Catch-22

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I discovered from talking to various women online and in person that women expect men my age to be experienced "in the bedroom". What they have all told me is that they don't want to date a man whom they would have to teach everything to. In other words, no woman wants a 40-year-old virgin.

The older I've gotten, the more the gap grew between the experience I have and the experience women want from a man my age. And the more that gap widens, the less women want anything to do with me. And of course I can never gain this experience because no woman will date me because I don't already have experience. Hence the Catch-22. And I'm pretty sure I passed the point of no return in this regards many years ago.

The only exception I could find to this rule lies with women who want to wait for marriage for religious reasons. But none of those women would touch an atheist like myself with a 10 foot pole.

You might be focusing on the wrong problems.

- No woman is going to know how sexually-experienced you are in the bedroom.

Many women just want someone decent to be with (the intelligent ones) and they could care less about sex.

Question: How old do you look in appearance?

It will painfully apparent after one trip to the bedroom.

Its not a hard rule, but people generally guess that I'm 10 years younger than my actual age, give or take a few years.

I'm not sure if people think I'm younger because of my looks or my voice.

I can't just lie about my age. What will I do if things get serious? Do I continue to lie for the duration of the relationship? Or just tell her I've been lying to her all along?

Dating sites filter matches by age. Many women just put in a cutoff age and the site prevents them from ever seeing profiles or receiving messages from anyone over that age.

There aren't many quality women who are still single, as evidenced by the replies I frequently receive from single women. I mean think about it: why would a woman who is likable and who isn't overly demanding remain single?

Yeah the “I don’t want to have to teach... bla bla” is something I heard/read a lot.... as if there are clones out there programmed by the same entity to repeat this very same sentence .

I don't really think experience in bed is that important.
What I've learned over the years is to spend time before and after the sex, foreplay and afterplay if you will. That is usually more important to women, so can be difficult for men to understand.
There is some literature on sex technique, but I don't personally find it very useful. If she likes say doggy style or cowgirl, she will make you know, and it's not hard to figure out how to do it her way.
And you shouldn't always do it her way. Sex is a conversation, where you're as important as her.

/Mats

There are websites with instructional videos for that. Make sure your hand is on the pen, and that it's squeezing ink onto paper instead of the other thing.

Well, I've talked to a lot of women who've said they don't want to date anyone they'd have have to teach. But I've never came across a woman who told me to come back after spending a weekend on pornhub.

You should find a woman who is into intellectual things.....

Plus, dress decently and keep your hair neat.