Not interested in dating a guy who works to much on his arms

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KimD
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16 Sep 2020, 4:05 pm

Teach51 wrote:
The women I know tend to think body builders are shallow, self-obsessed and not very bright.This is probably a gross generalization
I myself prefer the intellectual athletic type :D


Yes; I would say that at least some women consider WHY a guy is bulky (even if they jump to the wrong conclusion). Does he do a lot of physical work? Is he into a sport or hobby that involves upper body strength? Is he just into fitness and happen to be the body type that bulks up more easily than others, or is he totally into protein shakes and obsessed with his appearance?

Personally, I might draw conclusions about someone's appearance, but I didn't go "body shopping" or whatever when I was young and single. Quite the opposite, actually. My husband and I started out as friends and *then* we fell in love. It wasn't about physical attraction at all for me--granted, he was VERY skinny and needed braces as well as a hairstyle, but I didn't turn him down because of that. He's
a sweet, smart, funny, responsible, and handsome guy--I hear what other women say about their husbands and feel sorry for them (or wonder why they said "I do"). He and I have been together for 32 years and couldn't be happier. :heart:



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17 Sep 2020, 3:03 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

My point is to point to the amount of disrespect she had for her ex just due to his physical stature (and much sexually and masculine inferior in her eyes); this is a common attitude btw among a lot of women who dated short/skinny guys before, sadly. Now I predict she will deny this and make it sounds that he was jerk in other ways bla bla, the typical defense narrative (this happens every time)....but I will not believe it, the slip of tongue is always the ultimate truth.


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:mrgreen:



The_Face_of_Boo
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17 Sep 2020, 3:49 am

Pepe wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

My point is to point to the amount of disrespect she had for her ex just due to his physical stature (and much sexually and masculine inferior in her eyes); this is a common attitude btw among a lot of women who dated short/skinny guys before, sadly. Now I predict she will deny this and make it sounds that he was jerk in other ways bla bla, the typical defense narrative (this happens every time)....but I will not believe it, the slip of tongue is always the ultimate truth.


Image
:mrgreen:


Nah, I would like to see her reasoning...



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17 Sep 2020, 4:05 am

Do you mean you're not into it or women aren't into it?

Cos I've noticed guys tend to prefer twinks tbh. Nice pretty boy types. I'm FTM and the same holds true for me too, I can't stand muscular guys with hairy chests etc.

If you mean women, too much of anything is too much. If a cis guy is using testosterone and/or if a guy is using steroids, he likely looks unnatural, a bit odd and... when it comes to dating looks aren't everything.

When it comes to dating, boy next door types appeal to women (and others) because they are comfortable in themselves. They are not obsessed with constantly improving themselves and their physical appearance. So they can spend more time either improving themselves as people or just being confident and comfortable in themselves & spending time with their partner.

Personally I wouldn't want a girlfriend who spent every waking moment worrying if she was pretty enough. I wouldn't want a pure 100% natural girl like a lot of NT cis guys convince themselves they like (believe me, they don't, they seem to think women have natural glow about them and that shade of pink lips and even some of them believe women have naturally smooth legs lol). But the 'natural' look on makeup and smooth skin would be preferable to a girl who could never leave the house without makeup, who hated her looks, who wanted plastic surgery. And a woman who cared about her personality, liked herself physically and who cared about me, would be far more worthwhile than a woman who was a mean conceited bully but absolutely 100% gorgeous.

One night stands is another story :lol: So is checking people out :lol: I think a lot of women would like to check out the guy with the muscles, they just wouldn't be into them long-term.


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22 Sep 2020, 10:58 am

Fnord wrote:
Physical appearance is a depreciating asset.
I remember the media used to say that Madonna & Cindy Crawford looked younger the older they got. I don't think anyone would claim that now but for a while people were talking like Madonna & Cindy physically aged in reverse.


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26 Nov 2020, 7:02 am

Lunella wrote:
My husband is a bodybuilder, he literally needs me to help him put a jacket on sometimes cause his arms/shoulders are too big lol

People treat you with a lot more respect from what I've noticed. They're almost intimidated of you because you're not average looking at all. Nobody dare say anything bad to him kind of thing.

