Of course.

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Haven't heard from him, don't expect to - quite sure he's in jail awaiting a trial. Something like that.

But of course there's more.. some things he told me about some crimes that I wasn't sure I believed or not, but the more I think about it and some other indications that the stories may be true, the more I think police need to be informed and the crimes investigated.. in some ways for justice for him. It seems to Me that he may have been telling the absolute truth about these crimes and that they were a part of the reason his drug use continued to spiral out of control due to the trauma/ptsd of them.

I didn't fully believe him at first. His mother didn't believe him at all. And I get why.. due to paranoid thoughts and delusions at times, he's not exactly credible. In part I think I'm growing to Want to believe him in order to have an explanation for his downward spiral.. I get that, but, there's also some things he said that have partially been corroborated, plus there are some things I can do to have a better idea for myself if the crimes are true and ongoing. Mostly, I can do a little stakeout to see if certain people are at a certain place at a certain time when they have no business being there. I've taken a short look last week, but I might take a long look some nights soon.

A high level police investigator gave me some surveillance tips as well as suggested placing some inexpensive battery operated surveillance cameras with large memory cards and then retrieving them a day or two later vs. having to do stakeouts in person. Who knows, might do both. But if I have visual confirmation that certain people are at a certain place when there's no reason for them to be besides for criminal activity, then I have a significantly more credible statement to make to police investigators and there's a way higher likelihood that the crimes get investigated vs. not.

What a clusterf**k of drama. Of course there are details I'm omitting, but that's about it in a nutshell on updates besides thinking about contacting his mother again to discuss the crimes and what was said to each of us - especially if I have proof myself that they're likely the real deal vs. paranoid delusions. Thinking back to the conversations we had about the crimes the 2nd last weekend he came and stayed I believe, I'm glad I confronted him with skepticism and asked a few pointed questions and got answers that lead me to believe these things actually happened vs. were imagined in a state of drug psychosis.

I'll figure some things out, gather some intel, make some reports etc and Hope that things get investigated. But due to the nature of police work it'll take literally a few years to investigate - which sucks, but I'm okay with it if that's the process and it has to take that long in order to be done properly. At least then there'll be some justice for harm caused/compounded that complicated his life further - to the nth degree - by triggering drug use to the extreme and then this act of drug induced psychosis violence to occur. And then it's all a bit easier for me to accept/process with confirmation of said explanation. He still did it and still needs to be in a hospital getting serious mental/addictions help, but it'd just be kinda nice to have an explanation vs. none. I mean, I do have one From Him but I'd believe evidence from my own eyes or a police investigation over his word alone.

Please be careful.

Spent most of the night there a block or so down. Was chatting with some people for too long - distraction from what I was meaning to do. When asked, I told them I was looking for someone who's known to come by.. just need a sighting to relay that they're ok that's it that's all. They didn't ask too many questions but it was a bit too distracting with them around earlier on so it's very possible I missed seeing people come and go. The alleys there are lit up super bright (to deter crime) so it's next to impossible to really hide or avoid people that happen to come by.. if you are tucked out of sight, then it's impossible to keep an eye on things down the alley. I might return again a bit earlier tonight and see if I see anything as I'm kinda thinking if no one came around super late, maybe they come around earlier.

It's a pretty safe block overall - not located in the heart of the DTES where it's constant crime/sketchy stuff.. just a little crime and sketchy stuff that's virtually harmless.

Another stakeout night. Been here since 11:35pm. But earlier than last night with a bit better view and no major distractions. Parker my car in an alley nearly a block away and have binoculars to keep an eye on the back door of the place as I very highly doubt people would be waltzing through the front door in the middle of the night. Possible, though. Might have to wo me a night or two with eyes on the front door as well. Might also buy a camera or two and stick them up and retrieve memory cards later.

Would be nice if I knew an approximate time of night vs just night. Kinda doubt it’d be much earlier but I guess also technically possible.

