Dating in the Time of the Pandemic

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I came across an interesting article today titled: 5 tips for dating during the coronavirus pandemic, from a matchmaker

The premise of the article was:
“This is a great time to be on the apps, and to do virtual dates,” said matchmaker Emma Vernon. For singles hoping to find a cuffing partner ahead of a second coronavirus wave, Vernon suggests seeking non-traditional avenues to connect, such as in the comments section of a TikTok video or through her “Singles of the Week” Instagram posts.

Although I am a half a century past the dating scene, I understand that many of the younger Aspies on this site might benefit from this perspective. Granted it is an NT perspective and most Aspies find dating apps as unworkable.

One thing that struck me was when I read the article there were some words that just didn't connect. I must be ancient.

One of the words was "cuffing season" as in "Fall 'cuffing season' is just a few weeks away". So I looked up the term. Cuffing season refers to a period of time where single people begin looking for short term partnerships to pass the colder months of the year. Cuffing season usually begins in October and lasts until just after Valentines Day.

Another term that was used was "Boo". According to the multiple slang dictionaries, boo is an affectionate term for referring to your significant other. Mostly, people call their boyfriends and girlfriends boo, especially on social media.

Like I said I must be ancient.



So here are her FIVE tips:

1. Discuss your COVID risk tolerance

“You should know your own COVID status and that of the person you’re going out with,” said Vernon, who stresses being up-front about your risk tolerance. “Make sure you feel empowered to leave if the other person isn’t following the boundaries you agreed to,” such as leaning in for a kiss when you agreed to keep 6 feet of distance.

2. Write down your non-negotiables

Before you start mindlessly swiping, do some reflection. “If you know what you want, it’s easier for you to spot someone who doesn’t check those boxes,” Vernon said. Although she encourages singles to stay open-minded, she said making a list of ideal traits in a significant other helps to narrow the pool.

3. Pay attention to bad dates

“Reclaim how you see people who aren’t right for you,” said Vernon, who encourages singles to not think of flings that don’t last as wasted time. “Look at it as a learning experience” that will help you find the right person on your hunt for a cuff. “You can think, ‘What made me want to go on a third or fourth date with this person, but not a fifth or sixth one?’ ”

4. Use the 9-3-1 rule

Vernon advises singles to take advantage of the final weeks of warm weather by using the “9-3-1 rule.”

“Set up nine virtual dates, or over the phone, whichever you feel comfortable with,” said Vernon. “Of those nine, try and go on a second date — maybe something in-person but socially distanced — with three of them. Then from there, hopefully you can choose one person.” Think of it as a self-produced season of “The Bachelor.”

5. Be intentional in your dating app bio

“If you’re looking to be in a relationship this fall or winter, you have to make it known,” said Vernon. Still, she advises against intense pickup lines — “Don’t say, ‘I’m looking for a monogamous, serious partner,’” — and instead suggests playful ones that make a point. “Maybe say something like, ‘Looking for someone to carve pumpkins with me and who will lend me their sweatshirt when we watch movies.’”

I came across anther article on the subject:

What the Pandemic Has Done for Dating

In a year when sharing space and air with people is potentially dangerous, one would think that dating would be particularly dismal, perhaps even put on hold. Recent data suggest that’s not quite the case, however, and even point to some positive developments: Many single Americans have been more intentional about whom they date, are having deeper conversations, and are spending more quality time with new partners.

The dating site OkCupid noticed a 20 percent decline in users seeking a hookup. These numbers are optimistic news for people looking for a relationship, given that research finds that couples who spend time getting to know each other before having sex have happier relationships later on. Prioritizing emotional connection allows romantic relationships to ignite via a slow simmer, rather than to burn out quickly.

Since the pandemic began, singles have also been more likely to branch out from their usual type of partner. People are now more likely, for example, to connect with someone of another religion. But people have notably been less open in one area: In this time of polarization, people are less willing to date someone with different political views.

In May, OkCupid reported a 700 percent increase in virtual dating. “My sense is that virtual dating in many ways is sort of a new step in the courtship process,” Justin Garcia, the director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, told me. “And I think it’s probably here to stay.”

Because meeting in person can be dangerous now, potential couples must be more deliberate about taking the next steps in their relationship. On Bumble, people can choose their dating preferences: virtual, socially distanced with mask, or socially distanced.

Fortunately for me, I've been able to maintain my dating life during the pandemic exactly as I was before.