When you're with someone like that you feel a lot safer and protected cause nobody messes around. You're not gonna pick on some guys wife when the husband looks like they're built like a tank. They'd snap you in half for just looking at the wife wrong.

There's a hell of a lot of confidence you get from looking like that too. A bit too confident when he snaps the door handles off the kitchen door accidentally though. :roll:

I started getting quite toned and shredded myself (cause he eats ridiculously healthy and I tend to just eat what he eats anyway cause I'll mostly cook it cause his cooking is awful) but since I did I've noticed people at my work treat me a hell of a lot differently, like there were a group of girls there that gossiped and made drama about everyone but they don't do that around me now cause it's like they're suddenly intimidated of me? It's just weird how people have changed on the account of me looking better. These days they're all trying to be my best friend after they we're little dickheads before - and it's literally just to show off.

I'd say my life like this is way better because before I was going out with this skinny runt of a guy and it was just really boring. At least now I get the best piggybacks ever. :mrgreen:

Of course it's all down to personal preference, no one is better than anyone else. I just think the mental health and physical benefits you get for being built like a brick s**t house are much better than not being from having the experience myself.


... ... ...
Sad but true...People in general are highly superficial...And one is treated based on appearance...I am a petite brunette, slim at 5'...Pretty but insignificant...That is, until i speak...Then, heads turn...Maybe it is the soft and sweet, yet firm, tone of my voice..."Invisible" in my own family...To this day, i struggle to be heard...And so, i have been forced to develop a strong character, one unlike my fragile nature...Not aggressive but assertive in order to survive in this world of the survival of the fittest...No wonder i admire that which i lack: physical strength...

And so, consciously or not, i fell in love with my husband's strength...At 6 feet tall and an athletic built, he turns heads everywhere he goes...He has been lifting weights since he was young for appx. two decades, and it really shows...But this is because he already has the right genes...He is Caribbean of African descent...To date, his waistline remains at 32 inches...His wide back is in the shape of a triangle, really!! !...Each shoulder is 20 inches wide...He orders XL suits that must be altered completely...(Some XL do not fit his broad shoulders, so he must order XXL)...Indeed, his appearance is intimidating and at the same time incredibly attractive :heart: :heart: :heart: ...I tell him that he is my personal "Black Panther" :wink: ...My greatest fear is that i lose him to Hollywood, when Hollywood discovers him...No exaggeration!! !...

Ironically, when i first met him at a Christian meeting...He was wearing a suit that hid his muscles...And said suit gave me the impression that he was fat, which i didn't mind at all...Later, i discovered that the bulkiness turned-out to be the massive volume of his muscles :D ...During our courtship, i told him that i much prefer lean muscles...And since then, he has focused more on the toning and not so much on the volume...Now his body is naturally PERFECT...I am happy to report that during this pandemic--at a time when gyms have closed--my husband continues to work-out regularly at a 'gym' he improvised in our property...This is because his motivation has not been vanity but for health reasons...Suffice to say, I am happier now that he is saving 40 dollars of monthly membership...Plus, i don't have to worry about flirtatious women--with sculptured bodies to perfection--approaching him at the gym...

Now, i am the one that appears to be superficial, right?! :oops: ...In my defense, i will say the following...That in my younger years, i did not choose to date muscular young men...They chose me...I just seemed to attract them, among them he who won the body building contest at my local community college...We dated for three months only, and i broke it off...If muscles matter that much to me, i would have married him...(He proposed to me twice in a three year period)...In my defense, i should also add that my two subsequent boyfriends were attractive but not at all muscular...(My first love was :wink: )...And last but not least, if my beloved (Aspie) husband lost his strength, i would still love him...Maybe even more so :heart: :heart: :heart: ...For now, i cannot and i will not deny that i absolutely love to feel the strength of his body over mine :wink:

Post Script: I also love the respect that i get with him by my side...Sad but true...People give respect solely based on appearances... :cry:



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26 Nov 2020, 8:09 am

Jamesy wrote:
In my last place of employment there was a young man working in the same place as I was and he was 5ft7 and 182 lbs. When he told me he weighed 182 pounds, I said, "That's rather a lot for a chap of your height!"