Would be nice to see even a few moments of certain people coming qnr going. Also possible for people to come or go in moments I’m not looking I suppose. Not sure how many nights I might give this a go - depends on if I see anything and can then be done with it I suppose. Just would be nice to have a corroborating sighting so I know for myself if really shady s**t is going down. Then it would make sense to po Tony it all the easier to have it investigated for real vs ignored.

5am now and getting quite light out; didn’t see ppl last night that would match the story - but that doesn’t mean I didn’t miss them.. or if they used a different entrance. Or arrived a bit earlier than I did.

Might check things out earlier/the other side of the building etc another night.

What I did see were mostly small drug deals and quite a few people pissing in the alley - Vancouver must hold a record for the least public toilets for a city I swear. So many alleys get used as urinals - almost all of them, actually.. but some WAY more than others lol there's one in the DTES called "piss alley," because that's what it's for, And, naturally, what it smells like. I saw a city truck go by spraying water, maybe with some sort of disinfectant I dunno - but they do that.. there are no toilets anywhere so the city just has trucks drive around and rinse away the piss every now and then.

Many of the businesses that Had public/customer washrooms have closed them. Can't take a piss at the only gas station downtown anymore. Starbucks doesn't even have washrooms.. can't take a piss before or after having a coffee ffs. Seriously. So many other restaurants etc have all nixed access to washrooms in the city, too. (because they get destroyed) Kinda f****d.

Couldn't have this hanging over my mind any longer. Filed a police report yesterday. Next, if I hear from him again, I'll encourage him to make a report on the same file so that a case builds. They need his first hand account of things I was told. etc etc. Then at least there's something on record about these crimes and if they're ongoing and others report them, there will be more of a case to investigate and potentially solve/prosecute. Things like this have to start with a single report.. and then others.

Hopefully having gotten this off my mind and into a police report lets me think a whole lot less about it and move on.

Probably a good decision to make a police report.

I’m amazed at the lack of public bathroom problem. In the US any establishment selling food to eat on site must have washroom facilities. That includes Starbucks.

Usually Canada is way ahead of the US in these kinds of things.

Most of these places used to have public washrooms. But they get DESTROYED by crackheads & junkies. So Covid was a good excuse to close them and tell people they weren’t allowing public use due to Covid protocols. Then they never reopened them so they don’t have to clean, repair, or maintain them.

People from out of town notice big time.

While I was on my stakeouts people would pull over in expensive cars & SUV’s to park a minute and piss in an alley.

I saw a water/maybe cleaning solution truck drive down the alleys one night. This is how Vancouver deals with it.. just rinse the piss every once in a while.

In the DTES there’s such a lack of washrooms and hundreds/thousands of homeless or nearly homeless people so there’s an alley known as “piss alley.” Most of the alleys will have more than piss in them.. piles of human crap. Then when the trucks come by to rinse or it’s rained for the first time in a while, the gutters run brown. Pretty 3rd world for one of the top money laundering cities on the planet with Billions in cash washing through its real estate market. You’d think for all the public amenities property developers are made to fund they’d include public washrooms.

And yeah, police report was the right move. Not just for my own conscience but because if this criming is ongoing it needs to be on record so it matches with any future reports and whoever is behind it is caught and faces consequences for it.

I do believe this bunch of crimes contributed to my friends downward spiral and excessive drug use. The perpetrators have likely ruined other lives, too.

So, reported. I’ll do my small part and hope that others come forward.

Been a while. No idea IF or when I might hear from him. Most people would probably say good riddance and excommunicate him. I feel like it's been long enough that I'm not super pissed about the petty theft stuff, and as much as he committed a serious violent act and I'm not excusing it, he's Also a victim and I understand why trauma led to increased drug use led to declining mental health led to drug induced psychosis & violence etc.

I have no way to contact him, but it's been long enough that I'm ready to take his phone call and speak to him in person IF he calls. I have no idea if he's put two and two together and realizes I'm the one that turned him in or not. Probably. And then, would he be raging mad about that forever and never want to speak to me again ? I dunno. If so, that's what's mean to be and will be. Or does he wonder and doesn't know.. like he could assume it was the place he was staying that was put on alert to turn him in if he showed up. Or maybe he's sobered up and realized that no matter who turned him in he both deserved it and needed it.

