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Would you date me if I were at my goal weight of 140?

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Pepe
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15 Nov 2021, 4:09 pm

Skjald wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
Stereotypical heavy metal look is just as unaesthetic and infantile for people who are not fans of the genre, I'm aware of that even though I personally like this look.



What is the stereotypical heavy metal look to you? I'm curious.


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Goethe was an ultimate emo, though. "Simple people like bright colors" is an example of what you describe as "some even arrogant believing themselves superior because they were more in touch with their emotions or some s**t."


What else can I do to make an obvious joke obvious other than to mark it with those ":lol: :wink:" ?
Because it apparently failed.
I don't actually believe in Goethe's colour theory, I just think it's funny.


This is a problem, generally speaking (and not referring to this thread).
I suggest you *also* add a qualifier such as "<joke>" :mrgreen:



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15 Nov 2021, 4:18 pm

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https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... attraction


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Pepe
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15 Nov 2021, 4:20 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
Skjald wrote:
This I personally find very unaesthetic and completely infantile.
I don't like bright colourful stuff to start with.
I stick with Goethe’s colour theory in this regards, who said:”Only children and simple people like bright colours.” :lol: :wink:

Stereotypical heavy metal look is just as unaesthetic and infantile for people who are not fans of the genre, I'm aware of that even though I personally like this look.

Goethe was an ultimate emo, though. "Simple people like bright colors" is an example of what you describe as "some even arrogant believing themselves superior because they were more in touch with their emotions or some s**t."


Unaesthetic and infantile? I love plushies, Hello Kitty, Moomin, Monchhichi (I’m getting my first one with my Christmas money. I named her Ribbon after the fairy from the N64 Kirby game), unicorns, baby animals, bunnies, Disney and get easily attached to my Pokémon and Neopets. I also love Pusheen.

I’m naturally that way and I don’t find any of that simple. Most of my female friends chose to do the ladylike, glow up crap. That’s their fault because they had kids.


BTW, have a read of my signature.
"Age-appropriate behaviour is an arbitrary NT social construct."
Skrew social convention. ;)



Pepe
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15 Nov 2021, 4:34 pm

smartHulk wrote:
xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
Unaesthetic and infantile? I love plushies, Hello Kitty, Moomin, Monchhichi (I’m getting my first one with my Christmas money. I named her Ribbon after the fairy from the N64 Kirby game), unicorns, baby animals, bunnies, Disney and get easily attached to my Pokémon and Neopets. I also love Pusheen.

I’m naturally that way and I don’t find any of that simple. Most of my female friends chose to do the ladylike, glow up crap. That’s their fault because they had kids.

My point was it is wrong and infantile in itself to judge any look you don't like as "Unaesthetic and infantile".

On your original question, I suggest something that would help you to make an informed decision: imagine you are at your goal weight already, really try to feel it. Then ask yourself a question: would you go out of your way to reach your current weight with some weight gaining diet? Would you sacrifice some of your health, because this is what you really believe is better reflection of your personality and your values or would help you to achieve something important for you? E.g. Christian Bale gained a ton of weight for Dick Cheney role because his method acting, recognition as actor, possible academy awards are more important for him than damage to his health. What your motivation would be?

Even if you really don't care about beauty standards, and this is not a factor at all, your health is. Unless there are reasons outweighing your health, this should be your goal. Weight loss is not that hard or stressful and doesn't take a toll on mental health when executed properly, "weight loss or mental health" is false dilemma.


Agreed.
From personal experience, shedding excess weight made me euphoric when approaching my goal.
Being able to walk upstairs without even being consciously aware of doing so, gives me a bit of a psychological lift every time I think about it. :mrgreen:
It pleases me that those days are behind me. 8)



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15 Nov 2021, 5:54 pm

theprisoner wrote:
Image
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... attraction


I read the article but I don't think the colour of the girl's dress is the primary reason a straight male would look at her



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15 Nov 2021, 6:43 pm

cyberdad wrote:
theprisoner wrote:
Image
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... attraction


I read the article but I don't think the colour of the girl's dress is the primary reason a straight male would look at her


I red read most of the article, but didn't see any indication that colour is the "primary" reason for sexual attraction.
It is simply a factor.

