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Ending up with nothing after a night out?

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Jamesy
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02 Jun 2020, 3:15 pm

I hear a lot that when people get drunk at bars/nightclubs quite often that they end up getting sex or wake up with a hangover in a strangers bed. On the weekends I get drunk at bars but never get sex or wake up in a girls bed after not remembering what happened the night before.

Yes I am 30 and realise a lot of girls are 18 and 19 who go to the clubs/bars I attend so they are younger than me.

Can I have your opinions on this?



Fnord
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02 Jun 2020, 4:09 pm

A thirty-something man goes to bars where 18-year old women hang out, and expects to go home with one of them after getting drunk ... typical middle-age crisis fantasy.

Get over it.  Down that road lies loneliness and frustration.  Once you're past your mid-twenties, your best hope is with a widow or a divorcée, because you're simply not going to attract a woman ten years younger than you unless you're incredibly handsome, incredibly wealthy, or incredibly talented. Just ask any 30-something man on this website who cannot get a date.


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Last edited by Fnord on 02 Jun 2020, 4:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

kraftiekortie
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02 Jun 2020, 4:11 pm

Most people just get hangovers, not lovers.

I wouldn’t want to end up in a stranger’s bed with no memory of what occurred the night before.



The_Face_of_Boo
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02 Jun 2020, 4:13 pm

Fnord wrote:
A thirty-something man goes to bars where 18-year old women hang out, and expects to go home with one of them after getting drunk ... typical middle-age crisis fantasy.

Get over it.  Down that road lies loneliness and frustration.


...and troubles.



CubsBullsBears
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02 Jun 2020, 4:18 pm

Try to find some place where people closer to your age frequent. I once told my mom “I wish there was a support group for singles”

“Yes there is. It’s called the bar”


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Jamesy
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02 Jun 2020, 4:47 pm

Fnord wrote:
A thirty-something man goes to bars where 18-year old women hang out, and expects to go home with one of them after getting drunk ... typical middle-age crisis fantasy.

Get over it.  Down that road lies loneliness and frustration.  Once you're past your mid-twenties, your best hope is with a widow or a divorcée, because you're simply not going to attract a woman ten years younger than you unless you're incredibly handsome, incredibly wealthy, or incredibly talented. Just ask any 30-something man on this website who cannot get a date.





Yet I have no problem attracting women 30 years older than me which is a much bigger age gap than 10 years. :roll:



Fnord
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02 Jun 2020, 5:54 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
A thirty-something man goes to bars where 18-year old women hang out, and expects to go home with one of them after getting drunk ... typical middle-age crisis fantasy.  Get over it.  Down that road lies loneliness and frustration.  Once you're past your mid-twenties, your best hope is with a widow or a divorcée, because you're simply not going to attract a woman ten years younger than you unless you're incredibly handsome, incredibly wealthy, or incredibly talented. Just ask any 30-something man on this website who cannot get a date.
Yet I have no problem attracting women 30 years older than me which is a much bigger age gap than 10 years.
Cougars ... :roll: ... just as bad as "Dirty Old Men".  The conversations used to go something like...

SHE: "Looking for a good time?"
ME: "Why, do you have a daughter?"

That usually ended it right there, unless she was really drunk and/or obnoxious.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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02 Jun 2020, 6:28 pm

Fnord wrote:
A thirty-something man goes to bars where 18-year old women hang out, and expects to go home with one of them after getting drunk ... typical middle-age crisis fantasy.

I'd imagine it would depend on who the 30 year-old man is, and what the 18 year-old woman is after. I'm under the impression that there are some 18 year-old women for whom a fling with a mature, experienced 30 year-old who's got his life together would be quite appealing. I don't get the impression that the OP fits that description, but nonetheless.

Fnord wrote:
Get over it.  Down that road lies loneliness and frustration.  Once you're past your mid-twenties, your best hope is with a widow or a divorcée, because you're simply not going to attract a woman ten years younger than you unless you're incredibly handsome, incredibly wealthy, or incredibly talented.

Just ask any 30-something man on this website who cannot get a date.

