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minervx
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26 Dec 2011, 4:08 pm

i hear a lot of complaints of women on here being harrassed or annoyed by guys on here trying to pursue them.

if a guy really thinks that a woman who posts on an internet forum who lives 1000 miles away, who (even if they stalked posts) they barely know, is their soul mate, thats pathetic and they really need to go outside and meet people.



Moog
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26 Dec 2011, 4:17 pm

minervx wrote:
i hear a lot of complaints of women on here being harrassed or annoyed by guys on here trying to pursue them.

if a guy really thinks that a woman who posts on an internet forum who lives 1000 miles away, who (even if they stalked posts) they barely know, is their soul mate, thats pathetic and they really need to go outside and meet people.


I've formed a few genuinely awesome relationships through WP, as have other people I know, that we've then gone on to make into 'real life' (as if it is so distinct anymore) relationships. So... I feel rather offended by your post.

If members are having problems with harassment from other members, please contact a moderator.


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Kenjuudo
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26 Dec 2011, 4:36 pm

Moog wrote:
If members are having problems with harassment from other members, please contact a moderator.
This.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Dec 2011, 5:00 pm

I've witnessed two wp members who were about more than 5000 miles apart yet they've met each other for real and got married, it was a thread of mine that did the initial butterfly effect O_o.


And some of those who are over-complaining about getting too much creep attention are probably boasting indirectly.



OneStepBeyond
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26 Dec 2011, 5:12 pm

i think the majority of guys on here are very respectful and unharassy
but maybe other women get more of other attention, i dpnt know



The_Face_of_Boo
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26 Dec 2011, 5:13 pm

I am a self-proclaimed WP creep.

Gawd knows how many messages titled things like "my own NSFW pics" or "my shower photos" I've sent during my presence on WP.



OneStepBeyond
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26 Dec 2011, 5:18 pm

just noticed i have a pm from you...should i be worriedr



sunshower
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26 Dec 2011, 5:45 pm

I don't think messaging women on here obsessively means the guy is a creep, I think it means that they are lonely.

I wonder if boo refers to me here or not, even if he doesn't mean me I am probably implicated because I know I have said I have not liked being messaged by guys on here to that purpose, but to be clear I don't think there is anything wrong with the guys - they are not creeps or anything, I'm sure they are wonderful people, it's my own issues and my own problems that are at fault.


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Vigilans
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26 Dec 2011, 5:50 pm

I seem to get a lot of PMs from women asking me for "n00d pics nao or gtfo", "hey baby... come around here often?", "nice pants. I bet they'd look better on my bedroom floor" and "y u no sex me?"

What should I do?


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Kenjuudo
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26 Dec 2011, 5:52 pm

sunshower wrote:
I don't think messaging women on here obsessively means the guy is a creep, I think it means that they are lonely.

I wonder if boo refers to me here or not, even if he doesn't mean me I am probably implicated because I know I have said I have not liked being messaged by guys on here to that purpose, but to be clear I don't think there is anything wrong with the guys - they are not creeps or anything, I'm sure they are wonderful people, it's my own issues and my own problems that are at fault.
I've been messaged a few times by girls/women in probably the same way you have, although never excessively. I'm systematically turning everybody down - gently. I'm not here to "get some coat on the peg" as is how we say it in Norway. :roll:


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sunshower
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26 Dec 2011, 5:56 pm

Kenjuudo wrote:
sunshower wrote:
I don't think messaging women on here obsessively means the guy is a creep, I think it means that they are lonely.

I wonder if boo refers to me here or not, even if he doesn't mean me I am probably implicated because I know I have said I have not liked being messaged by guys on here to that purpose, but to be clear I don't think there is anything wrong with the guys - they are not creeps or anything, I'm sure they are wonderful people, it's my own issues and my own problems that are at fault.
I've been messaged a few times by girls/women in probably the same way you have, although never excessively. I'm systematically turning everybody down - gently. I'm not here to "get some coat on the peg" as is how we say it in Norway. :roll:


Yeah, it's not excessive for me either. I find it difficult to handle, especially when the person is directly going in that direction with no sort of gesture of friendship or anything like that. I also find the PMing difficult because it's very socially exhausting to keep up with it on top of my facebook and IRL social commitments. I try not to have any ongoing PM communication with anyone for this reason.


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Asp-Z
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26 Dec 2011, 6:00 pm

I met someone on a forum who I ended up falling in love with. It can happen. Not everyone who tries to make friends online is a "creep", they're usually in the minority.



hyperlexian
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26 Dec 2011, 6:07 pm

this does happen, but the huge majority of members are respectful and polite.

occasionally members do fall for each other on the site, and it is sometimes quite noticeable when a member seems to post for the purposes of finding people to date. that might give a mistaken impression that all members would be keen to find love here.

i don't think there is anything wrong with romantic overtures. but the sender needs to respect that no means no. signalling interest is not necessarily a problem, but persistent contact can be an issue if the recipient is uncomfortable.

many people don't know how to establish appropriate boundaries, and they are uncertain how to tell when other people have crossed the line with them.

i would encourage people to talk to moderators if they are having issues with other members (romantic or otherwise), because we can help you navigate the situation with fresh eyes and give advice even when warnings or other disciplinary actions are not ncessary. we are here to look out for you and to keep WP as safe and supportive as possible.


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hale_bopp
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26 Dec 2011, 6:08 pm

I've only met one creep on this site in my whole time here. He got banned from here many years ago for harassing women and sending them verbal abuse when they didn't want a relationship.

He lives near me and started harassing me off this site.

Yes, certain people can be annoying when they act like they should be your world and are shocked or angry when you aren't very interested in them.. but that's not creppy. Just annoying.



Kenjuudo
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26 Dec 2011, 6:12 pm

sunshower wrote:
Kenjuudo wrote:
I've been messaged a few times by girls/women in probably the same way you have, although never excessively. I'm systematically turning everybody down - gently. I'm not here to "get some coat on the peg" as is how we say it in Norway. :roll:


Yeah, it's not excessive for me either. I find it difficult to handle, especially when the person is directly going in that direction with no sort of gesture of friendship or anything like that. I also find the PMing difficult because it's very socially exhausting to keep up with it on top of my facebook and IRL social commitments. I try not to have any ongoing PM communication with anyone for this reason.
I see PMs as obligatory communication. An "I demand your attention"-kind of thing. It's annoying, and as such I turn everybody down. Gently, because it's not their fault I'm being a b***h about it.


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sunshower
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26 Dec 2011, 6:23 pm

Kenjuudo wrote:
sunshower wrote:
Kenjuudo wrote:
I've been messaged a few times by girls/women in probably the same way you have, although never excessively. I'm systematically turning everybody down - gently. I'm not here to "get some coat on the peg" as is how we say it in Norway. :roll:


Yeah, it's not excessive for me either. I find it difficult to handle, especially when the person is directly going in that direction with no sort of gesture of friendship or anything like that. I also find the PMing difficult because it's very socially exhausting to keep up with it on top of my facebook and IRL social commitments. I try not to have any ongoing PM communication with anyone for this reason.
I see PMs as obligatory communication. An "I demand your attention"-kind of thing. It's annoying, and as such I turn everybody down. Gently, because it's not their fault I'm being a b***h about it.


For me it really depends. I find the "I want to be your friend/hi how are you?" PM's to be difficult to handle. However, PM's asking a specific question or elaborating on a specific topic I don't mind as much.


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