Comparing myself to other men with bad temper

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So I read the article about the men with bad tempers https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog ... d-tantrums While the author of the article "thought" they were criticizing men and holding them responsible, what struck me is something quite opposite to that. In particular:

1) They mentioned how a lot of women put up with men with bed tempers. This led to obvious question: how come women don't put up with me when I have bad temper?

2) They advised women to give men time, such as a month or two, to fix it. In my case, I am begging women for ONE SINGLE DAY and they won't give me even that. Not even five minutes.

3) And I am not even saying "I will learn to control the temper in a day". No. I am saying "I will stop the temper this very second, just stick around for a day to see how I will 'not' be having a temper". But in that article they actually advise women to put up with mens temper for a month, since its not realistic to stop it right away. So I promise to never do it again and can't even get THAT kind of chance, while the women in the article are actually being told to allow for some future incidents without leaving.

So what do you think? Is it because my temper tantrums are worse than the ones of other men? Or is it because, due to my bad social skills, women don't like me for other reasons -- and thats why they don't have that much of a motivation to overlook the temper things? Or is it, instead, because that article was focused on later stages in a relationship (or even married couples) while in my case I throw temper tantrums at the earlier stages?

Probably because a lot of NT men with bad tempers (and no mental health problems) can be nasty people as well and know how to have power over the woman so they stick with them because they are scared.

However, an autistic person like yourself is probably more nicer as a person and less controlling or have less power over the woman, so she isn't scared of you enough to stay with you. Angry NT men know how to have a hold on their wives/girlfriends and are able to use that charm to convince them to stay. A lot of autistic men lack this, women usually see their tempers as a weakness and just leave.

Just my opinion.

I am not sure what you mean by NT men scaring the women into staying. Are you saying they are afraid that if they leave they would be subjected to physical violence? If so, thats what police is for. Or are you saying they are afraid that men would turn their friends against them (which is what I, admittedly, can't do)?

That’s idealized.

The police can only do so much.

In NY State, assault can only be proven when there’s an evident physical injury.

There are women who are economically dependent upon abusive men.

And many instances when women are afraid to “move on” from abusive men.

I used to have a bad temper.

The only solution is to seek to restrain it, not lament that people with bad tempers “get away with it”—while you don’t “get away with it.”

Rise above your human flaws.

I wouldn’t give a woman with a bad temper a chance. Tantrums are baby stuff.

My belief, truly, is that you have to rise above the people who get away with having a bad temper.

You have to be a better person than they are.

That would be my attitude.

Personally, I don't like people who lose their temper. It's not pleasant for me.

Back to the earlier comment, I think one of the people who responded to this thread included some links that talked about the way men force women to stay. I was busy with school work so I postponed reading them, but I was about to go read them now yet they aren't there any more. Were they editted out? If so, I wish you could re-post them, as I would like to read them.

But in any case, if its true that those men keep the women by sheer threat, then no I don't envy them. Because what I am after is emotional connection. And if a woman only stays because she is afraid to leave, there won't be any of such connection.

I guess I just have hard time believing that truly is the case. I mean in Islamic countries, yes, it happens all the time. But as far as the US, its just hard to believe.

Well, if I do "suspend my disbelief" for a second, then I can take it one step further, and replace anger with any other social flaw, such as not saying please or thank you, or not smiling, or not holding doors open, etc. Do you think other men who don't do those things can have girlfriends and I can't, also because they somehow threaten and/or manipulate them?

If so its just really hard to believe. If I look at happy men and women around the campus who laugh together and have a good time together, are those women just pretending because they are threatened?!

And the other ironic thing about it is that I have a sense that it is me who the women are scared of, and they wouldn't talk to me because of this. So are you saying that they are scared of other men even more, its just that other men can "scare them into pretending they aren't scared" and thats why it "seems as if" its only me they are afraid of?!

Like I said its just really hard to believe.

im a woman with a vicious temper

Thinking "I have a bad temper, and women just have to accept that is the way I am" will not solve your problem, I guarantee that.

Thinking "I am going to handle my temper and not impose it on anyone, woman or man" will go a long way toward solving your problem, if you act accordingly.