Why a widow or a divorcée? Why not a woman who's simply his own age? It's not like all 30 year-old women have been married before.

And from what I've seen, most of the 30-something men on this website who can't get dates have been plagued by that issue since long before they entered their 30s, so that isn't evidence of the fact that dating gets more difficult in your 30s, it's evidence of the fact that autistic men disproportionately struggle to get dates.



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02 Jun 2020, 6:41 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I hear a lot that when people get drunk at bars/nightclubs quite often that they end up getting sex or wake up with a hangover in a strangers bed. On the weekends I get drunk at bars but never get sex or wake up in a girls bed after not remembering what happened the night before.

Yes I am 30 and realise a lot of girls are 18 and 19 who go to the clubs/bars I attend so they are younger than me.



My opinion is that you're very lucky.
Why would you want to wake up in a stranger's bed after a sexual encounter -- without even knowing the details?

That sounds like a lawsuit, a prison term, or a lifelong child support obligation waiting to happen.


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quite an extreme
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02 Jun 2020, 6:58 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Yes I am 30 and realise a lot of girls are 18 and 19 who go to the clubs/bars I attend so they are younger than me.


Average girls care the age of a guy a lot less then men do but some totally do as well. But not even few are just after the most dominant guys around or the most special ones.


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02 Jun 2020, 9:50 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Fnord wrote:
A thirty-something man goes to bars where 18-year old women hang out, and expects to go home with one of them after getting drunk ... typical middle-age crisis fantasy.

I'd imagine it would depend on who the 30 year-old man is, and what the 18 year-old woman is after. I'm under the impression that there are some 18 year-old women for whom a fling with a mature, experienced 30 year-old who's got his life together would be quite appealing. I don't get the impression that the OP fits that description, but nonetheless./color]
Where I'm from it's not that uncommon for women in their early 20s & even later teens to be into guys in their 30s. Some of those guys are real losers too. What really ticks me off is when a 16 year-old girl gets pregnant by some guy in his 30s & he ends up moving in with her & her parents & he just mooches off them


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martianprincess
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03 Jun 2020, 8:43 pm

I thought that stereotype of going out and waking up in a stranger's bed was just in tv shows.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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03 Jun 2020, 8:47 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Fnord wrote:
A thirty-something man goes to bars where 18-year old women hang out, and expects to go home with one of them after getting drunk ... typical middle-age crisis fantasy.

I'd imagine it would depend on who the 30 year-old man is, and what the 18 year-old woman is after. I'm under the impression that there are some 18 year-old women for whom a fling with a mature, experienced 30 year-old who's got his life together would be quite appealing. I don't get the impression that the OP fits that description, but nonetheless.

Fnord wrote:
Get over it.  Down that road lies loneliness and frustration.  Once you're past your mid-twenties, your best hope is with a widow or a divorcée, because you're simply not going to attract a woman ten years younger than you unless you're incredibly handsome, incredibly wealthy, or incredibly talented.

Just ask any 30-something man on this website who cannot get a date.

Why a widow or a divorcée? Why not a woman who's simply his own age? It's not like all 30 year-old women have been married before.

And from what I've seen, most of the 30-something men on this website who can't get dates have been plagued by that issue since long before they entered their 30s, so that isn't evidence of the fact that dating gets more difficult in your 30s, it's evidence of the fact that autistic men disproportionately struggle to get dates.


ford appears to be living in the 19th century, when the only single women over 30 were widows, divorcees or Emily Dickinson.


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that1weirdgrrrl
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03 Jun 2020, 9:24 pm

But... who doesn't love Emily Dickinson??


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03 Jun 2020, 9:38 pm

.. a date does not entitle you to anything. There are definitely girls who will use you just so they have something to do. But most are decent. Either way if you get lucky great, but if you don't - them's the breaks!



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04 Jun 2020, 4:40 am

Those guys don't only get drunk. They also interact with women in the bar in ways that increase their odds of ending up in bed with someone. Unless they'd be too insecure or inhibited to make a move if they were sober, they'd probably be capable of doing the same without the alcohol.