Has anyone harassed you while on a date?

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Jayo
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29 Sep 2020, 11:56 am

Mostly a question for aspie men...on a date with an NT female, or an NT woman is your girlfriend- you're out in a public place like a cafe or whatever, and some douche/yahoo type puts you down in front of her, or asks the young lady "what are you doing with him, something's off with him".

While ignoring seems like the best option, sometimes it can't be...for the obvious reasons of not saving face. 8O
Luckily I never had to go thru this and have dated several women till I met "the one" :)
But I'm wondering how the rest of my brethren had to deal with this rather uncomfortable and somewhat unwinnable situation...
I'm thinking the best way would be to turn the tables, make it sound like they're the one with the mental disorder, e.g. "I think you conjured this up, that's all in your head" or retort "is that some kind of Tourettes-like disorder where you blurt things out w/o thinking about what you say" - but don't say "I'm the same as you" because they'll NEVER want to believe that...



Fnord
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29 Sep 2020, 12:00 pm

Has anyone ever been arrested for beating the snot out of someone for harassing them on a date?


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kraftiekortie
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29 Sep 2020, 12:00 pm

Adulthood is not high school.

The above has never happened to me after my high school years.

There are certainly “yahoo” types—but, unless they’re drunk, they probably wouldn’t be as direct as what you stated.



jimmy m
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29 Sep 2020, 1:12 pm

When I was a teenage, I was in the back seat of my car with a girl and we were snuggling together. It was a quiet neighborhood and dark of night. Suddenly there was a couple loud cracks on my window. I looked up into a flashlight starring at my eyes. I opened the window and a policeman asked me what I was doing. I said I am with my girlfriend in the back seat. He said move along. So I got into the front seat, started the car and drove off into even a more remove area in the backcountry, along a cliff overlooking the entire city of Los Angeles. It was a very beautiful spot and much more romantic.


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Mountain Goat
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29 Sep 2020, 2:11 pm

I have had this but not while dating. More while with a young lady chatting to her and kind of wanting to ask her out but not having a clue how to, and then someone else chats to her to rescue her from chatting with me, and off they go and within no time they are a couple.
I have also had many young ladies I have been attracted to but found boyfriends for them as I felt they could do with someone better then I am. Actually at least three I can think of married soon after... If I have time to think, I can think of more. Ooh. I can think of one beautiful lady I was dating who I let a better guy date and he married her. Also one lady who we were an online item who I let my brother date and they were living together for a while.
I don't know why but... I am not sure. I plan to find someone to marry. :) I am not perfect so I need to find someone who does not mind too much, and someone who is right for me and I am right for her...

Well, I am still single! Haha!


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RightGalaxy
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29 Sep 2020, 8:58 pm

Fnord wrote:
Has anyone ever been arrested for beating the snot out of someone for harassing them on a date?


Yes. Stopped but not arrested. Someone harassed my husband and I when we were dating. He is small but was a bantam weight professional boxer and beat the dippy doo out of the guy.



Pepe
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30 Sep 2020, 6:30 am

Jayo wrote:
But I'm wondering how the rest of my brethren had to deal with this rather uncomfortable and somewhat unwinnable situation...

Moi? :scratch:

I'd pull out my pepper spray,
Spritz him in the eyes,
And run down the street screaming like a gurl! 8O

Simples.
Decorum is my middle name. 8)


My MO is to avoid awkward situations in the first place by being "situationally aware". 8)



quite an extreme
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30 Sep 2020, 11:08 am

Jayo wrote:
Mostly a question for aspie men...on a date with an NT female, or an NT woman is your girlfriend- you're out in a public place like a cafe or whatever, and some douche/yahoo type puts you down in front of her, or asks the young lady "what are you doing with him, something's off with him".

NT women care about that and may dump you if you don't react. "A get lost *****!" and becoming angry could help. Once she seems to like him you should become angry to her as well because she has to reject other guys and not to flirt with them. There are women who even try to cause such situation and flirt behind your back with other guys just for causing you trouble and testing your reaction. Be always aware that any new girlfriend of you may try that kind of sh*t tests of you at the beginning because it's a social hierarchy thing that NT women are quite into.

@MG: That thinking that other guys may be a better choice is quite always wrong. You should abort this kind of thinking totally. A girl wouldn't even date you if she would feeling that way.


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Jayo
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30 Sep 2020, 3:48 pm

quite an extreme wrote:
Jayo wrote:
Mostly a question for aspie men...on a date with an NT female, or an NT woman is your girlfriend- you're out in a public place like a cafe or whatever, and some douche/yahoo type puts you down in front of her, or asks the young lady "what are you doing with him, something's off with him".


