I wish I could fall in love with

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My goals as I have my crushes.

Oh the things I could accomplish in a record amount of time!

I've only really had/have one crush & it's not very realistic. Some suspect I'm delusional so if I was in love with some goals the way I am in love with her, I'd be majorly focused on goals that were next to impossible for me to achieve. I don't know if things would be much different thou cuz I never really had major goals.

I am like this and it's really not any more productive than doing it with crushes.

I dunnnnno.. I’d do anything for the few crushes I’ve had & love. If I could shift to doing anything to achieve my goals instead of procrastinating on everything I think I’d be a lot more productive.

That's a slippery slope IMO, I work really hard on a software engineering internship in part to avoid the social life people seem to think I'm no good at. I might make a great deal more money in my lifetime as a result.

Do I regret the hell out of any MINUTE I spent away from the few people in the world who actually know me? Yeah. Dude that is intractable pain I can't do anything with, as evidenced by the growing consensus on here that none of us should chase our crushes.

You seem better than I am at keeping up with humanity. I hope you can see more value in that.

tl;dr I did that. It's an insane amount of work.

During normal times I work a lot. Minimum full time but also side jobs and the past few Summers a weekend job. I’m still an apprentice and have a lot of speed to gain, but over the last several months I’ve gotten Quite Good & that should start to make me Muchos dinero. I know how to buckle down and put in the work required to increase my income, too.

But I don’t isolate away from all friends even when I’m working 70 hours/wk. I’ll still get to the beach and see dozens of friends usually a few times a week. I still keep in touch with my best and closest friends via text/messenger. And also with my God kids. And I see people here and there. Also try to make time for sports/fitness, and once I have my motorcycle back I’ll make time to ride it, and I might try to get out kiteboarding a handful of times this Summer if I can swing it - but that might be if I only work full time and take weekends off va ply my trade to stack cash towards goals. Challenging to balance. I need & want money for things, but also want to enjoy life a little, too. At least I’m now far enough along in my apprenticeship that I earn an above average wage And can pull more on side jobs, so with work being more lucrative with better skills and speed I can make $ faster and then justify taking a day or two off on weekends where and there more easily.

I chased all of my major crushes. And 3 of them are my closest friends. While none of them are my partner, I love them all and wouldn’t not want them in my life as they are. Life has worked out.. interestingly that way; I may not have a partner in crime, but I have truly wonderful friends. Certainly better than not having either.

I keep up with humanity/social life/sex life etc just fine. Although covid has changed everything for the time being - social/sex life are on pause. I’ll get more exercise and sleep and focus on some other goals vs stay at the beach until sunset or go out late night to get laid.

"I wish I could fall in love with"...myself. <sigh>
Oh, wait,
I already have.

How do you make time to do all that stuff goldfish on top of working 70 hours a week Do you take drugs so you don't sleep I sometimes worked 10 hour nights at my 2nd job(not counting my hour lunch break) & I sometimes worked 6 nights a week when we were allowed overtime & my department was shorthanded. It was retail so I worked nights instead of days. When I was working 60 hours a week I barely had time to do anything other than sleep when I wasn't at work. The job was very physically demanding thou(floor cleaning & other custodial type stuff). Plus I was dealing with a bad depression that I was taking meds for. I had to catch up on sleep some during my one off night when I was working those longer hours & I would spend time on forums the rest of that night.

70h work week in the Summer time is peak, not average. Probably more like 55-60 is more realistic, but I have pulled 70h weeks and the most I ever clocked at a job was 98 hours in a week when I was installing TV’s in a stadium renovation before the Winter Olympics in 2010 - I was literally passing out standing up on the train omw home while trying to hold my mtn bike up that I had to bring with me to roll the last 4km home because I physically couldn’t walk it. Back then I was taking a low dose of Dextroamphetamine (10mg) so that helped. But I haven’t taken it for years.

Coffee, water, healthy diet, a little weed and beer in the evenings. Staying fairly fit helps with stamina a LOT. I’ve probably gained 10lbs or fat during corona time off But I’m still only 199lbs & 13.5%bf and at 6’2” tall that’s not bad. Even being a little flabby and out of shape I could literally put my shoes on and go for a 10 mile jog rn, or completes a Tough Mudder course - physical fitness gives you a LOT more strength and stamina to do things.

