Lonely, does anyone want to talk?

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So yeah..the title says it all...I am so lonely. If anyone wants to talk...about anything...I will jump down the rabbit hole of your special interest, it really does not matter. I realize this post sounds really desperate, but I just need a human to talk to tonight.

What do you want to talk about?

What's on your mind, cousin? Why so low?

I do have a lot going on right now that is stressing me out, but I dont really want to talk about all that. They are my problems and I will work them out.

I dont really care what the topic is, as long as its happy lol.

Hehe...cats are funny. I dont have any cat memes though.

I tell you what, I was laid off May 4th, and it has been just dead (slow) in my life for the past four months, and then of course...everything happens all at once. So stressful.

And pretty sure I have lost my only friend (who was online anyway and not even in the same country as me).

Awhh thanks. Yeah I tend to talk to not great ppl bc I get so lonely and desperate. I repel most ppl pretty quickly.

I like the painting you have as your profile picture. It’s very beautiful!

Thanks! I am obsessed with abstract oil paintings. I love them too much lol.

I'm really sorry for what you're going through - do you have anything you go to that makes you laugh? No two people are the same, but that tends to be one of my primary coping mechanisms when things are rough. Also, talking about what's going on can help - I don't think anyone will mind if you let your thoughts and feelings out (if that's what you feel like doing of course).

Any particular subjects *you're* interested in that you want to ask for thoughts on?

Are you preferring to talk in a public forum or PM, Acid?

Do you have a garden or grow plants of any kind, even house plants? I grow lots of things and can bore people to tears with details. Right now it is the end of mango season and I have been freezing, dehydrating mangos and canning chutney and jam.

I am also preparing for a canoe trip.

I'm just super stressed.

I live in an expensive area so I can only afford to rent rooms and not my own apartment. I have been in two room in two years and both ppl are crazy! I have to move out of this place now by the end of Sept. I am more than ready! But that means I have to find a new place and that is extremely stressful. I really wish I could afford my own apartment again, but rent is too high here now. It is also really difficult for me to manage my own place on my own.

I also started a new job this week. I was laid off 5/4 so its been four months! I was also working from home two months before I was laid off due to covid, so its been six months since I was onsite anywhere. This is a cashier job that will not pay enough for me to live, even by renting a room.
I also just accepted (today) a job offer for a different job that will pay more. But I have had such bad expriences in jobs in the past, I am having such horrible panic about repeating past mistakes or not being able to keep up.

Like most Aspies I am super smart...but the low points are really low, and it does make it difficult to maintain employment.

I also start an online continuing education program next week to become a pharmacy tech. I have never been successful in college before. But this program is supposed to basically hold your hand and almost hand feed you everything you need to do. I dont have a problem passing - just all the other stuff. I know I would be a great pharmacy tech...Ive worked with insurance extensively in the past and I love it. I also would not mind just counting pills all day lol.

And then theres the part where I am 100% alone in all of this. Plus my online friend being a low key jerk. (He's also on the spectrum so I feel bad holding his actions against him) But he does hurt my feelings a lot. But I also like him. ugh.

That is all.

I am open to talking here...or anyone is welcome to PM me as well.