He took his top off and we could see where all the weight was situated - he had massive arms, and I assume legs to match, and a torso to be proud of (no homo). All the female heads turned, and one of them even said his physique was 'beautiful'!

I was talking about this once on the health forums on wrong planet and a poster said something along the lines of “women are not really interested in dating a guy who spends that much time working on there arms, they would rather date a boy next door type”


Do you think it’s true that women are not interested in going on a date with a guy who works out that much?


I got into a conversation with one woman, my mom, about musclebound young guys who were abusing steroids (that was a fad that became a health issue in the news some years ago). She said "its the male equivalent of anorexia". And we agreed that the two phenoms were parallel in a number of ways (1)bad for the person's health, and (2)based upon a misconception of what the opposite sex likes. Men cant stand that hyper thin insect like look that results from anorexia, but women seem to think that men like it( because "women like the look themselves" mom opined). Likewise guys THINK that women like that musclebound look that body builders have because some guys think its cool themselves (but mom testified that women dont like it).



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26 Nov 2020, 9:46 am

Maybe she means only his right arm.



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26 Nov 2020, 2:47 pm

When I saw this thread pop up again, my first thought was "Heeeeyyyyy baby, I work on my feet."


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26 Nov 2020, 4:39 pm

Jamesy wrote:
In my last place of employment there was a young man working in the same place as I was and he was 5ft7 and 182 lbs. When he told me he weighed 182 pounds, I said, "That's rather a lot for a chap of your height!"

He took his top off and we could see where all the weight was situated - he had massive arms, and I assume legs to match, and a torso to be proud of (no homo). All the female heads turned, and one of them even said his physique was 'beautiful'!

I was talking about this once on the health forums on wrong planet and a poster said something along the lines of “women are not really interested in dating a guy who spends that much time working on there arms, they would rather date a boy next door type”


Do you think it’s true that women are not interested in going on a date with a guy who works out that much?


They might not all want to date him, but some of them would still want to f**k him.


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27 Nov 2020, 6:22 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
In my last place of employment there was a young man working in the same place as I was and he was 5ft7 and 182 lbs. When he told me he weighed 182 pounds, I said, "That's rather a lot for a chap of your height!"

He took his top off and we could see where all the weight was situated - he had massive arms, and I assume legs to match, and a torso to be proud of (no homo). All the female heads turned, and one of them even said his physique was 'beautiful'!

I was talking about this once on the health forums on wrong planet and a poster said something along the lines of “women are not really interested in dating a guy who spends that much time working on there arms, they would rather date a boy next door type”


Do you think it’s true that women are not interested in going on a date with a guy who works out that much?


They might not all want to date him, but some of them would still want to f**k him.


Yeah. I don't get why there's so much outrage and blanket denial at the suggestion that a woman might be interested in a man's body. It seems reasonable to me- a big part of sexual attraction is subconciously assessing reproductive fitness, and a muscular male body is surely going to score at least a few points on that scale. But when women get rowdy and start talking lustfully about men while other men are present, you can feel all those outraged male sphincters clenching.

(Couple of tangents- I swear many men still believe that women don't feel sexual desire and just "lie back and think of England." Also: there have been times and places where (unlike in today's slimming-obsessed culture) fat women were generally considered very attractive, which I guess may be a case of sexual selection in favour of mates who are good at obtaining food. Not sure if the same applied to fat men in those cultures, as there wasn't a female version of Rubens who painted big-bellied nude men. A shame- I'd get to be "Rubenesque" instead of just, ahem, "portly.")


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27 Nov 2020, 8:11 pm

Clueless2017 wrote:
... ... ...
Sad but true...People in general are highly superficial...And one is treated based on appearance...I am a petite brunette, slim at 5'...Pretty but insignificant...That is, until i speak...Then, heads turn...Maybe it is the soft and sweet, yet firm, tone of my voice..."Invisible" in my own family...To this day, i struggle to be heard...And so, i have been forced to develop a strong character, one unlike my fragile nature...Not aggressive but assertive in order to survive in this world of the survival of the fittest...No wonder i admire that which i lack: physical strength...