I do hope he's sobered up finally. And that he's doing some major healing. Might be medicated - I would assume so. Vancouver Police followed up with me and told me that they were able to locate him but were unable to get a statement.. and I said that means if you can't talk to him I can't either. "Yeeeah," she said. I figure that means he's been court ordered to a psych ward somewhere for long term evaluation/medication etc I'm not quite sure how these things go.

I chatted with one of his friends in person yesterday to update him on the details of things he told me that led to this downward spiral so that his old friend would also have an understanding of how this happened. I told him I'll talk to him if he reaches out and calls me again when he can. I guess time will tell if he does. No idea how long he might be unable to make phone calls if he wanted to. The cops did say if he gets in touch try to encourage him to contact them about the police file and make a statement. Of course I'd do that.

So weird caring about someone who's got so much self inflicted damage And has done wrong to me and his family, but it's just not in me to just excommunicate him. I really do hope he's doing some major healing and comes out of this for the better instead of in a tail spin straight down until the lifestyle kills him. If he does reach out and we talk, I'm going to be very clear that he needs to be sober and improving, not using and self destructing, if we're going to be in touch. I won't subject myself to watching him self destruct; if he's going to kill himself with that life then he can do it w/o my knowledge or involvement whatsoever. I need to learn from my own mistakes and be very black and white about those things vs. accept them going on.

edit: I'm not gonna lie. I do miss the sex. It was Next Level hot nearly every single time. As f****d up as it all may seem, there is a chance I'd still have a sexual relationship with him. BUT, not at the expense of my life, time, goals etc wasting time & energy dealing with drug BS. IF he's sober (possibly medicated) & stays that way with a full commitment to living a clean and sober ever improving life, Then I could see the potential for us to be close. But any more of this same past BS? Nah, not interested. Can't spend my life doing that. I have work to do, goals to reach etc. I don't see myself throwing away my time/money/goals etc to babysit an addict even on a part time basis. Had enough of a taste of that to know I'm not going to spend my life doing it and the expense of sports/education/career/financial goals etc.

Heard from him today.. said he tried calling me a couple times but I didn't answer - possible - I don't always answer unknown calls. Anyways, he just got out of jail after 6 months. I Think he's still using drugs. Not entirely sure. Told him I have a bit of a trek of a drive to make this afternoon to run an errand so will meet up with him and take him with me to talk on the drive. He asked for a couple things - I said I can't guarantee them - lots to discuss and I do wanna see ya and discuss, but one thing at a time for the moment. I thought he might bail if I said I couldn't do abc or xyz 100% for sure, but he agreed to meet up so we'll meet and discuss a few pertinent things.. at least get to the bottom of a few things, try to offer help/advice on others and then see if he's on a better path or if he's gonna self destruct and not have anything to do with me.. in which case at least this conversation will result in closure for me. Will find out in an hour or two when we meet up and talk. Truly, I hope he's healing and on a better path towards sobriety, sanity, productivity etc but I kind of got the impression on the phone that he's still using but couldn't discuss it where he was so didn't flat out admit it.

Good luck with your meet up, goldfish.

Thx.

He’s healthier in some ways, making terribly unhealthy decisions in others. Going back to drugs instead of aiming for sobriety and productivity. Such a wasted opportunity to stay off the drugs and I
told him so.

We talked about a lot of things. He knows the drugs and his mental health have made him do uncaring things he’s not proud of.

He knows with his lifestyle that we’re not compatible to date, and that deep down he wants to be with a girl, and that he’s in no condition to date one either.

He was beyond grateful that I filed a police report about some thing he said were going in and said he will be talking to the police to further their investigation.

We did hookup, and it wasn’t awful or anything but it’s kind of lost its magic a bit. We’ll be friends of sorts and I wish him well but he knows I can’t spend my time around his drug addiction as then I’m not living my life or working towards my goals.

Sad to see him self harm with drugs, but he says the addiction is just far too strong and he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get away from it. Ok, then you won’t work towards a stable healthy balanced life and will live this crazy crap until it eventually kills you I guess.

