Are men

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not considerate when it comes to sex?

That depends on the man.

I've come across quite a few cis guys who seem to think being virgins is on the same level as being a survivor of rape as far as it's a problem to the individual.

Most of those kinds of guys are the kind of guy who don't listen to women or other afab people.

It's sad because 1 in 6 amab people (and most people are cis so this will be mostly men and boys) get raped.

We should all be on the side of victims. None of us should be trying to goad someone else into sex or into sexual situations/sexual conversations etc. All of us should be mature enough to handle it when someone says 'no'. This shouldn't be gendered.

They recently polled young women and 97% of them have experienced some form of sexual harassment. That's not ok.

The way I see it, we either technically * have incels in society or we have widespread rape in society. Because people won't want to have sex with everyone. The mature thing is to accept that not everyone will want to have sex with you, it might take a little while to 'lose virginity' (nebulus term anyway) and move on - building friendships or hobbies or self worth.

* Technically cos it's a state of mind. Just being a virgin and not wanting to be anymore and not being able to get rid of it is a sad situation. It doesn't mean that you're an 'incel' which requires swallowing misogynist propaganda and becoming a scumbag.

Entirely joking ... I liked your view as this is how it *should* be. The question though “Are men not considerate when it comes to sex?” If I were a man, I would take it upon myself to ensure I learned and understood *how to treat a lady respectfully, ensuring no physical/emotional harm came to her in intimacy matters. As a woman, we are at the mercy of a man’s strength over us physically, unless we’re martial arts/body builders ourselves.

Some men are not going to ever care about a woman’s needs ... goes without saying unfortunately. There is good and there is bad in this world. A woman can only live and learn. I fully appreciate the importance of comunication ... in a healthy relationship. What you know instinctively as opposed to what you actually encounter in a relationship, marriage or otherwise can be a shock.

Agrees with Juliettes post and thinks Fnord post was good also , it does come down to communication and consideration in my humble opinion . Wonders if the idea “might makes right” is what is the operational commandment for men, when it comes to intimacy . But must admit to some experiential bias .

It would certainly be a gross generalization to say that "all men are not considerate when it comes to sexual matters."

It runs the gamut. Some men are extremely considerate; others really don't give a darn about how a woman feels.

Like most things, I like to assess things on an individual level.

I'd appreciate if someone defined what "considerate" means in this context. Thanks!

Guess this is the right forum to discuss those things ,but am not going to take that bait .
Good communication leads to good considerations, I might expect .

In this context, I find that "considerate" means thinking about your partner's sexual satisfaction, as well as your own sexual satisfaction.

Agrees with kraftie !

^ My laugh echoed around the office.

We'll just make a ruling that you always win by default.