And so, consciously or not, i fell in love with my husband's strength...At 6 feet tall and an athletic built, he turns heads everywhere he goes...He has been lifting weights since he was young for appx. two decades, and it really shows...But this is because he already has the right genes...He is Caribbean of African descent...To date, his waistline remains at 32 inches...His wide back is in the shape of a triangle, really!! !...Each shoulder is 20 inches wide...He orders XL suits that must be altered completely...(Some XL do not fit his broad shoulders, so he must order XXL)...Indeed, his appearance is intimidating and at the same time incredibly attractive :heart: :heart: :heart: ...I tell him that he is my personal "Black Panther" :wink: ...My greatest fear is that i lose him to Hollywood, when Hollywood discovers him...No exaggeration!! !...

Ironically, when i first met him at a Christian meeting...He was wearing a suit that hid his muscles...And said suit gave me the impression that he was fat, which i didn't mind at all...Later, i discovered that the bulkiness turned-out to be the massive volume of his muscles :D ...During our courtship, i told him that i much prefer lean muscles...And since then, he has focused more on the toning and not so much on the volume...Now his body is naturally PERFECT...I am happy to report that during this pandemic--at a time when gyms have closed--my husband continues to work-out regularly at a 'gym' he improvised in our property...This is because his motivation has not been vanity but for health reasons...Suffice to say, I am happier now that he is saving 40 dollars of monthly membership...Plus, i don't have to worry about flirtatious women--with sculptured bodies to perfection--approaching him at the gym...

Now, i am the one that appears to be superficial, right?! :oops: ...In my defense, i will say the following...That in my younger years, i did not choose to date muscular young men...They chose me...I just seemed to attract them, among them he who won the body building contest at my local community college...We dated for three months only, and i broke it off...If muscles matter that much to me, i would have married him...(He proposed to me twice in a three year period)...In my defense, i should also add that my two subsequent boyfriends were attractive but not at all muscular...(My first love was :wink: )...And last but not least, if my beloved (Aspie) husband lost his strength, i would still love him...Maybe even more so :heart: :heart: :heart: ...For now, i cannot and i will not deny that i absolutely love to feel the strength of his body over mine :wink:

Post Script: I also love the respect that i get with him by my side...Sad but true...People give respect solely based on appearances... :cry:


I have the exact same physique, as your husband.
I'm just half an inch taller. 8)



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27 Nov 2020, 8:14 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
Maybe she means only his right arm.


A guy with 2 right armS?
Now *that* is a novelty. :mrgreen:



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27 Nov 2020, 8:58 pm

It can’t be good for your health though to be 5ft7 and 182 pounds right?



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27 Nov 2020, 11:08 pm

Pepe wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
... ... ...
Sad but true...People in general are highly superficial...And one is treated based on appearance...I am a petite brunette, slim at 5'...Pretty but insignificant...That is, until i speak...Then, heads turn...Maybe it is the soft and sweet, yet firm, tone of my voice..."Invisible" in my own family...To this day, i struggle to be heard...And so, i have been forced to develop a strong character, one unlike my fragile nature...Not aggressive but assertive in order to survive in this world of the survival of the fittest...No wonder i admire that which i lack: physical strength...

And so, consciously or not, i fell in love with my husband's strength...At 6 feet tall and an athletic built, he turns heads everywhere he goes...He has been lifting weights since he was young for appx. two decades, and it really shows...But this is because he already has the right genes...He is Caribbean of African descent...To date, his waistline remains at 32 inches...His wide back is in the shape of a triangle, really!! !...Each shoulder is 20 inches wide...He orders XL suits that must be altered completely...(Some XL do not fit his broad shoulders, so he must order XXL)...Indeed, his appearance is intimidating and at the same time incredibly attractive :heart: :heart: :heart: ...I tell him that he is my personal "Black Panther" :wink: ...My greatest fear is that i lose him to Hollywood, when Hollywood discovers him...No exaggeration!! !...

Ironically, when i first met him at a Christian meeting...He was wearing a suit that hid his muscles...And said suit gave me the impression that he was fat, which i didn't mind at all...Later, i discovered that the bulkiness turned-out to be the massive volume of his muscles :D ...During our courtship, i told him that i much prefer lean muscles...And since then, he has focused more on the toning and not so much on the volume...Now his body is naturally PERFECT...I am happy to report that during this pandemic--at a time when gyms have closed--my husband continues to work-out regularly at a 'gym' he improvised in our property...This is because his motivation has not been vanity but for health reasons...Suffice to say, I am happier now that he is saving 40 dollars of monthly membership...Plus, i don't have to worry about flirtatious women--with sculptured bodies to perfection--approaching him at the gym...

