What are your thoughts on Polyamory or Polygamy?

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There's an evolutionary reason why monogamy prevailed.

Limited STD spreading is one of them.

A lot of men tend to 'drift' (sexually) sometimes if given the chance, but that's polygamy in physical sense only, not even polyamory.

It's not even popular in Muslim communities.

When I'm in a relationship with someone I am obsessed with them & cant imagine being with anybody else. I'm also too insecure to really handle my partner being with someone else besides me. I have no problem with others having those kinds of relationships thou if they are all honest about it & it works for all those involved. I also support making those kinds of marriages legal. I do have one exception to the cant imagine being with anybody else thing I said in my 1st sentence thou. Over 10 years ago I developed a MEGA HUGE crush obsession with a celebrity & I ended up falling in love. The crush obsession stopped when I got my 2nd girlfriend but came rite back when that relationship ended about half a year later. It went away again for a bit when I got my current girlfriend but came back after like a year. I really do love my current girlfriend & I'm obsessed with her as well. I could never cheat on Cass or anyone, it's too dishonest & I have a majorly strong sense of loyalty. I would chose to stay with the person I was with if I had a choice of either one as long as I thought she would still want to be with me long term. Besides Cass makes me feel needed & useful whereas Miranda could have any guy she'd want, he'd be a d@mn fool to reject her unless he thought he was dreaming or hallucinating. In a parallel universe, alternate dimension type thing I would be happy to marry both but realistically I would settle for just being Miranda's friend but I have NO clue how to make that happen so never tried. I would of never developed the crush obsession with Miranda if I woulda been in a relationship then. Maybe my sense of loyalty is partly why I still have that crush obsession. I still love both my exes but I accept that things are over & they are very likely much better off without me. I torched those bridges so I could move on with my life. Whereas with Miranda I cant set a bridge on fire if there never was one there except in my head. My OCD might be a factor but I've been on OCD medication 9 years now & my OCD is a lot better than it used to be but the crush obsession was not affected. There is some debate about it being a delusional disorder but getting on an antipsychotic has not affected that. I'm on my 2nd one since then but I've only been on low doses of both. Talking about it gets me nowhere & I could go on & on or on & on analyzing in my mind. I'm too realistic & too well grounded to do or try anything crazy at this point in my life but I'm also too crazy not to be tortured by it. Maybe I need to be hit on the head really hard or given ECT or something but I'm too well grounded to try doing anything like that without close medical supervision. Crushing sure makes me feel like I was hit on the head very hard & I've had various bad physical & mental symptoms when I was crushing majorly hard that maybe I should make a post about cuz I'm suddenly wondering if those crushing symptoms are kinda common amongst those of us on the spectrum. Don't know when or if I'll get around to that post thou.

I've seen some movies where guys are married to multiple women or they are pretending to be to them & neither women knows about the other & I'm thinking How the hell can those guys carry on a secret double life with two families I find having a boring life with one exhausting. I woulda posted this in that thread Boo made a couple months ago about stupid things that only work in movies but I heard one of those movies was based on a true story. I haven't seen those movies since I was a kid or teen & don't remember their names unfortunately. I think the Rodney Dangerfield movie, My 5 Wives would be much more realistic & I'm surprised myself for just typing that a Rodney Dangerfield movie would be realistic

i don't have the cognitive bandwidth in my social brain [what there is of it] to handle that. but i defend to the death [or at least a bruising] your right to consort in any way you all find mutually satisfactory. now and then, being the "bread" in a sex sandwich would be fun.

I'm totally in support of consenting adults doing that kind of thing if they want. But I don't think it's for me. I'm a bit of a romantic in many parts of life, including, well, romance. I just like the idea of courting and being with one special person. I think I'd feel pretty hurt if my partner was going out with other people, and I have no interest in going out with more than one person. Maybe I'm just a little insecure. Or maybe polyamory appeals to certain personalities more than others. But I certainly don't judge couples that choose to do that.

my fantasy would be a sexy babe who was also special, but that is an extremely rare combo.

In theory it sounds great to me. As someone in a long(long) term relationship there have of course been other people that I would have liked to have had deeper emotional, and yes physical, relationships with, but was unable to because the relationship I'm in doesn't allow for it. There seems to me to be something wasteful and sad about that. The more love and understanding, the less we get entrenched in our individualness, the better as far as I'm concerned.

In reality, I think it would require extraordinary self-awareness, selflessnesses, ego-control and self-esteem and I just see very few humans who have those things in the required amounts. I think most of us would have to do a lot of work psychologically to get to the state where we could operate that way safely.

A whole nested polyamorous society would lead to a STD pandemic disaster.

There’s no guarantee that one of the 3-4 poly circle wouldn’t have a relation with someone in another poly circle and so on.

HIV is not the only nasty STD out there.

It's an absolute miracle of science, in my opinion, that HIV has been put under control. And that, through medication, the disease process could be made virtually dormant.

It was very bad in the 80s and 90s.

I was once offered a chance to go "three ways." I said "hell no!"

Yes...of course we have quite a few nasty STD's out there. Syphilis, Gonorrhea, etc.

I don't think that polyamory is going to cause an STD epidemic. The biggest thing that helps prevent the spread of STDs is education, protection, and open attitudes that lead to regular testing and healthy communication. At least from my understanding. There's nothing stopping poly people from being aware and taking care of themselves. Maybe in the past when transmission of STDs was not as well understood it would have been inherently risky.

It makes intuitive sense that polyamory would lead to a significant increase in the risk of STD transmission, but I would need to do more research before believing it.

https://www.nature.com/articles/ncomms11219

Nope.

It would mean I won't be giving the absolute maximum to my SO, as I am a finite resource. Does that sound like a good idea? Yes, you are right. It's not.