I’m sure I’ll hear from him sporadically, and here and there I’ll give him some time and energy, encourage him to make healthier choices etc but I can’t really see myself dropping what I’m doing to go bail him out of whatever BS he’s gotten himself into. He also knows that since he f****d up certain things I can’t really have him over to my house. I feel we’ll be friends/acquaintances but time and lifestyles will see us drift further and further apart - and it’ll be good for me. No sense in pouring energy into someone that doesn’t want to get better and has already cost me time & money I’ll never get back.

But strangely, I feel for him and won’t just tell him to f**k off. As much as he’s been an as*hole to me in ways that most people would just tell him off and never talk to him again, I’m aware that he’s Also a victim of some pretty undesirable things and it results in increased drug use and mental health problems, so, I can’t help but feel for him tbh. I’ll be a phone call away to talk or whatever, but I certainly can’t imagine spending my life with him - it’s not what he wants and we’re worlds apart in lifestyle, priorities, goals etc and I know we’re simply incompatible for it.

He texted & called me a couple days ago or so from a borrowed phone. Bit of a sob story about a cheque not coming through, being cold, unable to get a spot in a shelter at the moment and bottom line wanting $25 for drugs. I said noooo, I'm not dropping the work I'm doing and driving to you to fund your drug habit that I don't have and can't afford/justify. Makes no sense. And I can't exactly take you to my house to get warm/shower/do laundry etc seeing as the last time you were there you broke my trust when you stole from me and my parents. An apology doesn't replace the hundreds of dollars worth of stolen items - especially the sentimental item that cannot be replaced - nor rebuild any trust. Bottom line I told him I feel for him but solving the problems he keeps making worse with his decision to go back to drugs vs. do whatever it takes to live a more normal life is not my job, and funding his drug habit doesn't help anything - just makes things worse, costs me money etc.

I do hope he follows through and contacts police re: the police report I filed and told him about. He did seem keen on that. And it's important that those involved in those crimes be investigated and caught.

I won't mind if he calls me up and wants to have some normal conversation, maybe a hot meal, listen to some words of encouragement or whatever.. but if he thinks he's going to continue with more of the same taking advantage of my kindness and expects me to bail him out of his BS then f**k that, no more. It's not helping anything at all. Face your problems and deal with them. Do what you need to do to function well enough to do some paid work vs. petty crime that risks arrest to feed your habit.

I Get that addiction is a terrible disease, that his brain is Wired for it over the last 7/11 years of doing drugs, that he's not proud of the things he's done to feed his addiction.. I get that, I do, but to give in to that and decide that you "can't," get better is a choice vs. doing whatever it takes to not let drugs rule your existence. Fighting temptation, keeping your hands busy working etc.. says stable housing and work will mean doing fewer drugs - ummm, okay, but you can't obtain those things while staying high as a f*****g kite soooo.. ???

Very sad/tragic, all of it. If he never contacts me again I guess that's what's meant to be. If he calls and asks if I'd get him a hot meal, okay maybe if I have time. If he asks for a ride to a detox/treatment centre, okay that I can make time for.. but to ask me to fund your self destruction ? Nah, not into it. Entirely unattractive. Idfc if he doesn't ever want to hookup again over it. I'm simply not doing it. 6 months of no contact was a good length of time for feelings to dissipate and run their course kind of thing. Very difficult to maintain attraction to someone who's choosing to self destruct vs. better themselves. I'm sure he's feeling a brand new low over our conversation.. really truly I feel for him and the traumas he's lived through, but if he's deciding mind/body/soul destroying hard drugs are the way he's going to deal with these traumas instead of by any healthy means then I can't spend my time around him. If we never see each other again it might be for the best For Me. I don't need the heartache of seeing someone I cared about get worse and worse, looking downtrodden and dishevelled as a shell of their former self. It's all beyond sad, but not my problem nor what I intend to do with my life/time/energy/money etc. If I spend any time or a single dime with him again it'll be for some benefit Only, like a hot meal and a load of laundry or whatever - that's it.