Now, i am the one that appears to be superficial, right?! :oops: ...In my defense, i will say the following...That in my younger years, i did not choose to date muscular young men...They chose me...I just seemed to attract them, among them he who won the body building contest at my local community college...We dated for three months only, and i broke it off...If muscles matter that much to me, i would have married him...(He proposed to me twice in a three year period)...In my defense, i should also add that my two subsequent boyfriends were attractive but not at all muscular...(My first love was :wink: )...And last but not least, if my beloved (Aspie) husband lost his strength, i would still love him...Maybe even more so :heart: :heart: :heart: ...For now, i cannot and i will not deny that i absolutely love to feel the strength of his body over mine :wink:

Post Script: I also love the respect that i get with him by my side...Sad but true...People give respect solely based on appearances... :cry:


I have the exact same physique, as your husband.
I'm just half an inch taller. 8)


Lol...Then, you are a rare species... :wink:



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28 Nov 2020, 12:47 am

Clueless2017 wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Clueless2017 wrote:
... ... ...
Sad but true...People in general are highly superficial...And one is treated based on appearance...I am a petite brunette, slim at 5'...Pretty but insignificant...That is, until i speak...Then, heads turn...Maybe it is the soft and sweet, yet firm, tone of my voice..."Invisible" in my own family...To this day, i struggle to be heard...And so, i have been forced to develop a strong character, one unlike my fragile nature...Not aggressive but assertive in order to survive in this world of the survival of the fittest...No wonder i admire that which i lack: physical strength...

And so, consciously or not, i fell in love with my husband's strength...At 6 feet tall and an athletic built, he turns heads everywhere he goes...He has been lifting weights since he was young for appx. two decades, and it really shows...But this is because he already has the right genes...He is Caribbean of African descent...To date, his waistline remains at 32 inches...His wide back is in the shape of a triangle, really!! !...Each shoulder is 20 inches wide...He orders XL suits that must be altered completely...(Some XL do not fit his broad shoulders, so he must order XXL)...Indeed, his appearance is intimidating and at the same time incredibly attractive :heart: :heart: :heart: ...I tell him that he is my personal "Black Panther" :wink: ...My greatest fear is that i lose him to Hollywood, when Hollywood discovers him...No exaggeration!! !...

Ironically, when i first met him at a Christian meeting...He was wearing a suit that hid his muscles...And said suit gave me the impression that he was fat, which i didn't mind at all...Later, i discovered that the bulkiness turned-out to be the massive volume of his muscles :D ...During our courtship, i told him that i much prefer lean muscles...And since then, he has focused more on the toning and not so much on the volume...Now his body is naturally PERFECT...I am happy to report that during this pandemic--at a time when gyms have closed--my husband continues to work-out regularly at a 'gym' he improvised in our property...This is because his motivation has not been vanity but for health reasons...Suffice to say, I am happier now that he is saving 40 dollars of monthly membership...Plus, i don't have to worry about flirtatious women--with sculptured bodies to perfection--approaching him at the gym...

Now, i am the one that appears to be superficial, right?! :oops: ...In my defense, i will say the following...That in my younger years, i did not choose to date muscular young men...They chose me...I just seemed to attract them, among them he who won the body building contest at my local community college...We dated for three months only, and i broke it off...If muscles matter that much to me, i would have married him...(He proposed to me twice in a three year period)...In my defense, i should also add that my two subsequent boyfriends were attractive but not at all muscular...(My first love was :wink: )...And last but not least, if my beloved (Aspie) husband lost his strength, i would still love him...Maybe even more so :heart: :heart: :heart: ...For now, i cannot and i will not deny that i absolutely love to feel the strength of his body over mine :wink:

Post Script: I also love the respect that i get with him by my side...Sad but true...People give respect solely based on appearances... :cry:


I have the exact same physique, as your husband.
I'm just half an inch taller. 8)


Lol...Then, you are a rare species... :wink:


Keep me in mind, if you want a change. 8)