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How to attract women despite you have Aspergers

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rse92
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23 Dec 2021, 5:18 pm

One of the reasons I am grateful that I did not receive an ASD diagnosis until I was 60 was that I dated and met my first wife, my second wife, and several women in between and was not encumbered by the baggage of autism, insecure and always doubting and second-guessing myself (the way I now find myself at times). Now behavior of mine that was autistic was a significant contributing factor to my divorce and has caused issues in my second marriage, but I was quite capable of charming a woman; it was really in the relationship stage that stereotypical autistic behavior reared its head. Had I known I was autistic when I was 44 it might have saved my first marriage. Our behavior can convey insensitivity, lack of empathy, rudeness, thoughtlessness even though we mean nothing of those sorts.



WantToHaveALife
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23 Dec 2021, 8:53 pm

i know i still get depressed and bitter, resentful whenever i see couples out there younger than me, primarily teenage couples and early 20s couples



nick007
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24 Dec 2021, 6:49 am

blitzkrieg wrote:
Yep. There's nothing creepy for me either with being stalked by women I am interested in. I only get worried or feel bad if they believe or seem to have an opinion of me that is not true.
I think that's cuz some of us guys are very used to not having women into in us & being stalked tends to be much more dangerious for women. Plus guys tend to be interested in sex more than women. There are plenty of exceptions of corse.

Whenever someone has a wrong opinion about me, it's almost always bad so that would not be an issue with anyone who is into me.


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WantToHaveALife
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25 Dec 2021, 3:39 pm

i have a lot of envy and resentment towards couples out there younger than me, especially couples that are 10-15 years younger than me



cyberdad
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25 Dec 2021, 10:10 pm

rse92 wrote:
One of the reasons I am grateful that I did not receive an ASD diagnosis until I was 60 was that I dated and met my first wife, my second wife, and several women in between and was not encumbered by the baggage of autism, insecure and always doubting and second-guessing myself (the way I now find myself at times). Now behavior of mine that was autistic was a significant contributing factor to my divorce and has caused issues in my second marriage, but I was quite capable of charming a woman; it was really in the relationship stage that stereotypical autistic behavior reared its head. Had I known I was autistic when I was 44 it might have saved my first marriage. Our behavior can convey insensitivity, lack of empathy, rudeness, thoughtlessness even though we mean nothing of those sorts.


Excellent post. It highlights how not letting knowledge of a diagnosis (and associated baggage/labels) doesn't encumber your interaction with NTs. But at the same time knowing why you might appear to lack empathy, be rude, thoughtless is linked to your diagnosis and help you to move toward fixing these.

I can see now there are certainly pros and cons to knowing if your personal traits are autistic or not.



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26 Dec 2021, 5:15 pm

sometimes i feel like having a relationship is not worth it deep or late into adulthood, its not worth it if you didn't experience it in your youth, formative years