How Would You Rate Yourself In The Following Categories?

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On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate yourself in the following categories? How have these ratings affected your dating experience?

Face:
Body:
Hairstyle:
Fashion Style:
Athleticism:

Personality:
Intelligence:
Sense of Humor:
Social Intelligence:
Emotional Intelligence:
Empathy:
Ambition:
Hard Working:
Easy Going:
Creativity:
Self-Confidence:

Narcissism:
Depression:

I'll go first.


Face: 4.5 out of 10. My face isn't super ugly, but it's not good looking either.

Body: 6 out of 10. I'm not fat and I am fairly fit so normally my rating would be higher. Unfortunately, my very short stature knocks me down a few points.

Hairstyle: 5 out of 10, when cut fairly short.

Fashion Style: When I was younger, a 7 out of 10. Now it's probably a 4.

Athleticism: 5 out of 10. I'm an average level athlete at best.


Personality: Highly subjective but i'd give myself a 5.
Intelligence: 5 out of 10. I'm not the smartest guy but not an idiot either.
Sense of Humor: 3 out of 10, although I used to be funnier when I was younger.
Social Intelligence: 3 out of 10.
Emotional Intelligence: 4 out of 10
Empathy: 3 out of 10
Ambition: 6 out of 10
Hard Working: 3 out of 10
Easy Going: 7 out of 10
Creativity: 7 out of 10
Self-Confidence: 3 out of 10

Narcissism: 4 out of 10
Depression: It varies in my life.

I feel like you almost need to expound on these..... how do you express your creativity? What kind of personality do you have?

I am surprised you rate yourself so low in intelligence; you seem very intelligent from your posts, but you seem to be very hard on everyone (men, women, and apparently yourself as well).

I've changed a bit over the 10 years I've been in my current relationship so I'll try to describe how I was when I was single in my 20s & how I am now but I'm not gonna use a number scale.


Face I had bad acne as a teen & have some acne scars on my face. I've gained a lot of weight over the last 10 years so my face is fat thou it was not fat till my 30s.


Body I was very skinny till I moved out of my parents 10 years ago due to being a very picky eater who couldn't cook & mom hated cooking special meals for me so I usually just ate one big meal a day. I started eating 3 meals a day when I moved out due to meds & supplements I'm on & being able to have more food readily available I want to eat. I'm still used to eating big when I do eat & there's a bit(or a lot) of emotional eating as well. Most all my weight is stored in my upper body like my stomach, chest, & face probably partly due to med side-effects. I started buying less snacks this year due to health concerns & cost. I'm also trying to be a more active & my doc put me on a med for pre-diabetes that's helping me lose weight.


Hairstyle I never had a trendy hairstyle but my hairstyle was not unusual or anything for a guy. I started losing my hair in my mid 20s due to male-pattern baldness. I am doing some things to try & save it but I still lost a bit in the last 15 years. If I had the money(like if I was working & wanted to save up for a big personal treat) I would see about getting a hair transplant. I have to wear a hat when going outside to avoid getting sunburned during the summer & to keep my head warmer in the winter. My head itches a lot where I've lost hair even when I spend a lot of time inside & barely wear a hat. The more hair I lose, the more my head itches.


Fashion Style I had BAD skin eczema as a kid & lived in an area that tended to be very hot & humid & I have a low tolerance for heat & humidity. Clothing can make a huge difference for my comfort & I always wear shorts when staying inside. If the temp is below freezing outside, I'll turn the heater up instead of wearing long sleeves. I'll wear long pants & a jacket for going out when the temp is cold but I focus on comfort & not looks. Plus I don't have a lot of money to spend on clothing so I'll wear cloths that are a lot more worn than most others would wear. The schools I went to & the jobs I've done had uniform policies so I can dress nice when required but that's the only time I ever do.


Athleticism My various disabilities majorly limit me with that. I was born with a rare low vision disorder that causes me to be majorly nearsighted even with glasses. It also causes some colorblindness & lighting conditions can sometimes majorly affect my vision. I probably have that face blindness disorder as well & slow visual processing ability. My skin eczema & chronic allergies prevent me from wanting to be active outside. I've been constantly daydreaming my whole life due to ADD. I have slow reflexes. I also have a tremor disorder that acts up when doing things with fine motor-skills or if I'm anxious, tired, or stressed. Since I have Aspergers, team sports are NOT my thing. My main interests have always been things I did by myself at home like watching TV, spending time on computer listening to music, or playing video-games. I have always been majorly physically weak compared to my peers. The 3 jobs I had were unskilled manual labor things like dish-washer & janitorial type things & I was still very physically weak despite standing & walking & doing various tasks for 8+ hours a day 5 days a week for about 3 years.


Personality I'm a wet napkin. I've always been a major homebody & dislike what most others consider fun.


