Those 3 loves

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We Only Fall in Love with 3 People in Our Lifetime — Each One for a Specific Reason


'What it really comes down to is if we are limited by how we love, or instead love without limits. We can all choose to stay with our first love, the one that looks good and will make everyone else happy. We can choose to stay with our second under the belief that if we don’t have to fight for it, then it’s not worth having—or we can make the choice to believe in the third love.'


https://www.lovewhatmatters.com/we-only-fall-in-love-with-3-people-in-our-lifetime-each-one-for-a-specific-reason/

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My Pepe Le Skunk. I have so much faith in our love for one another. Thanks for being an amazing partner. x

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My 1st love is actually probably the one that comes closest to the 3rd type which is the lasting type, at least in the begging anyways. I was NOT looking for love but needed it. We had a major connection & things just fit for a while. She unknowingly saved my life cuz I was going through some stuff & I was ready to do something dangerous & stupid that would of got me killed or me & others killed. Her being there for me & us relating & having such a strong connection distracted me, gave me a reason to keep going, & a reason to feel better about myself & life. However our relationship kinda gradually turned from the 3rd type into the 2nd which is the hard type. Things become very difficult after a while because we both had various issues we were dealing with & we both had a lot of growing up to do. Things were also long distance & would of had to remain so for a long time. What was 1ce easy turned into an emotional roller-coaster with lots of drama, some emotional abuse & a bit of manipulation in the end coming from me more than her. The problems were much more my fault than hers. I ended up learning a lot from the experience & what I needed within a relationship. I was single a long time after despite my best efforts to find a relationship & I tried working on myself some during that time.

My 2nd relationship is probably closet to the 2nd type which is the hard type. Things didn't seem quite rite after a bit & there were some major issues & incompatibilities that started to show fairly quickly after our relationship started. I wanted it to work because I had been single 8 years straight with no luck even getting a date. I also believe that there is no such thing as a perfect relationship & I feel that others have not been willing to give me a real chance to prove myself. Others have been very quick to write me off for having too many problems so of corse I did NOT want to screw up that chance when I knew very well how d@mn lucky I was to even have another chance at love & a relationship. However I had a lot of the same issues & problems that I did in my 1st relationship. I noticed the pattern after a while & I had enough self-awareness to realize some of it was due to BAD anxiety & BAD OCD. I researched meds for that & got on a couple that helped but progress was too little to late to save things. Like my 1st relationship we were also long distance & eventually realized that we would of had to remain so for a long time. That was the final straw that caused her to break up with me. I was upset & hurt of corse but I guess I kinda saw it coming, I just did not want to admit & accept it. Looking back I cant really blame her & was very lucky she didn't do it sooner.

I would guess that my current relationship is kinda a mix of 2nd & 3rd types, the hard & the lasting type. We both have our various issues & problems but we both accept & understand each other better than anybody else does. Things are alot of work with a lot of highs & lows. We both learned & grew a lot. Most other couples probably would of broken up years ago but in some ways our relationship has improved a lot since the earlier days. In other ways things are more difficult now due to life sh!t, health issues, deaths in her family, & other family members needing her a lot more from her than they did when we got together. Each time I got in a relationship I felt it would be my last love & last relationship but I've been proved wrong 2wice now but I still really do NOT want to chance being proved wrong a 3rd time if I screw up my current one.

I still love & care about both my exes & I accept I always will but I also accept that I cant cross those bridges again. The person I am now probably could of made things work with my 1st & the person I was in my 1st & even my 2nd probably would of screwed things up in my current but I don't dwell on those What Ifs too much. Instead I try to use what I can from my past to avoid repeat mistakes & to improve things in my current as best I can.

I never really had an idealistic fairy-tale version of love. I probably knew I could NEVER measure up to that. Well there is a 4th time I fell in love but she very likely literally does not know I even exist so it's not relevant for that article.

If it is true that we only fall in love with three people in our lifetimes, then I must have at least a dozen different personalities in my head.