Crystal1414 wrote:
My ex boyfriend and I dated 3 times and then he ghosted me for a year. Suddenly he appeared in my life again. He wants back in my life but I feel really uncomfortable. My parents feel uncomfortable with me being around him. He also has autism and he understands what I go through. He just has some boundary issues and doesn't listen when people say that they are uncomfortable. He used to stare at me really creepily and I couldn't handle it. Im just not sure if I feel ok about letting him in my life.
First, some questions: Is there anything about him that you
like? Do you have mixed feelings about him, or are you
just uncomfortable with him? Do you see any potential for a good relationship if only he would deal with his issues? Do you have anything significant in common with him besides autism? Do you have any common hobbies, or is there anything else you enjoy doing together? Do you have any significant shared values? And are you attracted to him?
If you do see any potential for a good relationship:
I would suggest that you write him a letter explaining, in detail, exactly what your issues with him are, and tell him that you do not feel comfortable letting him back into your life
unless he is willing to seriously commit to working on these issues and/or at least brainstorm with you a mutually acceptable compromise on them. Then follow up on this letter with a conversation with him, and see what happens.
If things don't work out between the two of you, then at least both you and he will be clear on the reasons why.
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