I just don't undestand him

Post Reply New Topic

(warning this may be all over the place bear with me please)

So, I am in my 20s, and so is he, and we went to the same college together. So I haven't spoken to this guy in about two years since this whole virus started and he suddenly starts to text me again saying how he matured so much and how he's changed etc. I stopped talking to him previously because he would lie all the time, about the littlest of things. He couldn't make up his mind, one minute he would say how great I was etc. then he would text me the next day saying how he met someone new and he apologizes to me, then a week later he'd tell me it didn't work out and he made a mistake and wants to go out with me again telling me the woman he went out with just wanted his money just wanted to use him. So I'm like okay, and now here were are 2 years later, and the conversation was going pretty okay we've been talking for a couple of weeks and he's been friendly, he sent me pictures of his new car etc. I feel like he tries to impress me with his material possessions but I haven't said anything.

It got kind of weird, a few nights ago, he wanted to come over my house at 2 in the morning, I denied politely and I could tell this struck a nerve because his text got very short and he didn't say anything the rest of that night. Next day he asks me out, I agree but I make sure he understands my comfort zone, I don't go to crowded places etc. We were suppose to go out to eat around 10 or 11 in the morning when the place wouldn't be so crowded then he messages saying can we go at 6 instead because the restaurant moved our reservations to a later time when the restaurant is the busiest. I tell him no and that we can do something else instead. (I won't get into but I have my personal reasons for avoiding crowded places) and that's when his text get all short again, and he doesn't message me for hours, then tells me he's in a bad mood, and I haven't heard a word from him for a while.

I feel like I don't connect to anyone, I haven't spoken to any real person in two years, outside of family and I feel like just to keep a guy or anyone around I have to be agreeable and say yes to everything and it makes me so uncomfortable. I've been in similar situations being polite and agreeable and it never ends well, sometimes I feel like I owe the other person just for putting up with me. I'm not sure if I should just forget about him or try to message him again to get to the bottom of this.

I wouldn't say that you wouldn't connect with anyone. I would however say that this guy sounds like I wouldn't be able to trust him. Changing plans on a dime because "they changed our reservations to 6 pm" suggests a hidden motive to me. Sounds like he gets sour grapes when he doesn't get his way with someone.

So once again... it's definitely not you or a problem for you to connect when it is clear the other guy doesn't know how to connect with anyone himself.

I'd forget about him, doesn't sound worth your time. And if anything seems they should be polite and agreeable for you putting up with them. I kind of suspect he hasn't really 'changed' that is just another one of his lies.