I’ve hardly worked out in a year due to physio rehab exercises and not wanting to reverse healing by overworking muscles and joints beyond the physical job I do. I managed to force myself to leave the beach earlier evenings last Summer than normal (Sunset) so I could get a bit more sleep & only stayed til Sunset on weekends. Summer time is SO BUSY with work and play because all the extra money is there to be made in the Summer AND all the fun things to do happen then, too, so I end up sleeping 3-4h/night for days and days on end and then crashing hard and burning on a Friday night, sleeping in Saturday morning, and then getting up and going to work on some side job with flexible hours.

Just to be able to ride my motorcycle last Summer I’d drive home from work and swap vehicles and ride my bike to physio in the late afternoon, then weather permitting I’d hit the highway and rip to the beach, hangout with friends for a while and then ride home around dusk-ish or so.. as my licence doesn’t permit me to ride after dark. So sometimes I’d drive 100kms or so and then ride another 120kms or so the same day, + work, + 480 stairs at the beach.. I rode about 500kms in 4 days after work one stretch last Summer - and riding a motorcycle is definitely more physical than sitting on my ass driving my car.. my legs were pretty worked by the end of that day!

Last Summer especially, a lot of my time at the beach involved me making it there and then promptly passing out on my blanket for a nap in the Sun because I was exhausted. Better to nap at the beach than on a couch!

A few Summers ago the last time I was kiting there was a week where for 6 days in a row I had my gear in my car and would drive over 100kms from work to to the kite beach, kiteboard on How Sound in Squamish with MAJESTIC views until Sunset, snap a photo of the Sunset over the mountains, drive back down to the city over 100kms away and do the 480 stairs down to the beach in time to snap a photo of the Sunset over the islands/ocean - double Sunset! And then make the 45km drive home to pass out.. I physically could not safely manage to do it for a 7th day in a row, though. Just the drive up the mountains would have been dangerous af due to exhaustion!

Also, I don’t watch tv. Like almost ever. I have a bit recently during corona time, but when you don’t have a tv watching habit there’s plenty more time for work and play.

The first couple years of my apprenticeship were exhausting.. very very low income for anyone with a car on the road, even with cheap rent from family. I literally didn’t earn enough money to pay for parking at my day job and Had To work weekends to keep my car on the road. Also, as a starting apprentice my skills and speed were not exactly up to the level where I could ply my trade to make $$. NOW I’m actually getting Quite Skilled at what I do and will be able to complete side jobs far better in a fraction of the time - I’m still not Fast and have a lot to work on in terms of speed, but the quality of my work is right up there with some of the best in the city that have been doing this for 45-50 years. (I’ve trained under them and I literally have an academic education in quality control so this is not an exaggeration.) From this point forward I should be able to earn myself a lot more money in a lot less time and effort so should be able to strike a new balance between stacking cash And freeing up more time to do a few of the things that I want to, like taking a day off to go kiting again, or a day off to ride motorcycles - especially now that there are 6 of us in the family who’ve bought bikes in the last year or so so far.

Just depends how you choose to spend your time, energy, and money. Physical fitness helps, too.

And one more thing: Utilizing the single most powerful force in the Universe to get things done.. Love. Whenever I am exhausted and doing Hard work in awful conditions and I start to think “Why am I doing this? I don’t need the money that bad..” (especially the Winter I spent doing ironwork 45’ up building the roof of a new warehouse by the river in freezing sideways rain..) all I have to do is close my eyes and picture my youngest God daughter when she was a baby, because I would do A N Y T H I N G for her, even hard work I don’t want to do for myself, and that gives me the energy to just carry on and push through whatever’s I have to do hour by hour, minute by minute, until it’s done. Alternatively I might think of another friend or family member I love & a gift I’d like to be able to spoil them with - I find it much more motivating to do things for others than think about my own goals for money.

Soooo, basically, just decide to do it & then just f*****g do The Thing. Whatever your thing is that day.. extra work/making money, riding motorcycles, kiteboarding, visiting a friend, whatever - where there’s a will there’s a way. Just get it done! You can sleep when you’re dead.

You’ll hear the same advice from Arnold Schwarzenegger or Tony Robbins.. got goals? Work harder! Tired? “Sleep faster!” says Arnie. Anyone with things to accomplish doesn’t waste 10h/night sleeping. They work, and work, and work some more. If you’re passionate enough about whatever your goal is, whether long term or for the day, you’ll find the energy to push through and just do it. Sleep can wait.

Edit: I suppose one more motivator, that’s somewhat more aligned with this sub forum, is sex. Like sometimes I’ll just remind myself that the sooner I get this work done the sooner I can dedicate some time to a hot hookup. That also helps get things done.