A more polite way of saying she’s not interested!

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Jamesy
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29 Apr 2022, 3:47 pm

This guy I know who is in his 60s was telling me how once he was trying to chat up a lady. His friend then whispered into his ear “your wasting your time she’s a lesbian”.


In those kind of situations do you think that’s a more polite way of saying that she was not at all interested in him perhaps? The guy I know is also 5ft6/5ft7 inches tall and is fairly overweight think ‘father christmas’



Ettina
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30 Apr 2022, 9:01 am

I mean, she could actually be a lesbian. Lesbians are just as uninterested in unattractive men as they are in attractive men.

Why does it matter?



Fnord
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30 Apr 2022, 10:46 am

It does not matter.



Muse933277
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01 May 2022, 8:46 am

Women are pretty well known for letting down a guy easy and giving subtle hints that they're not interested. So yeah, I think there's a realistic possibility that she indeed wasn't a lesbian and was trying to reject you. The better you are at reading hints (and women do give off many hints) the better you are at not wasting your time.

Being too busy to meet up, taking 24+ hours to respond back, never wanting to be alone with you, walking away from you mid conversation, talking about other guys she's interested in, constant flaking, etc...

I wouldn't worry about why you're rejected because you may not want to know the answer to that question. Women, like men, can oftentimes be picky about looks or have a specific physical type they want. If the girl you're talking to is into 6 ft broad shouldered white guys, and you're 5 ft 6, scrawny, and black, she would probably reject you.



Jamesy
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01 May 2022, 10:26 am

Muse933277 wrote:
Women are pretty well known for letting down a guy easy and giving subtle hints that they're not interested. So yeah, I think there's a realistic possibility that she indeed wasn't a lesbian and was trying to reject you. The better you are at reading hints (and women do give off many hints) the better you are at not wasting your time.

Being too busy to meet up, taking 24+ hours to respond back, never wanting to be alone with you, walking away from you mid conversation, talking about other guys she's interested in, constant flaking, etc...

I wouldn't worry about why you're rejected because you may not want to know the answer to that question. Women, like men, can oftentimes be picky about looks or have a specific physical type they want. If the girl you're talking to is into 6 ft broad shouldered white guys, and you're 5 ft 6, scrawny, and black, she would probably reject you.



I read up on the internet once this one guy said "I am 5ft9 and when I try and chat up the type of blonde women who are into 6ft3 black guys they are downright hostile towards me"



Sweetleaf
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01 May 2022, 5:25 pm

Sounds more like a way of saying said woman isn't into men, so if you're a man talking to said women in the hopes of getting sex you're wasting your time.


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02 May 2022, 1:28 pm

Jamesy wrote:
This guy I know who is in his 60s was telling me how once he was trying to chat up a lady. His friend then whispered into his ear “your wasting your time she’s a lesbian”.


In those kind of situations do you think that’s a more polite way of saying that she was not at all interested in him perhaps? The guy I know is also 5ft6/5ft7 inches tall and is fairly overweight think ‘father christmas’


Are you saying his buddy told him he is wasting his time, and not the woman he was trying to "chat up"? That doesn't sound like rejection by her.

Question to you: would it have been polite for her (not his buddy) to say, I'm sorry, I'm not into you?



Muse933277
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03 May 2022, 1:09 pm

Jamesy wrote:


I read up on the internet once this one guy said "I am 5ft9 and when I try and chat up the type of blonde women who are into 6ft3 black guys they are downright hostile towards me"



Some women (like some men too) are only nice to members of the opposite gender that they’re attracted to. Well on the bright side, at least you know right away they don’t like you, so you can move on quickly.


On the height thing, 5 ft 9 isn’t exactly short so there are plenty of women that would date a 5 ft 9 guy which is literally the average male height. Only the shallow height queens would think that height is too short.



kraftiekortie
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03 May 2022, 2:57 pm

I don't believe everything I read on the Internet.

Of course, there are white women who are into tall black guys-----but this is far, far from universal.



Fnord
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03 May 2022, 3:05 pm

 

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Muse933277
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03 May 2022, 3:57 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:

Of course, there are white women who are into tall black guys-----but this is far, far from universal.



Of course it's far from universal.

If anything, white American women are much more likely to exclusively date white men, especially if they grew up in a more conservative dominated culture. My relatives who grew up in the country, while they're nice people, are probably not the type of people to date interracially. And that's okay because everyone is entitled to their preferences. Of course, most people aren't going to admit their racial preferences in a romantic partner (for obvious reasons) but that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.


I've always said this and I will say it again. If you're a white man, that's at least 5 ft 10, isn't overweight, and doesn't have a significant disability, you are statistically speaking, the least likely to experience discrimination in dating.



kraftiekortie
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03 May 2022, 4:09 pm

Well....I'm 5 foot 5, and slightly overweight.....and I've done okay.



Jamesy
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03 May 2022, 4:34 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:

Of course, there are white women who are into tall black guys-----but this is far, far from universal.



Of course it's far from universal.

If anything, white American women are much more likely to exclusively date white men, especially if they grew up in a more conservative dominated culture. My relatives who grew up in the country, while they're nice people, are probably not the type of people to date interracially. And that's okay because everyone is entitled to their preferences. Of course, most people aren't going to admit their racial preferences in a romantic partner (for obvious reasons) but that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.


I've always said this and I will say it again. If you're a white man, that's at least 5 ft 10, isn't overweight, and doesn't have a significant disability, you are statistically speaking, the least likely to experience discrimination in dating.




Guess I will face discrimination then because I am 5ft8 and have autism which is considered a disability. On the plus side I am not overweight at 160 lbs. 8)



Muse933277
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03 May 2022, 5:26 pm

Jamesy wrote:


Guess I will face discrimination then because I am 5ft8 and have autism which is considered a disability. On the plus side I am not overweight at 160 lbs. 8)




At 5 ft 8, the discrimination you'd face for your height in the dating market will be fairly minimal, considering that you're still taller the majority of women you meet.

Autism on the other hand is definitely a disadvantage in the dating market, but it really depends on how your autism affects you since it affects people in different ways. Autism is definitely not a death sentence when it comes to dating, but it does make dating harder for a lot of people.



Jamesy
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03 May 2022, 5:28 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
Jamesy wrote:


Guess I will face discrimination then because I am 5ft8 and have autism which is considered a disability. On the plus side I am not overweight at 160 lbs. 8)




At 5 ft 8, the discrimination you'd face for your height in the dating market will be fairly minimal, considering that you're still taller the majority of women you meet.

Autism on the other hand is definitely a disadvantage in the dating market, but it really depends on how your autism affects you since it affects people in different ways. Autism is definitely not a death sentence when it comes to dating, but it does make dating harder for a lot of people.



I would probably find it a million times easier to date a woman on the spectrum.



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03 May 2022, 7:40 pm

Jamesy wrote:
I would probably find it a million times easier to date a woman on the spectrum.
You will never know unless you try.