Intelligence I'm very stupid in lots of ways compared to my peers. I struggled majorly in lots of school subjects due to Dyslexia, ADD, & other related learning problems. I also do not have any special skills, strengths, nor talents. However I have more common sense than lots of others. I've had the misfortune of interacting with various so-called professionals in various industries who had very little common sense to actually perform their specialized fields well. I could figure out the problem & what I want & tell them what it was only to be dismissed. If I had the resources & technology access they had, I would solve the problems & issues myself instead of being forced to deal with them. Some people think I'm wise but I wish I was a lot wiser cuz things woulda went a lot better for me in life. I tend to be kind of level-headed & logical about making decisions & can be a good strategist sometimes due to my OCD. However I can get caught up focusing on the details & I can also reach my breaking point with stress & go into meltdown or shutdown mode & then I majorly screw things up. I'm very attracted to women lots of others consider stupid like the dumb blond stereotype that gets confused easily. I find them very funny & CUTE if they don't have an obsession with fashion, gossip, reality TV, & being slu*ty to get ahead.


Sense of Humor I have a very offensive & raunchy sense of humor, think Family Guy. However I like other various types of humor as well. I like to make my romantic partners & friends laugh but part of being a good comedian is knowing your audience & I do not want to offend or embarrass anyone thou I do slip up sometimes.


Social Intelligence I have Aspergers & was bullied a lot in elementary school. I'm also very used to others misunderstanding me & misreading me & tuning me out so my social intelligence is very bad compared to most of my NT peers.


Emotional Intelligence Probably a lot higher than my Social Intelligence & my Intelligence in general. I've slipped into a psychotic depression when I was 20 over my 1st relationship falling apart & me transitioning to adulthood & my crummy homelife situation. I posted about things aLOT on various forums like this one. I analyzed things a lot. I tried joining an offline support group. I briefly tried counseling & seen a psychiatrist at two different points in my life. I've researched psych meds a bit as well as trying lots of them. The psych meds I'm currently on were meds I wanted to try before they were 1st prescribed. I asked for them myself or guided my psych in the direction of prescribing it & those meds are helping a lot. I've gotten various & even gotten some contradictory diagnoses at the same time from the same person like Borderline Personality Disorder & Schizoid Personality Disorder. I highly doubt that any halfway decent psych would give me either of those diagnoses today.


Empathy It depends on which definition is being used. I tend to look at things logically & be analytical & try to solve others problems instead of giving a figurative pat on the back & telling them some meaningless cliche that comes off to me as patronizing. My approach tends to come off to others as me being mean, insensitive, uncaring, & such but I feel bad & want to help. I also appreciate others being that way with me. My current girlfriend has various physical & mental issues & I feel really bad when I know she's majorly struggling. I want to use my bad experiences to help others when I can & she gets that I've been through some $hit in life. She researched a bit of psychology stuff but has problems applying it to herself. She's so focused on trying to help her family that she majorly neglects herself & then reaches her breaking point. She has tried counseling at various points in her life but they did not understand her that well. She thinks I understand & relate to her better than anyone else has but I feel like I majorly s#ck sometimes. Thankfully she does not hate me cuz I fail, she loves me cuz I try. We have a very interdependent relationship, maybe even codependent but IDK.


Ambition I never been ambitious except maybe when I was dealing with the psychotic depression & had delusions of grandeur. Being born with various disabilities & majorly struggling with many things that come easily to most others kinda contributed to me developing Learned Helplessness.


Hard Working I'm very hard working in a workplace setting. When I was working my reviews said I was very eager to please management. I want to do right by my employers & teammates & I want them to respect & appreciate me. I knew I have more struggles & limitations than they did & I was trying to overcompensate for that & was a workaholic when I was employed. However I'm very lazy at home thou. Some of that is because I don't see the immediate need & it can require a lot of time & effort that I just don't feel the necessity for ATM. Plus there's lots more distractions at home. I should start looking for a part time job so we wouldn't have to stress about money as much.


Easy Going It varies. I was often accused of being very demanding by my mom but she did NOT really understand all my various issues & needs. I've gotten alot more easy going after I moved in with my current girlfriend. Cass has mood swings & can change plans a lot which is NOT good for my anxiety & OCD. Thankfully I'm on a good psych med combo for anxiety, OCD, & irritability. Cass also understands & accepts me better than anyone else ever has & she's not critical of me like my mom was. I tend to be a passive person & go my own way in life but I also want to be treated fairly. I do not like being majorly screwed over, mistreated, regularly criticized & held to standards I could never measure up to. I lash out when I'm backed into a corner too much.


Creativity I'm not creative at all.


