Tips on meeting men

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Hi:
I would like to find some clubs and groups where there is a shared interest because I would like to meet some men though I am not in any hurry. So far, I don't want to...
1. Meet people online through a dating site, I would much rather join some meet-up groups that are related to the shared interests, even if things are virtual or outdoors right now.
- I would like to join some meet-ups related to astronomy, geology, or a bible study
2. I have heard other autistic couples talk about avoiding meeting people at places like bars


My hair is super-short and several people have been telling me I look like a man. Any tips on keeping the short hair, while looking attractive and getting men to notice me?

No harm in joining some groups.

I did some meetups a long time ago (kinda surprised it still exists) but not for dating. Mainly finding rock climbing partners and doing the odd hike or mtbike ride. Recently some people have been squirrelly about facemasks and such but I'm usually in the middle of nowhere.

I'm definitely more comfortable with activity sites than dating sites which I assume most people here can relate.

Well in the days before meetups , and if your circle of friends was tiny . You could go to a bar , and use your best
Judgement , and then still your gonna prolly end up kissing a few frogs before you find your Prince Charming .
Met one of my longest relationships in a bar , which neither of us were very big drinkers , cause we both thought it wasn’t very healthy . Eventually ended up good friends , even after he moved away and married someone else .
We just had a lotta common views of the world . Was always kind to the bars bouncer, then they might even offer to walk you to your car if it was late.

Short hair is a major turn off for me personally, but not all men. Go to a good hair stylist and get it colored and get a trendy fashionable hair cut that complements your face. Maybe some women can help you with it for free even if you join some fb groups or something. Best tip for meeting men - look pretty and make yourself available. Your best bet is a man older than you and probably a nerdy type. You sound like a very nice person though, so I'm sure you can find a nice man for yourself.

hello Summer Twilight
Yere, I think for someone with ASD, but also NT
it may be better to steer clear of standard dating sites

although
listening to the description of yourself
about having short hair

that means nothing, really, when it comes to love
as your hair can change, but you, who you are is more constant

i know from my own experience
as I know of a younger woman who also has ASD
who has short tom boy hair, who I believe is one of the most beautiful women / girls I have ever seen
but especially because i have experienced her personality over a year or two

if you love someone or if they love you
then hair really has nothing to do with anything

a bit like the best chocolate in the world presented in a black wrapper with a red stripe or the best chocolate in the world presented with a blue stripe.... (with all other chocolate in the world being 50% less).

yep. I know of a beautiful girl who truly is beautiful, intelligent, has ASD, but has Aspergers (super clever type)
that has a tom boy hair cut, who i would love flawlessly, and follow around like a lost puppy. If only....

So. yep. never worry about small details.
To be honest, I wouldn't care what the girl i talk about's hair cut or dress sense was.
As she is really lovely, and sure she has ASD. but hey, we all have our challenges in life.

She really is a gem, not only in physique but also in person, 'cause she isn't a nob, she's someone
who i see as very sweet, clever, funny and cool.. good company... what else does one need?...
loyalty perhaps.... hard to gauge that....

but hey, sounds like a good thing, if only it could happen....

Try the website meetup.com, select your groups of interest. See what is in your area. The first time I joined, I was frozen and couldn't move (social anxiety). I placed my real face on the avatar so that someone from the group could identify me. Somebody eventually came to fetch me after seeing me, clinging to the pillar as if I was protecting it from falling over. After a few meetups, it became easier to meet people in public. It also helped that I got anxiety meds from my General Practitioner Doctor (GP), when going to malls. But now, only need it to sleep. Also of course, EMDR therapy helped. 3 to 5 years should do it, if you haven't started already.

Don't be scared to exchange numbers, have a backup phone. Today it is not uncommon to have a secondary phone. Give that number to someone you don't know, memorise the new number, so that it doesn't seem awkward when someone asks you for your number. But first, before giving any numbers for, social "coffee" key word for casual way of dating and keeping the dates cheap. Collect the numbers, but meet more people and get other people's opinion on the person before. The more confident you get at reading people and their intentions. The easier it will be. But it will take time. Build friendships with the people in the group, women in the meetup groups, have a tendency to look out for each other (grouping). Also try to be objective, sometimes, someone in the group could be biased, so you might end having to ignore their advice. They could be manipulative because they like the person too. But you will learn this over time as you get more exposure.

Apart from ease of maintenance, why the short hair?
Short hair can be a visual signal that a woman is a lesbian.

Lifestyle is a compromise.
Perhaps growing your hair is an acceptable one?

