Traveling To A Different Country To Find Love.

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What do you think of the idea of traveling to a different country to find love?

I am a 5 ft 3 white male living in the midwest United States who's currently 26 years old. My height and naturally light physique is a major handicap in my culture since women typically want men who are bigger and taller than they are and are opposed to dating a shorter and smaller man. And at 5 ft 3 and 112 pounds, I am shorter and certainly lighter than most american women. The majority of women where I live exclusively go for white guys of at least average height, even short women are in relationships with tall guys.

Which is why I came up with an idea that perhaps I would consider doing in the future. What if I tried looking for love in a different country where my height wouldn't be as big of a handicap?


For instance, in The Philippines, the average height of a woman is only 5 ft tall and they are typically lighter compared to american women as well. At my height, I would be taller than the average Filipino woman. Not only that, I heard that being white is seen as a desirable trait in that country because white skin is associated with wealth.

In other places such as Mexico and much of South America, people are shorter there as well. Latina women are shorter and smaller compared to white women which means my height may be less of a deal-breaker in these countries. The drawback is that I would have to learn Spanish, which to be honest I might consider doing if it's my only shot of finding love.


I don't want to be single for the rest of my life.

I've thought about doing that but unfortunately there's a quite a bit of xenophobia in my family (primarily coming from the many relatives I have in law enforcement) so that's essentially a no-go

I've thought of traveling to Germany to look for love. A lot of fish that are my type live there.

The best girlfriend I had was a cute petite Mexican girl from NYC who ran her father's successful restaurant (it was recently featured on the local news). We broke up due to a sexual incompatibility but we're still friends

I'd just cut the cancer from my life instead of letting their terrible attitudes limit me.

Travelling to a country and living in a different country are two different things. I've done both. Whilst travelling to looking for a partner it won't often realistically work out due to the time restrictions. So then moving it is. You'll need a job and a house, some places rquire a degree so you should research that part first.

I do get your frustration though. I’m the same height as you and nearly everyone i have dated has been over 6ft not by choice, just happened to work out that way.

I met my wife overseas, and in a country that was foreign to both of us.  We have been married 25+ years.

It is one workable solution. Aspie males tend to share a common trait:

A relationship with someone who has Aspergers tends to be free from bias and discrimination based on race, gender, age or other differences. They judge people based on their behavior not the color of their skin, socioeconomic status or political influence.

As a result many Aspies are freer to break the mold, break typical convention and plot a different path.

Yikes!

Is there anything you can possibly do to try to counteract the xenophobia in your family?

(This question should probably be discussed in PPR rather than here, should you wish to brainstorm it.)

Move away and start a new family.

There are many women who are sick of the crap----and would definitely go out with a man who is not conventionally "macho."

I'm short (5 foot 4 3/4), and a bit hefty (160 lbs).

It's seems to be true that short women might like tall guys----but taller women sometimes like shorter guys. And there are many, many tall feminine women around. Most women on the subway happen to be taller than me.

If you want to live in a place like the Philippines, I would advise you to research the country, research its provinces and cities, and research ex-pat sites. Research the ex-pat sites because they tell you about the logistics of living in a place like the Philippines.

My wife and I are having our son build our retirement home on a farm in the Philippines.

Cutting off ties with one's family is a radical step. Alas it may be necessary, but IMO it would be much better to find an effective way to counteract their attitudes if possible. But, if that's not possible, then I agree that cutting them out of one's life, if necessary, would probably be better than being limited by their terrible attitudes.

EDIT: I speak as an old-school LGBTQ+ rights activist who was around back in the days when we worked hard to counteract bigotry, not just "cancel" it (which we weren't in any position to do). For example, at some point when I was in college, after several years of occasional discussions and debates with my parents, I finally got my father to admit that he didn't know enough about homosexuality (and bisexuality) to make a judgment about it.

I'm not really in a position to cut ties due to a.) my family has done a lot for me. b.) I'm set to inherit quite a bit of $$$ when my grandparents pass away and don't want to jeopardize it

At least you're thinking clearly

I have thought about finding a woman in Germany but i dont think i would.