Let's talk about Incels

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While Incel forums are rife with misogyny, everyone seems to completely ignore that they promote self-hate just as much. While there have been a few highly publicized instances of tragic acts of violence associated with the incel community, I am confident that there are thousands more incidents of sad lonely individuals quietly ending their own lives that nobody ever hears about. Now I don't mean to excuse the misogyny of incels, but consider this:

I have never engaged in any incel forums or identified as an incel, but I do have experience as a man who has been unable to get a girlfriend his entire life, and more specifically how society treats people in my situation. For over 15 years, pretty much anywhere I went on the Internet to talk about my frustration, I was constantly met with hate and mockery. I was called every name in the book. Deemed a pathetic loser and mocked by other men, and accused of feeling "entitled to sex" by women. I've been accused of being a troll on several occasions. Mocked and ridiculed by both men and women, and even threatened with violence. Feminists deemed me a misogynist simply for the crime of having feelings. What was missing anywhere I went were any sense compassion, empathy, or understanding. And I assume that the experiences of others in my situation are similar.

So what does that have to with incels? These people scoured the Internet (and possibly IRL as well) looking for help and understanding. And what they found instead was a never ending barrage of hate, particularly from the "woke" end of the spectrum that supposedly exists to offer empathy and compassion. So imagine how someone, after months or possibly years of receiving of nothing but bile and hate, finally finds a place that accepts him. It might be a vile toxic echo chamber promoting self-hate, misogyny, violence, and self-harm; but to him it seems like a safe-haven that shelters him from a society that hates him, and the only place where he can finally find other people who recognize his pain and offer him understanding. Most of them may have not fallen into the incel trap if they had received compassion and understanding when they needed them most.

IMHO, Incels are just another sad example of a group whom society has shoved over the edge with its never-ending cruelty, and then blames them for falling into the trap they were forced into.

I also suspect that a large portion of the incel community is made up of men who are on the spectrum or have other developmental or mental disorders. These are individuals who are likely highly susceptible to the psychological effects of toxic echo chambers. Please keep that in mind while thinking about this matter.

I have seen this and the other threads you have going right now. You seem to be going down a very dark path. If you keep looking for the answers only you want to hear, you won't get any happier.

I don’t mock you.

I just feel you’re misguided, and read too much bs on the Internet.

If I had trouble finding a romantic partner, I would despair like you…..but I wouldn’t subscribe to erroneous theories. I would make use of critical thinking skills.

There is no one to “blame”—it’s just crap circumstances.

WP is an outlier in this regard.

I do think we're starting to see a shift toward more understanding regarding autism and autistic people who struggle with dating and loneliness.

However, it is going to take a much greater societal effort to repair the damage done by whole incel phenomenon and rehabilitate those who have already fallen into the trap years ago. Continuing to demonize and dehumanize incels will only make things worse by putting them on the defensive. I we are going to solve this problem, society needs to start treating incels as individuals who need psychiatric care rather than pitch forks.

I've been reading some of your posts. I see where you are coming from. But what do you suggest we do? Throw away all technology and go back to being hunter gatherers living in caves? Go back to having no protection from predators or diseases and having an average life expectancy of 20?

This is already well researched scientifically and some of it slowly makes it into urban planning, health and nutrition guidelines and healthcare. But it will take like couple decades to catch up. Until then our well being is up to us.

My advice to the OP: dude, you NEVER, EVER want to advertise anywhere in ANY "incel" forum!! !
That's a red badge of persecution, a really, really stigmatized place to call attention to yourself in.

Not only is it an invite towards all kinds of vitriol thrown in your direction, it could be a threat to your safety if someone finds out more about your whereabouts, heaven forbid.
For those toxic masculinity types, incels are like the lambs and they're like the lions, if ya know what I mean. There's something visceral in their primate brains that says "INFERIOR. MUST DESTROY."

They also viscerally link "incel-types" to all the stereotypes of Aspie folk that they conjure up (even if they don't know what an Aspie is) - e.g. "that quiet loner", "that weirdo that nobody liked", "that freak who just didn't get it", etc.

I recall even back in the '90s in my early-to-mid twenties, long before the "incel" label was coined, some toxic types picked up on "that type" in me, and I even got death threats / threats of serious harm on college online discussion groups.
So, it's always best not to advertise this part of yourself, such as it may be...out of self-preservation.
Even police may be biased if called upon to help: after all, they are predominantly "Chads" or perverse alpha males, who may side with their own brethren who persecute you.
Don't think that police won't always put their professional obligations before their personal biases...we've seen enough of that in the news already (with Blacks, or the mentally ill).

It's also cyanide for the soul. I'd advise you instead to post in a forum (with a fake identity) all about men who have had success with women but with a "WTF?" kind of angle, like where you had some girl on the go but she was still talking about her ex and you were wondering if she'd cheat, that sort of thing, that "normals" are more inclined to discuss - then it will not only be an ego boost, but you might get some unexpected tips