Also, usually, a nice skirt/dress is a give-away.
Some cleavage wouldn't hurt if you have it.

Short hair alone, even zero hair, doesn't make a woman to look less feminine nor like a man...at all, do you have square jaws?

It depends on the person who is "wearing" the hair and also the personal preference of the person viewing.
I believe most men prefer long hair.

My tastes are probably old tastes, but long hair epitomises femininity, more often than not.
It can also be a sign of health, which is an attractive aspect, also.

Sorry to be contrary
but I think that woman having short hair doesn't give the impression that a woman is a lesbian
Loads of extremely sexy beautiful woman have short hair
who are obviously not lesbians

this has been the way for years

lesbians also come in all shapes and sizes, as do gay men and transgender people
their hair cut doesn't designate their sexual orientation

My first serious girl friend had short hair due to the fashion at the time.
She was beautiful, and I loved her very much. She most certainly was no lesbian, I can tell you from experience.
(possibly bi-sexual, but i have no evidence to back up that statement).

I think that short hair on a woman can be really sexy, while still retaining sexual identify.
Sure, some lesbians may choose a "mans" short hair style in order to emulate male stereotypes,
but these days i really don't think a hair style indicates anything in terms of sexual identity.

I know some woman who are truly beautiful with short hair, and i like their tom boy look.
In a kind of love for innocent first love kind of way (as the tom boy theme is perhaps designed to rekindle the kind of crushes you may have had on young ladies when you were young. When young woman were less complicated and perhaps more innocent and pure in terms of intent).

Sorry but short hair is a no from me /Simon

We can pretend that looks don't matter, but they do. I'm all about finding inner beauty, but I have to be honest very very few women can pull off short hair in my eyes.

Lots of make-up and hoop earrings, if you like those sorts of things. If not, you can try a shirt or blouse with frills down the front, or maybe a shiny shirt. Maybe a really nice necklace if you like bling. Perhaps the right attitude could make your body language very attractive.

Platinum tips or pink tips would look really pretty. To counteract the "look like a man" effect, use some gentle makeup (don't over do it) and perhaps some pretty jewelry. Even if that's not really your style, you are asking how you could look more feminine while keeping the hair short, and this is how.

Bea, I was thinking of doing some silver blue tips, which I tried before and I love it. I also agree with a little make-up on. What about perfume?

don't forget to roll an 'anti perspirant' and 'deodorant' - don't just use a perfume while your sweat glands are making sweat in your arm pits.. you want the anti perspirant and deodorant combo to block the sweat glands from producing sweat and disable the sweat already produced...

There might be some clubs at a nearby college/university for astronomy & geology that might be doing virtual things rite now or online chats or posts. Since you mentioned bible study I would suggest that you try to meet people from church. Some churches are doing zoom services these days & might be on Facebook or have ways where you can chat with other members.

You may not expect me to say this but you could try to dress pretty or sexy. There are various ways to look pretty or sexy while having short hair. For pretty you could wear a pretty dress or skirt. It doesn't have to be super short or show off most of your cleavage. To dress sexy you show off a lot of skin or wear very tight cloths if you have the body for it. I'm not recommending you go for sexy but I thought I'd throw it out there. I don't know what the weather is like where your at but things are cold here so it's a lot harder to dress pretty or sexy when going out. All people can really see of you when you are all bundled up is your face & they can see your hair if your not wearing a hoodie or a hat. If it is cold where you are & you go to places where you can take off your jacket & hat, you could wear a pretty shirt under your jacket like something bright & colorful or something that has pretty pix that are winter themed if it is cold there(think winter wonderland). If you do meet people online like on virtual stuff or FB chatting, you could upload pix of you dressed pretty. & if you do vid chatting stuff, you could be dressed comfortable & casual. Don't look like you just got out of bed for vid stuff. Plenty of people are doing that nowadays. I should not need to specify this but some people are not bathing/showering, not washing their hair, not brushing/combing their hair, wearing very old & worn torn stained cloths, wearing lingerie, or wearing nothing at all for vid stuff. A judge had to require a suit & tie for vid chatting because a lawyer was not wearing a shirt when vid chatting or he was just in his underwear. I forget exactly but professionals like that need to be told how to dress so I felt the need to cover the basics. Things are f#cked-up when an Aspie who NEVER dressed fashionable unless it was a uniform required by work or school & wears old shorts & old plain white tShirts is dressed better in private at home than professionals who are vid chatting. I'll be d@mn sure to remember this next time someone makes a negative comment about the way an autistic dresses. At least we ARE dressed when we are seen by others we don't live with or have sex with.