You can't win arguments with women?

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I'd never try to keep anyone in a relationship I didn't personally believe they should be in or that they didn't want to be in, so no problem there.

My friends who almost split for good over a stressful issue when they were teenagers, otoh, I didn't allow that to happen because they were meant to be together. Now they're happily married with 3 kids.

Great.
I think we're meant to be sluts. My mental health can be better if not so involved.

And yet there's 9 pages of discussion?

I agree with this but a lot of the posts are specifically about the situation RetroGamer87 is in with his wife rather than about arguments with women in general. The thread title is perhaps unnecessarily provocative.

I feel like the thread title depicts frustration, rather than a desire to provoke.

Yeah, I didn't phrase it very well but definitely this ^

I completely agree. That's kind of the point. One of our ongoing arguments is where she says men should do this and women should do that and then I say men and women are the same.

The title of this thread comes from my partner's friend (who has similar attitudes) and her western husband. He said you can't win arguments against women. I wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted to prove that men and women are fundementally the same and that no sex has the exlusive right to win all arguments. No easy task because because inspite of her quirks my partner is a shrewd debator.

On Monday the baby got a cold. My partner went to the gym with the intent of leaving her at the childminding service there. I told her not to because she's probably infectious. To my surprise she went anyway. She came back a short time later saying the gym refused to accept her. Big surprise.

I wanted to take her to the doctor but my partner said there was no time. She said there was no time on Tuesday either because that's her childcare day. I said Tuesday not her childcare day because she's infectious. She said she'd leave it up to the doctor.

It turned out that we did have time to take her to the doctor that day. Not surprisingly the doctor ordered us to keep her out of childcare for now.

I'm really surprised that someone with two degrees in fields related to biology is ignorant of germ theory. I've long suspected she got someone else to write her masters thesis for her. It's certainly not her writing style. She claims that's because someone translated it for her but I have my doubts considering the subject is on soil bacteria.

Wow.

Absurd not to get the basics of germ theory & realize what's expected of people during a pandemic.. wtf? Even without a single class in Biology, never mind a couple degrees.

Wow - maybe someone else did write it. Tells you what kind of person she is.. I mean, how.. Machiavellian. Could be useful if her plans are Also mutually beneficial to you.. but damn, look out if they're not. She sounds pretty ruthless.

Yeah. She gets so mad if I say anything against her precious baby but screw the other kids, right? It's okay to kill all of them aparently.

This has been done before, while you are offering your sanity on a tray as a labrat. I think your priorities should be to escape this marriage.

Some people like mom will not back down in spite of proof, it's just, like she said after she noticed her beliefs are unfounded, 'im free to believe whatever I want'. Keep hoping to change their minds.

Your friend is, pardon my French, not very intelligent. He's also unhappy with his wife and thinks she is the specimen that guides all other female forces. He's never had a good interaction with a female or cannot in his head recall it.

Hoping to change his mind is useless especially if he's in a situation where he's gotta back down every time and believes it's the only way it'll work if men back down. In what relationship guide is this written?

Looking up to him is a mistake or hoping to guide him while he hopes to guide you because he's figured women out.
The dynamic between you two isn't helping either, why don't you just stick to just listening and support instead of advice.

His relationship is far from healthy and his approach far from smart or helpful to him. It's better if you don't take his advice or thoughts as truths and reject using yourself for proof. I think even searching data online might be more helpful to you, to send to him to prove him wrong and that women are very different.

I know you empathize with him because you are in similar situations but you don't owe him anything. Take more care of yourself as priority, if it harms you don't do it for a point to a person who refuses to documment themselves.

Even if his approach with his wife works for them, let's imagine that would be true, that doesn't mean it would work for your case.

Also, let's say you convince your wife. That only means you convinced your wife, not that he can convince his. Your approach is not to result in a universal truth, and if you so want to show this to him, what stops you from telling him a lie? Because now you know this wouldn't prove your point.
Also maybe in the past you have convinced women, maybe even your wife. Why not use the past as an example?

You don't have to lower to his level just to prove a point. It's easier to lie, if it's that necessary.

It's difficult. I tried to seperate from her today but she lives here and you can't just kick your partner out of your home even if you own it. They have laws against that. I checked.

In some ways it makes sense. I agree one partner shouldn't become homeless just because they separate. She was talking about buying her own home but I know that would take her a long time. Living with your ex is as awkward as hell.

By the evening we'd patched things up again, though I wonder if that might prove to have been a mistake.

I'm just, I'm just not sure that I can go back to the banality of living by myself and watching Youtubue all the time like I used to.

You're right. He's not. I figured that out after I heard about his ghost hunting hobby. The one where they try to prove buildings are haunted by misusing electronic equipment and listening to random static on a radio that isn't tuned into a station.

Even his wife doesn't believe in ghosts. Mine does oddly enough.I suspect that is true. He's very shy and he doesn't have any magnatisism. I probably shouldn't say this but he's not much of a looker either.

I don't plan on changing his mind. At first I wanted to see if he was right. After we in this thread determined that he isn't my next goal became to demonstrate that he's wrong. Yes I've won a few arguments with my partner since then but it bugs me that my wins are never based on facts. One of us always ends up winning the battle with some power-play rather than using a well-sourced scientific fact.

That's just what he does. The only time he doesn't is when he gets bullied by his even more manipulative mother. When he recieves conflicting orders from his Agnes Skinner like mother and his wife he may obey his mother and defy his wife.

It was written by his wife.

I don't look up to him. I really don't. I don't hope to guide him either. His wife wants me to train him to be more assertive but I believe it's impossible.

Let me get this straight, his wife wants him to back down because he could never win against a woman while at the same time be more assertive. Something just doesn't click between those two things.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_bind
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... ryday-life

Sort of like being told to "show your feelings" and "stop being emotional", practically in one breath.

Also called "crazy-making speech".