NT women care about that and may dump you if you don't react. "A get lost *****!" and becoming angry could help. Once she seems to like him you should become angry to her as well because she has to reject other guys and not to flirt with them. There are women who even try to cause such situation and flirt behind your back with other guys just for causing you trouble and testing your reaction. Be always aware that any new girlfriend of you may try that kind of sh*t tests of you at the beginning because it's a social hierarchy thing that NT women are quite into.

@MG: That thinking that other guys may be a better choice is quite always wrong. You should abort this kind of thinking totally. A girl wouldn't even date you if she would feeling that way.


Well, yeah. It would definitely make you look weak or "beta" if you just took it. You just hope to stand your ground and they back down, no doctors or lawyers or cops involved 8O
Fortunately, only a small fraction of other men will do this and it depends on your surroundings - ergo, it's best not to take her to such surroundings in the first place!!
While young adulthood can be pseudo-Darwinian in general, it's not anywhere near as bad as, say, prison or biker gangs or even organized sports... 8O



The_Face_of_Boo
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30 Sep 2020, 3:50 pm

Does a forced/unplanned date count?



quite an extreme
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30 Sep 2020, 5:15 pm

Jayo wrote:
Well, yeah. It would definitely make you look weak or "beta" if you just took it. You just hope to stand your ground and they back down, no doctors or lawyers or cops involved 8O


Just a real life sample. Once in a club a young woman brushed against me and I decided to follow her and dance with her. I just did start that when another woman who was dacing near to us realized this and tried to pull her away from me. Then the guy that the woman was dancing with became angry of me. I wasn't afraid of him but didn't want to start a fight because I nearly killed a guy some time before and fights in a club are rarely a good idea. So I did just wait wether he was on a suicide trip but didn't start a fight myself. Suddenly the woman I was up to dance with yelled on me "Hey - go away!". I didn't get her behaviour but went some meters away. I was looking at her eyes in a quite serious and hard way well knowing it has been intentional of her and she was getting me. The other guy moved a bit more near to me but I ignored him. Angry of me not caring about him the guy said the girls "Come let's go!" and left the room. As soon as he and the girl he was dancing with before had left the room the girl who had brushed against me became overly happy and excited and brushed joyfull against me again like saying "You are great I'm so happy!" and followed them. This was the time I realized that the guy was her boy friend and it was a sh*ttest of her for his reaction. She had no idea of the real danger her friend was in because of this...


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Mountain Goat
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30 Sep 2020, 5:33 pm

quite an extreme wrote:
@MG: That thinking that other guys may be a better choice is quite always wrong. You should abort this kind of thinking totally. A girl wouldn't even date you if she would feeling that way.


Thanks. Well. My thoughts have been to date the girls who have messed up in life because I felt if I dated a perfect girl I would spoil her and mess her up as I did not feel good enough to go for a perfect lady if that makes sense? (I need to add to my three previous girlfriends who may read this and who I think are good people that I did not follow this philosophy when I was dating you. I was actually surprized that every one of you exceeded my expectations, and each one of you were a dream to date...).


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quite an extreme
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30 Sep 2020, 6:26 pm

Btw. not even few girls did brush against me with their breast while following their boyfriends. Some were even still holding his hand while doing this behind his back. You should be aware that this is not at all a rare thing for NT women.


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Last edited by quite an extreme on 30 Sep 2020, 10:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Mountain Goat
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30 Sep 2020, 6:35 pm

quite an extreme wrote:
Btw. not even few girls did brush against me with their breast while following their boyfriends. Some were even still holding his hand while doing this behind his back. You should be aware that this is not at all rare thing for NT women.


Try and work trains where they do that to try and get away without buying a ticket. I was having none of that! After all. I said to them how much of a bargain the ticket actually is as if they keep it safe for a hundred years or so, it will become a collectors item and they will be able to sell it and get their money back for their cost of travel. Sadly some did not share the same enthusiasm for such a precious railway item.


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Pepe
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30 Sep 2020, 6:39 pm

Jayo wrote:

Well, yeah. It would definitely make you look weak or "beta" if you just took it.


Respectfully disagree.
A more mature response is to simply remove yourself from the situation.
Reacting to a moron,
no disrespect intended to the morons out there. :mrgreen:
simply gives him/it what it wants. I.E. An emotional reaction.

People like that are real-life trolls who feed off the responses of other people.
Doing so gives *them* the power.
"DON'T FEED THE TROLLS." 8)

If the idiot actually becomes physical, that is different. :ninja:

"Rationality, rather than emotionality." 8)



traven
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30 Sep 2020, 11:57 pm

i never "dated" , im not "worth" that much, imagine :mrgreen:

trying to get in your pants can happen without that, or other ambigoues situations,

and the foster-situation, in adult hindsight it should have been looked into, aaaarggg those 70s

guess i wasn't instable enough for that to work, and semi-oblivious as well