Self-Confidence Some think I have low self-esteem but I tend to have low esteem for others. I know I have LOTS more limitations & issues than most others & that lots of others will misjudge me & write me off but that does NOT mean that I hate myself or anything like that. I try not to compare myself to others & try to judge myself by my own standards. I accept myself the way I am but I also want to improve as well but I try to be realistic about what progress I can make & where I might fit in & be accepted & where I won't.


Narcissism My mom would of described me as a narcissist 10 years ago because of me being demanding due to having special needs. Her guilt trips did not work on me. Her trying to make me feel bad about being dependent was NOT gonna make me suddenly get a job & move out when I was already putting in job apps & not hearing back & my income when I was working was too low for me to afford my own place without access to supports & resources that I did not have. People on other forums woulda described me as a narcissist due to me posting about my issues & problems a lot. My posting was me trying to sort things out, get things out of my system, find others I could relate to, get other perspectives, & hopefully get some ideas I have not thought of or help me figure out how to apply things. I also posted about my issues & problems in other's threads to try & relate to them & use my experiences as a way of helping.


Depression As I mentioned, I've been through a bad depression before but I'm aLOT happier having a girlfriend I'm living with than I was when I was single.




As to how these things affected my dating experiences. The depression & mental health aspects of these things caused me to majorly screw up my 1st two relationships. It cased me to be very unstable & believe things were going on that were not & I took things out on them. I tried to learn from things & I'm not that person anymore, at least NOT who I want to be. I think what limited me the most with getting a relationship thou was my employment situation or rather lack of. My Aspergers causes problems with social intelligence & me making bad impressions & me being disabled & not gainfully employed makes me come off as a loser.

Face: 7
Body: 3
Hairstyle: -1 (bald)
Fashion Style: 4 (I gave up, I wear "dad" clothes)
Athleticism: 4 (I get things done)

Personality: 5 (I'm quite unremarkable)
Intelligence: 7? (Modesty is a virtue)
Sense of Humor: 7
Social Intelligence: 0?
Emotional Intelligence: 0?
Empathy: 7
Ambition: 5 (I'm giving up)
Hard Working: 7
Easy Going: 2
Creativity: 7
Self-Confidence: 5

Narcissism: 2?
Depression: Never understood it.

Face: 7-8/10
Body: 5/10
Hairstyle: 5-8/10 (depending on the day)
Fashion Style: 7/10
Athleticism: 4/10

Of course, this is all relative. The average american might think my body is a 7, while the average athlete might think my body is a 3.

A lot of these are hard to rate objectively. They can depend on who I'm with, how long we've known each other how compatible we are. For example, I'm shy when I first meet people, but I open up and become more confident..

Face: 6

Body: 5 (more or less)

Hair: 3 (will be getting a haircut soon)

Fashion Style: 6

Athleticism: 3
(I usually engage in anything related to track & field, but enjoy volleyball & badminton)

Personality: 6

Intelligence: 8 (The agency helping me find my first apartment says this a lot.)

Sense of Humor: 8

Social Intelligence: 4?

Emotional Intelligence: 5?

Empathy: It would depend on the context of a situation where people could express empathy for others, but given the ongoing turmoil of what is currently going on in the world as of now, perhaps a 4?

Ambition: 6 (I have an interest in the field of journalism and sometimes wrote letters to a media outlet.)

Hard Working: In my place of employment, I keep to stocking shelves and helping customers whenever they are looking for items. Co-workers and my boss keep a close watch on me to make sure nothing goes wrong. My boss several days ago wanted me to take on a cashier position because a pair of cashiers got hired by a nearby store. Also, my math skills are awful, therefore no need for me to be a cashier.

Easy Going: It varies on a daily basis. Currently, I am not engaging in any social activities in part because I am not currently enrolled at my college, but will be returning in the latter part of September. Thankfully, I'm on three anti-epileptic prescriptions that control seizures one of which also helps control anxiety as does a Vitamin B12 supplement. My current girlfriend (who is NT) also has seizures and understands me better. On one date, she pretended to have a seizure just to get a good laugh out of me and she did.

Creativity: 8

Self-Confidence: 6?

Narcissism: 3
(Whenever my bigoted uncles visit, they encourage me to be a narcissist because they believe that narcissism is a "manly virtue" when clearly it is not.)

Depression: 2

I’m a 10 in every category except for:

Narcissism: 1
Depression: 1

I really don't know with the appearance ones.
I'm only guessing.

Face: 7
Body: 8
Hairstyle: 10 I like my hair
Fashion Style: Most days (at home): 0. When I go out: 9
Athleticism: Currently 2. Used to be around 7 when I was into cycling.

