Should I look for someone I'm more sexually compatible with?
I have often had trouble getting sexually aroused by women because I am normally only sexually aroused by women who are I guess you could say, dominatrix like in bed.
But over the years, it's been really hard to find a woman who wants to be like this and the only two I found throughout the years that were like that, were also toxic and abusive, and not relationship material at all.
So I have come to the term that the problem is me and I need to be more accepting and flexible, rather than be so picky for such a shallow niche.
I'm in a relationship and my gf is not so into either as much. But earlier on she suggested to me that I take cannibis in order to get aroused easier, because she felt like it would help me relax and get aroused without thinking too much. And it has helped, as I can get aroused no problem with her, if I use it.
But I am wondering, is do I have a problem and it's perfectly okay to take a medicinal remedy for it, so to speak, and that's fine... Or am I ignoring the problem by doing this and looking for just a temporary solution? What do you think?
Thank you for any opinions on this! I really appreciate it!
But over the years, it's been really hard to find a woman who wants to be like this and the only two I found throughout the years that were like that, were also toxic and abusive, and not relationship material at all.
So I have come to the term that the problem is me and I need to be more accepting and flexible, rather than be so picky for such a shallow niche.
I'm in a relationship and my gf is not so into either as much. But earlier on she suggested to me that I take cannibis in order to get aroused easier, because she felt like it would help me relax and get aroused without thinking too much. And it has helped, as I can get aroused no problem with her, if I use it.
But I am wondering, is do I have a problem and it's perfectly okay to take a medicinal remedy for it, so to speak, and that's fine... Or am I ignoring the problem by doing this and looking for just a temporary solution? What do you think?
Thank you for any opinions on this! I really appreciate it!
I was under the impression weed *reduces* arousal.
I have no experience here, since I have never taken it.
I have heard people say that weed just mellows them out and they simply want to "chill".
But over the years, it's been really hard to find a woman who wants to be like this and the only two I found throughout the years that were like that, were also toxic and abusive, and not relationship material at all.
So I have come to the term that the problem is me and I need to be more accepting and flexible, rather than be so picky for such a shallow niche.
I'm in a relationship and my gf is not so into either as much. But earlier on she suggested to me that I take cannibis in order to get aroused easier, because she felt like it would help me relax and get aroused without thinking too much. And it has helped, as I can get aroused no problem with her, if I use it.
But I am wondering, is do I have a problem and it's perfectly okay to take a medicinal remedy for it, so to speak, and that's fine... Or am I ignoring the problem by doing this and looking for just a temporary solution? What do you think?
Thank you for any opinions on this! I really appreciate it!
I was under the impression weed *reduces* arousal.
I have no experience here, since I have never taken it.
I have heard people say that weed just mellows them out and they simply want to "chill".
I see what you mean but perhaps my gf was onto something as her idea was that weed would make me want to have 'chill sex', or 'mellow sex', and she was right it seems. So I guess weed increased libido, as long as it's chill libido?
But over the years, it's been really hard to find a woman who wants to be like this and the only two I found throughout the years that were like that, were also toxic and abusive, and not relationship material at all.
So I have come to the term that the problem is me and I need to be more accepting and flexible, rather than be so picky for such a shallow niche.
I'm in a relationship and my gf is not so into either as much. But earlier on she suggested to me that I take cannibis in order to get aroused easier, because she felt like it would help me relax and get aroused without thinking too much. And it has helped, as I can get aroused no problem with her, if I use it.
But I am wondering, is do I have a problem and it's perfectly okay to take a medicinal remedy for it, so to speak, and that's fine... Or am I ignoring the problem by doing this and looking for just a temporary solution? What do you think?
Thank you for any opinions on this! I really appreciate it!
I was under the impression weed *reduces* arousal.
I have no experience here, since I have never taken it.
I have heard people say that weed just mellows them out and they simply want to "chill".
I see what you mean but perhaps my gf was onto something as her idea was that weed would make me want to have 'chill sex', or 'mellow sex', and she was right it seems. So I guess weed increased libido, as long as it's chill libido?
It seems to be a "mixed bag".
You are one of the lucky ones, you lucky dawg.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31447385/
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,470
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
Nothing wrong with using cannanbis to enhance sex if it helps you.
That said is she like totally turned off by taking a more dominant role in the bedroom, or is it something she could indulge with you sometimes? Even if the weed helps more mellow sex work better for you, it probably won't prevent you having the desires you do entirely.
_________________
We won't go back.
Have you looked via the organized kink subculture, or mostly via more mainstream means?
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I kind of have in the past, but again, it was women who were not relationship material, as they seemed kind of misandristic or if they weren't they were only interested in either casual or polyamorous relationships. I couldn't find one who wanted a relationship that was monogamous.
Sweetleaf
Veteran
Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,470
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
I mean that sounds reasonable to me.
_________________
We won't go back.
I mean that sounds reasonable to me.
I'll take first "dibs" if he decides to break off the relationship.
But over the years, it's been really hard to find a woman who wants to be like this and the only two I found throughout the years that were like that, were also toxic and abusive, and not relationship material at all.
So I have come to the term that the problem is me and I need to be more accepting and flexible, rather than be so picky for such a shallow niche.
I'm in a relationship and my gf is not so into either as much. But earlier on she suggested to me that I take cannibis in order to get aroused easier, because she felt like it would help me relax and get aroused without thinking too much. And it has helped, as I can get aroused no problem with her, if I use it.
But I am wondering, is do I have a problem and it's perfectly okay to take a medicinal remedy for it, so to speak, and that's fine... Or am I ignoring the problem by doing this and looking for just a temporary solution? What do you think?
Thank you for any opinions on this! I really appreciate it!
How happy are you, and how realistic are your standards for happiness? Answering that will tell you what to do.
Actually, people in the kink world, whether dominant or submissive, tend to be less hung up on age than people in the vanilla world.
When I was in my mid-twenties and very active in the kink world, as a dominant, most of my partners were older, simply because the vast majority of people in the scene happened to be older.
_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter / "X" (new as of 2021)