Is a Woman Unworthy

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Because they don't have a boyfriend or partner?

It has been implied by some individuals whom either suffer from mental illness or whom work for the mental health system that I should feel unworthy (and I can't stipulate enough that I am not egoist by nature so have no time for this I am worthy/unworthy nonsense when I have real life problems to sort out) and hate myself because I have been fortunate enough in life to meet a compatible mate that I can be happy with.

Do you feel that a woman (on the spectrum or otherwise) should be made to feel less by society because they are still single?

PN I do sometimes feel lonely but this is not the same as seeing myself as worthless or defective because I do not have a mate.

To be fair, whether this is someone projecting upon you because you're a women, or because you're autistic there certainly are people who do feel they're viewed as less by society because they are chronically single. A lot of people on here report that experience. But, notwithstanding; it's them not grasping how you view the world and making the assumption that you must feel that way because they can't conceive of not feeling that way in that situation.

It might be due to internal biases or it might be due to hearing that experience over-and-over-again until the point they lose sight that not all individuals feel that way.

Last edited by funeralxempire on 21 Mar 2021, 2:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

No not at all... and also not having a partner right now does not mean you cannot meet one.

That said it is disturbing to me that people in mental health professions would, condone implying that kind of idea...like what the hell, mental health professionals are supposed to you know help people with mental health not sabotage them. And for sure putting forward the idea someone is 'unworthy' because they are single right now or because they have mental health issues is pretty sh*tty.

sure if a persons mental health issues are preventing them from treating others in a non-harmful manner, maybe they have some work to do before they can be ready for a relationship. but simply having mental health issues does not make you unworthy...its possible to manage mental health and still maintain a relationship even if you're not 'cured' of the mental problem. I've been doing it for 5 years.

I would report the mental health worker and have their licence revoked for suggesting/implying this. It breaches their code of ethics/conduct.

Agreed, people whom have mental health issues have relationships all the time.

The problem I find with mental health sevices is that:

1 They keep misdiagnosing me and insist on trying to give me support for the wrong difficulties which has not only impacted my ability to have a relationship but has caused me so much mental and emotional distress that if I had the power to do so I would seek compensation for it. More so than that I'd like our present mental health system dismantled and a more humanitarian one put up in its place.

2 They ignore any physical illness I may be suffering from and act as if anyone whom has a mental health label (even if it is a midiagnosis) can never get sick with anything that is 'real'. I was once offered mental health support by an official from my housing association for a pulled muscle in my back for example.

3 They keep trying to push a belief system on me that is irrational and unbalanced, I.E. if I am unemployed I don't care much for sitting around judging myself. Instead I'd rather find a way to improve my skill set, improve my C.V. and widen my search for a job in an attempt to resolve the problem. I would very gently advise others to follow a similar pattern as being unemployed is really just a circumstance and does not amount to worthlessness as people presently seem to perceive it. People have many reasons for not being able to work or find a job (everything from various disabilties to the socio-economic climate and so on and so forth) and judging them negatively for it is non productive or beneficial, especially if they are unable to change the circumstances they find themselves restricted by.

I find societies prejudice towards those whom are in a more vulnerable subset of society appauling and will not promote or support ideas that clearly lack any compassion and understanding.

The mental health services in the UK are laced with so much prejudice and discrimination that I doubt they help anyone, in fact I would say, they are more likely to mess a person up instead.

I have made complaints against the NHS and MHS in the UK before. It merely goes around in a circle and goes nowhere.

I suggest that the system as it stands needs to be dismantled and rebuilt again in a form that actually benefits and helps people.

It sounds like our national disability insurance scheme here in Australia. They are staffed by incompetent people who to this day block my daughter from getting 1 cent in support funding despite an official diagnosis.

For a neurotypical or anyone for that matter, to declare someone neurodivergent “unworthy” of anything at all is an indicator of their lack of understanding of who and what we are. They are totally clueless if that’s how they view someone on the spectrum. They are letting themselves and their profession down.

Why would anyone even consider such a question? No. A woman isn’t unworthy if she doesn’t have a mate. This is the height of ridiculousness.

The only “unworthy” people are those who make themselves unworthy through some action (e.g., beating up somebody just for the thrill of it).

It was the opposite for me. A big reason I was single & looking with no luck for 8 years straight was because others believed that I was unworthy. I'm wondering if your from an area like the deep south OP. I'm from there originally & there can be a lot of societal pressure & the traditional gender roles that teaches girls that women are supposed to be married. I do NOT think that someone is any less than anyone else on the basis that they are single & not in a relationship. There are TONS of reasons a woman or man may be single. As I said I know from personal experience that being thought unworthy can majorly contribute to someone being single but NO-one is unworthy because they are single. Being thought unworthy for being single seems like a catch 22 situation like job searching. When you have no previous employment history or experience when searching for a job, most managers would toss your app out because they think that not having employment history or experience means that something must be wrong with the person & they'd rather not chance it. They have the mindset of, "If no-one else is willing to give you a chance Why should I?"

Unworthy of what?

The answer is no. But I'm not sure what you mean by unworthy? Do you mean of having relationships at all, of having friendships, of having respect or a place in society?

Personally I don't give a **** what people think of my autism or the reasons why I remained single for a long time.

They probably wouldn't want to know the gory details, and they're likely unworthy of hearing them anyway.

No, because a person doesn't need a partner in order to be an asset to society or worthy of acceptance.

I'm sorry to hear that you're receiving such messed-up mental health services.

If you haven't done this already, I would suggest that you post a thread somewhere on Wrong Planet (I'm not sure where on here would be best, maybe the Members Only area?) about "UK mental health services". We do have plenty of members in the UK, some of whom might be able to give you some good UK-specific advice.