Confused... Need Help...

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Forgive me in advance for being short sentenced, I am far to confused and stressed to think elaborately at the moment.

Im in Love. Girl, known her for 1 year 2 months and 17 days. She knows I have Aspergers (Didnt tell her, she deduced it herself, quite brilliant she is). She has a boyfriend she loves.. She talks about him all the time.. I want to tell her how I feel about her but I have 3 fears.
In order of Importance to me.
1. Cause her emotional stress
2. Her less than intelligent boyfriend finds out and get angry at her and not me. ( I would much rathered getting beat down by him than he cause her any type of pain)
3. Lose an important friendship.

These emotions are ripping at me and telling me to tell her.. but I cant tell her.I cant hold this inside much longer without having a breakdown.. Somene help me please...

EDIT: Fixed spelling errors.. mainly in my misspelling of my own diagnosis.

Write her poems,
expending your energy
on them. But don't deliver
them.

Well, there is NO way to prevent
from causing her stress, otherwise.

The other issues are far harder to
judge. If your priorities included
that you wanted her, somewhere
amongst them, maybe I'd offer
differently, but with your great
selflessness, 'tis not worth the
risk. Nor apparently, is the cost
to yourself important to you.

Now, if you were dishonest in
your factors, well, the world is
a different place.

Lying is for those who are to weak to tell the truth. YOu insinuating that I was lying offended me greatly. As much as I would love to be with her, I prefer her being happy with someone she loves. My happiness comes second to that. If you understood what I said when I said LOVE. You would know I meant the real thing, the thing that turns that persons happiness a notch above your own. I have no option but to be selfless in the matter if I want her to remain happy.

You wont be lying. You'd be just keeping quiet. I don't think you should say anything as she already has a boyfriend and unless she tells you she wants to break up with him AND does so, you keep saying nothing.

Now see. Why cant I think of stuff like that. I sit here and listen to this bird guy ramble on insinuating that I am lying about my priorities, and you come and make perfect sense out of this. Thank you.

Calandale.. Your advice.. well.. Your accusations.. are quite rude.

I agree with the post above. I was like that and it made things worse.

Whoa.

First, tell us what it is you love about her.

Second, how do you know that if you tell her you love her and she tells her bf that he won’t clobber you? (This is why an NT would never entertain the idea)

Third, wait it out, be a great friend, and wait it out. This is why they make so many movies about chicks falling for the guy friend. It rarely happens, but using the L word on a taken woman is a no-no.

Fourth, if she liked you as more than a friend, she would never mention her bf around you. This is how an NT gives a hint (never direct). Also, anyone who talks about their bf all the time has relationship problems. So, it may fall apart. Or you may only be paying attention when she talks about the bf and think it is happening more than it is.

Fifth, if you really need to express yourself, start off with a nice compliment such as “I wish I could find a girl like you”. Whatever her response, ask her “Have you ever thought of the two of us?”. Please be prepared for a let down. Don’t take it personally. It’s not you, it’s her and her interests and likes and what she expects from the world. Using the L word surely will make her uncomfortable enough to dissolve the friendship.

If, she says she has thought of the two of you as a couple, just say “cool” and end that conversation. Give yourself time to mull over what happened and what your next step could be.

Sixth, what are you going to do for the next 2 years, whatever months and days with her just as a friend? Is it possible that you can love her and still “date” others until she possibly comes around?

If you do something, you will damage the friendship, and she won't be with you. Just leave s**t alone until the relationship with the boyfriend naturally ends(most do), then try to destroy your friendship by getting greedy. Doing it the other way around is just sloppy.

Too bad I got demodded.