If the woman had a twin wearing a blue dress instead, the study would predict that the woman in the red dress would gain more attention.

The stimulative property of the colour red is old news to me.
It is connected to excitability. 8)



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15 Nov 2021, 6:45 pm

I think that's why red is used for warning signs, stop signs and my all time favourite "Red alert"



Pepe
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15 Nov 2021, 6:47 pm

cyberdad wrote:
I think that's why red is used for warning signs, stop signs and my all time favourite "Red alert"


Agreed.
One consideration about the colour red is that blood is red, also. 8)



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15 Nov 2021, 6:51 pm

The skimpiness of the dress is what stands out even more than the red.

And her hair is pretty nice, too.

But if she had nothing other than these "attributes," I certainly wouldn't dig her.

I tend to like "normal-average" looking women than model types. I like it when some facet of a woman is odd. I find different anatomies interesting.

There's a woman at work who has a really enchanting voice----and I would date her if I wasn't married. Her voice is really quite enchanting, actually! Very soothing.

She's at least 25 years younger than I am. She's rather overweight. She's at least a biracial person. She has no problem with the fact that she carries a few more pounds than many women.



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15 Nov 2021, 8:45 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
There's a woman at work who has a really enchanting voice----and I would date her if I wasn't married. Her voice is really quite enchanting, actually! Very soothing.

She's at least 25 years younger than I am. She's rather overweight. She's at least a biracial person. She has no problem with the fact that she carries a few more pounds than many women.


It's interesting what's "average" will vary between men. I would hazard a guess but the perception of the average female has changed over the years.



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16 Nov 2021, 6:36 am

smartHulk wrote:
My point was it is wrong and infantile in itself to judge any look you don't like as "Unaesthetic and infantile".

It didn’t come across at all.

Anyway, I disagree.
I didn’t even say it was in fact, objectively, measurably infantile and unaesthetic, I said “I find it to be” which means in my OPINION it was and there is nothing infantile about having an opinion about an outfit. If it was people would generally be infantile, all of them, because they have lots of opinions about everything.

In addition to that words have meaning and definitions and describe something. People associate certain things with words.
If you said to people imagine a person dressed like an infant/infantile, most people's mind would come up with something way closer to the colour vomit ones and probably no one with the "Stereotypical heavy metal outfits" no matter how ugly and unaesthetic they thought the style was.

But it doesn't matter, we won't find any common ground.


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16 Nov 2021, 7:12 am

The person I’m talking about would be considered slightly overweight even during the Zaftig Victorian Era. She is sort of short and stubby—but cute :heart:



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16 Nov 2021, 8:43 am

Skjald wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
My point was it is wrong and infantile in itself to judge any look you don't like as "Unaesthetic and infantile".

It didn’t come across at all.

Anyway, I disagree.
I didn’t even say it was in fact, objectively, measurably infantile and unaesthetic, I said “I find it to be” which means in my OPINION it was and there is nothing infantile about having an opinion about an outfit. If it was people would generally be infantile, all of them, because they have lots of opinions about everything.

In addition to that words have meaning and definitions and describe something. People associate certain things with words.
If you said to people imagine a person dressed like an infant/infantile, most people's mind would come up with something way closer to the colour vomit ones and probably no one with the "Stereotypical heavy metal outfits" no matter how ugly and unaesthetic they thought the style was.

But it doesn't matter, we won't find any common ground.


If you ask actual grown up mature women to describe what comes to mind as "infantile" style, like 1/4 of of them would describe a grown ass manchild with long hair wearing dark t-shirts with wolves, dragons, runes, band logos, ripped jeans, vests and s**t. In general majority would describe people wearing what was considered to be "cool" since they were in middle school, like Bill Hader in "Hot Rod" or Simon Pegg in "The World's End". I'm pretty sure no one would describe a person actually dressed anything like an infant, this is too specific and irrelevant.

