Should my gf judge me based on these books I own?
Well she gets really political about it. it's just that she is really politically sensitive and if someone dies not agree with her on everything it's a living hell to her for some reason.
I feel like telling her that not everyone is going to agree with her in every little thing, and I'm going to read and digest the media I want to, and too bad if you don't like it. Would that be out of line though?
...I have to ask if *she* reads dating books.
Ages ago, I used to hang out in the female equivalent of some of these dating advice communities (The Rules for example) and one thing they advised was to not keep your dating books out in plain view because most men would run screaming if they saw The Rules out on a coffee table.
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"A book must be the axe for the frozen sea inside us." - Franz Kafka
ASD (dx. 2004, Asperger's Syndrome) + ADHD
I an with those who suggest not to back down. You already explained why you read them books when you were younger and it wasn't good enough for her. Let her sulk on her own if she thinks everyone has to agree with her way of thinking. Chances are if you have been this far in a relationship with her, she will come back and act like a mature responsible adult before too long and have a conversation.
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nick007
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I feel like telling her that not everyone is going to agree with her in every little thing, and I'm going to read and digest the media I want to, and too bad if you don't like it. Would that be out of line though?
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All autisitcs need a little help in the dating game, autism is social skill difficulties anyway. I would have hoped she would understand that if she was worth her salt and given you a break for it rather than chew you out.
I would be firm with her. She can judge all she likes but she's judging an autistic man for having books on how to date.....says more about her than it ever will about you if she refuses to move on from it.
I feel like telling her that not everyone is going to agree with her in every little thing, and I'm going to read and digest the media I want to, and too bad if you don't like it. Would that be out of line though?
I would be firm with her. She can judge all she likes but she's judging an autistic man for having books on how to date.....says more about her than it ever will about you if she refuses to move on from it.
Ok thanks. She is autistic as well though but should that be taken into account or does that change anything?
She can have whatever feelings and principal she wants, but like Ironpony, she can be judged for them too.
An autisitc guy with social skill difficulties once owned and read books on how to date.....not exactly worth the scorn he's been given isn't it?
I would be firm with her. She can judge all she likes but she's judging an autistic man for having books on how to date.....says more about her than it ever will about you if she refuses to move on from it.
Ok thanks. She is autistic as well though but should that be taken into account or does that change anything?
Take it into account yes, but still this is black and white to me. You have autism, autism makes dating difficult so you bought some books on how to date that might have offensive titles.
She's a dick if she judges you for that in my honest opinion. She's free to judge but so are you to return the favour.
Last edited by Nades on 24 Jun 2022, 4:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I would be firm with her. She can judge all she likes but she's judging an autistic man for having books on how to date.....says more about her than it ever will about you if she refuses to move on from it.
Ok thanks. She is autistic as well though but should that be taken into account or does that change anything?
Nope. The best I've ever been treated has been by other NDs, but the worst I've ever been treated has also been by other NDs. I've also been a good partner - now - and a s**t partner - in the past. Don't put up with being treated poorly. Make sure that you have firm boundaries and communicate them bluntly. Sometimes we (autistics) only learn stuff the hard way.
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"A book must be the axe for the frozen sea inside us." - Franz Kafka
ASD (dx. 2004, Asperger's Syndrome) + ADHD
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
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Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
Ages ago, I used to hang out in the female equivalent of some of these dating advice communities (The Rules for example) and one thing they advised was to not keep your dating books out in plain view because most men would run screaming if they saw The Rules out on a coffee table.
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
Hand wringing sooks like this are a liability.
"politically sensitive" and makes everything a living hell if she doesn't agree with what you think.
Cripes mate time to cut her loose.
My partner and I disagree (quite strongly) on a number of world matters, but we also accept that and can agree to disagree.
"Politically sensitive" sounds like someone who is an absolute drain to be around.
Sweetleaf
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It's good to have principlesbut a person cannot expect everyone else to have the same principles as them and not be okay with it if they don't, because isn't that unrealistic?
I think she is more concerned with the idea you might not genuinely like her, if you were reading that kind of stuff. Maybe it's made her self conscious that maybe you just see her as a 'pretty woman that you got into bed' than an individual person and partner you really care about, since some books like that sort of seem to forget women are people and may want a genuine connection not just a script to get them in bed.
Are those books even really the hill you want to die on? for certain I don't think being stubborn on this issue will impress her. Maybe talk to her about why it offends her and be open a bit to her perspective, and try to find middle ground.
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