her stomach pumped & I flipped out & slashed my arm 9x. I spent the next 5 years seeing psychs & taking meds. I'm alot more stable in my current relationship but that's partly cuz I'm on anxiety & OCD medication, & she's also kinda needy & clingy & has different issues that won't cause her to suddenly flip out & do something majorly stupid & dangerous. I really hope both my exes are OK thou I'm sure they're both much better off without me in their lives anymore & moved on quite a long time ago & never think of me.


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AnonymousAnonymous
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02 Mar 2020, 6:04 pm

nick007 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
My most recent ex took her own life, so I'm not so sure we could be friends, at the most it would be me tolerating her haunting me.
Me & my 1st ex tried remaining friends since we were best friends before we got together. However the issues that caused us to break up also ruined our friendship. I was very protective of her while we were together partly cuz she had some various issues she was dealing with & because I had BAD anxiety & OCD that caused me to majorly worry about her. I became controlling as a result & that caused major problems within our romantic relationship & our friendship. Shortly after we quit being friends, I saw her bragging online about how she drank so much she needed to get her stomach pumped & I flipped out & slashed my arm 9x. I spent the next 5 years seeing psychs & taking meds. I'm alot more stable in my current relationship but that's partly cuz I'm on anxiety & OCD medication.


I, despite being in my own relationship, can relate to this. Being unemployed has taken a toll on my anxiety and the last counseling firm that worked with me closed my file about six months ago.

I am still looking for a new counseling firm not only to help me control my anxiety, but in the name of love. My girlfriend does have anxiety issues too, but has been seeing a counselor since last summer.


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03 Mar 2020, 11:30 pm

You never met him in person, so he doesn't count as a boyfriend or an ex.



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04 Mar 2020, 9:28 am

Stardust Parade wrote:
You never met him in person, so he doesn't count as a boyfriend or an ex.
Some people have unusual ideas regarding the definitions of "boyfriend", "girlfriend", and "relationship".


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Kitty4670
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04 Mar 2020, 9:44 pm

I am still friends with my ex, it’s easy to talk to him, no romantic feelings, we broke up a little over 2 months ago.