Identifying with some subculture with distinct style, and judging style of other subcultures is what I consider objectively infantile. This is something we all do to some extent when we are kids, but supposed to grow out of this tribal BS as we mature.



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16 Nov 2021, 8:46 am

I'm demisexual, so I wouldn't date/be attracted to anyone without an emotional bond. Weight wouldn't be a factor.


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16 Nov 2021, 10:21 am

smartHulk wrote:
Skjald wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
My point was it is wrong and infantile in itself to judge any look you don't like as "Unaesthetic and infantile".

It didn’t come across at all.

Anyway, I disagree.
I didn’t even say it was in fact, objectively, measurably infantile and unaesthetic, I said “I find it to be” which means in my OPINION it was and there is nothing infantile about having an opinion about an outfit. If it was people would generally be infantile, all of them, because they have lots of opinions about everything.

In addition to that words have meaning and definitions and describe something. People associate certain things with words.
If you said to people imagine a person dressed like an infant/infantile, most people's mind would come up with something way closer to the colour vomit ones and probably no one with the "Stereotypical heavy metal outfits" no matter how ugly and unaesthetic they thought the style was.

But it doesn't matter, we won't find any common ground.


If you ask actual grown up mature women to describe what comes to mind as "infantile" style, like 1/4 of of them would describe a grown ass manchild with long hair wearing dark t-shirts with wolves, dragons, runes, band logos, ripped jeans, vests and s**t. In general majority would describe people wearing what was considered to be "cool" since they were in middle school, like Bill Hader in "Hot Rod" or Simon Pegg in "The World's End". I'm pretty sure no one would describe a person actually dressed anything like an infant, this is too specific and irrelevant.

Identifying with some subculture with distinct style, and judging style of other subcultures is what I consider objectively infantile. This is something we all do to some extent when we are kids, but supposed to grow out of this tribal BS as we mature.


Ummmm....hate to say this but I wanted to dress metal in hopes that I would attract those kinds of guys rather than boring guys.


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16 Nov 2021, 10:32 am

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
Skjald wrote:
smartHulk wrote:
My point was it is wrong and infantile in itself to judge any look you don't like as "Unaesthetic and infantile".

It didn’t come across at all.

Anyway, I disagree.
I didn’t even say it was in fact, objectively, measurably infantile and unaesthetic, I said “I find it to be” which means in my OPINION it was and there is nothing infantile about having an opinion about an outfit. If it was people would generally be infantile, all of them, because they have lots of opinions about everything.

In addition to that words have meaning and definitions and describe something. People associate certain things with words.
If you said to people imagine a person dressed like an infant/infantile, most people's mind would come up with something way closer to the colour vomit ones and probably no one with the "Stereotypical heavy metal outfits" no matter how ugly and unaesthetic they thought the style was.

But it doesn't matter, we won't find any common ground.


If you ask actual grown up mature women to describe what comes to mind as "infantile" style, like 1/4 of of them would describe a grown ass manchild with long hair wearing dark t-shirts with wolves, dragons, runes, band logos, ripped jeans, vests and s**t. In general majority would describe people wearing what was considered to be "cool" since they were in middle school, like Bill Hader in "Hot Rod" or Simon Pegg in "The World's End". I'm pretty sure no one would describe a person actually dressed anything like an infant, this is too specific and irrelevant.

Identifying with some subculture with distinct style, and judging style of other subcultures is what I consider objectively infantile. This is something we all do to some extent when we are kids, but supposed to grow out of this tribal BS as we mature.


Ummmm....hate to say this but I wanted to dress metal in hopes that I would attract those kinds of guys rather than boring guys.


But there's boring metal guys, and there's guys who are basically doing what you're saying you'd like to do because they hope to attract an edgy partner.


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