Afraid I'm Going to Die Alone

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It seems like pretty much everyone I know is in a relationship, or at the very least has been in a relationship before. I still have not gotten past the third date or anything lasting more than a few weeks with another human being, and at my age it's getting weird. I don't know what I'm doing trying to date or talk to people on apps, it always goes nowhere and fizzles out, I don't really have the energy or the emotional stamina for it anymore, and now with this virus I don't even have the option of trying, who knows how long this pandemic is going to last, I can't help but be jealous of people who have an SO to go home to during this crisis. What is the difference between them and me?

I've never been in love or had a real two-way connection with another person. My fantasies are becoming more mundane, literally all I want is someone to cuddle and watch a movie with, or wake up next to in the morning, I've never experienced this and at this point it's getting harder and harder to imagine. I've been alone for so long I don't even know how it would work. I don't want to imagine it anymore because I'm just torturing myself.

I'm lucky in a lot of ways, I have a wonderful extended family, as well as a good stable job. I also have friends now thankfully, there was a point where I could not imagine this, but there are people in my life that I've known for a few years now, it still feels confusing and stressful to maintain these relationships at times but I feel like this is one area I've succeeded in life and I wouldn't trade the stress for being friendless again. The idea of a romantic relationship however feels like a distant mountain compared to all that.

Don't force the relationship thing - I found in my instance that it helped just to relax and love would find me when it knocked... it was unexpected when it happened yet something told me that I was going to find it.

Are you straight, gay or no particular preference by the way? There have apparently been one or two cases where people met their "other half" on this forum - by discussing mutual interests rather than having dating in mind.

My stepfather got married to my mom at the age of 41! So there's hope still...

I just realized I should have posted this in Love and Dating.

I met my BF when I was least expecting it - although I was looking but hadn't achieved much in the line of success. He was actually involved with someone else fr about a year at the time we met but they split up about two months later and one Friday evening while relaxing at my flat with a friend, he suddenly pitched up there with all his belongings in his car and thus we began the relationship which we'd been discussing for some time, ever since we found the special mutual chemistry the moment we met.

Jakki is also right - it's not always "love at first sight" but friendship based on similar interests as well as the difficult-to-define wow factor.

I can move this to L&D for you - it's probably better off there.