my ex is disabled

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I've talked my relationship with ex-fiancé before, but I don't think I ever mentioned that she has cerebral palsy. That doesn't change the fact that she is extremely manipulative and she abused me emotionally. I think it is one more reason why nobody could believe that it was her who abused me and not the other way around.

When she approached me, part of the reason I dated her was because she was the only woman who had ever expressed interest in me and I was feeling desperate and afraid of being alone forever. But I was also afraid that I was being shallow if I didn't give her a chance because she is disabled.

The truth is that, even though I eventually got comfortable in the relationship, I never felt like I was actually attracted to her. In hindsight, I honestly don't think it was her disability that turned me off to her. I never thought she had a pretty face and I wouldn't have considered her my type even if she didn't have CP. I'd like to think that if I really liked somebody I wouldn't care if she has a disability. I remember a few years ago there was a disabled woman where I worked whom I thought was cute, though I never got to know anything else about her. But on the other hand, I think my experience with my ex has influenced me in some way, like I would feel weird about always dating disabled women.

Poor behavior doesn't discriminate.

So a human of any ability/disability, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, belief system, or neurology can be horrible or can be a great friend.

The only way to know is to get to know each person individually.

I hope you meet more kind people than rotten people.

hello.
sure. Although I guess, sometimes it is hard for others to understand why a person with ASD acts in the way that they do and due to a lack of understanding of the condition, it is hard to ascertain for some what is bad behaviour and what is part of a persons condition.

The way we ASD people act, can, to the uneducated onlooker, appear like very bad behaviour or when it comes to relationships, it can look from the outside like abusive behaviour on our part.

Although, the reason why we exhibit certain behaviours is because we suffer from ASD, but can also be caused by history between the individual with ASD and the person who we are in a relationship with.

People often judge based on their own perception of reality in context with their own values, rather than taking into consideration the circumstance a person may find themselves in around people who perceive the world in a completely different way to main stream culture.

For example, my ex-wife, when i met her, projected her self as a devout Jehovah Witness, and dictated that I live to an extreme version of the Jehovah Witness restrictive lifestyle which is considerably different to living life as a normal regular Jo in society.

And then, when she did lots of abusive things to me, while demanding that i live to her JW lifestyle, and I complained to her about her cheating on me despite her enforcing years of restrictive lifestyle restrictions.
The people who are from normal society decided i was abusive because i told her off for cheating.

But these people weren't JW's and did not live the restrictive lifestyle that I was forced to live and they had not been punished for doing extremely benign things that the JW's consider "evil" and part of Satans worlds.
I had been, at the hands of the ex. But the bullies moved in anyway.

So. context can change everything.

In many cases when it comes to people with a disability, and people who come from dysfunctional upbringings.
the people that we get involved with are often inevitably damaged goods, as we are.

So in the greater scale of things, the result is that both parties often feel abused, with some of the abuse being intentional, some of what is perceived abuse actually being unintentionally features of our disability and or mental illness.

So, to remain in a relationship of this nature, both parties have to have a lot of forgiveness, a lot of love and a lot of perseverance. More than I have though.

And like you, if i have lost the attraction for the woman due to the abuse that i have suffered over years,
I lose the will to fight to keep the relationship.

Sometimes, I wish the way society viewed relationships was much more liberal.
And people made having short term relationships a lot easier.

But never mind. Its the way the world is I guess.

I'm confident that my ex was very deliberately manipulative of me and others. I think some of the horrible treatment I've received from people around her was in part due to her manipulations of them as well. After the relationship ended, I started to learn a lot about how people with narcissisitic personality disorder conduct themselves in relationships and the effects their abuse have on their partners, and much fits to a scary degree.