Personality: On the inside and online: 9. On the outside: 2. In relationships: 7
Intelligence: 7
Sense of Humor: 9
Social Intelligence: 0
Emotional Intelligence: 1 or 2 for myself, maybe 8 for others
Empathy: 10 for feeling it. Expressing empathy: 1 or 2
Ambition: 1
Hard Working: Currently about 9.999 because of responsibilities (not a job)
Easy Going: 10 unless I'm triggered
Creativity: 5
Self-Confidence: 1

Narcissism: 1 on the online tests
Depression: 10 (not in a sad way, just in a flatline way)

Face: 5 (I always thought i had a fat face)
Body: 2 or 10, depending on who you ask
Hairstyle: 3 (my hair is so fine it doesn't do much)
Fashion Style: 10 (used to be a 1, but I'm very into fashion lately)
Athleticism: 5 (i look more athletic than i really am)

Personality: 1 or 9..... depending who you ask. Some people think I'm weird.
Intelligence: 10 (I'm a huge nerd)
Sense of Humor: 10/10 if you're a little twisted
Social Intelligence: 2
Emotional Intelligence: 9
Empathy: 10
Ambition: 8
Hard Working: 9
Easy Going: 9
Creativity: 10
Self-Confidence: 7ish (used to be very low when I was young)

Narcissism: clinical NPD is 0
Depression: 7 (it is getting better)

If you look like John Banner, give me a call.

Face: 4
Body: 3
Hairstyle: 7
Fashion Style: 4
Athleticism: 2

Personality: 8
Intelligence: 9
Sense of Humor: 9
Social Intelligence: 4
Emotional Intelligence: 7
Empathy: 5
Ambition: 5
Hard Working: 7
Easy Going: 4
Creativity: 7
Self-Confidence: 3

Narcissism: 4
Depression: 9

It depends on my mood and the day

But today:

Face: 6
Body: 4
Hairstyle: 5
Fashion Style: 5
Athleticism: 4

Personality: 5
Intelligence: 7
Sense of Humor: 6
Social Intelligence: 4
Emotional Intelligence: 3
Empathy: 4
Ambition: 4
Hard Working: 4
Easygoing: 8
Creativity: 7
Self-Confidence: 5

Narcissism: 2
Depression: 6

In other words, I'm not all that far away from "okay." And maybe a little below "okay" sometimes.
I might not have the "advantages" that other men have----but, if one tries harder than the man with "advantages," then one might gain the "advantage," ultimately.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 29 Aug 2022, 11:18 am, edited 3 times in total.

The thing is: I have SO many qualities that would supposedly "disqualify" me from having romantic relationships; but, somehow, I did.

This is why I really don't believe that virtually ANYBODY would be "disqualified" from finding love.

I tend to avoid using math in things because numbers are too black and white, so I'll answer in words instead.

Face: I don't like my face but men seem to for some reason.
Body: I'm about 2 stone overweight because I drink a lot of sugary soda drinks. I am supposed to be a slim person.
Hairstyle: Due to ADHD I find it difficult to remember to add grooming to my routine, although I do make sure it looks presentable and not unkempt.
Fashion Style: I am trendy but I still go for comfort. I don't wear anything with buttons or collars, as it's just not my style.
Athleticism: I'm not very sporty.

Personality: I have a good personality I think. I'm easy to talk to.
Intelligence: I'm not that intelligent but I am creative and I am good at art and writing.
Sense of Humor: I have a huge sense of humour.
Social Intelligence: I actually have good social intelligence. My ADHD makes me very impulsive though, which can look like I'm oblivious to non-verbal signs, but I'm not.
Emotional Intelligence: Emotional intelligence is good I think. Although I get overanxious about everything.
Empathy: I have normal to above average empathy. If I am lacking in empathy it doesn't mean I'm oblivious or unaware. There's a difference between can't and won't, and my problem is won't.
Ambition: I want to be a writer and get my books published but nobody can or wants to help me.
Hard Working: I'm more of a part-time worker because I find the drudgery of routine of work and bed too monotonous (from an ADHD point of view).
Easy Going: I can be with other people, but in my head I am very hard on myself.
Creativity: I think I mentioned that earlier.
Self-Confidence: I don't have much, but I often get compliments from guys, so I am thankful and I enjoy a compliment.

Narcissism: I'm not narcissist in real life but I think I am on WP?
Depression: My emotions do get the better of me, although I don't take it out on others.

Face: 10 not being bigheaded though im just saying it how it is
Body: 8 i keep myself in shape but my tummy is big because of my ibs problems
Hairstyle: 10 always kept at its best
Fashion Style: 9 i am into fashion so i am always wearing fashionable clothes
Athleticism: 2 not into sport

Personality: 4 not got much of a personality but i like it
Intelligence: 3 only good at driving buses and remembering routes and directions quicker than most people
Sense of Humor: 1 not much sense of humour and i hardly ever laugh even though im not depressed or anything
Social Intelligence: 1 do me a favour
Emotional Intelligence: 2
Empathy: 1 im not speaking for all autistics here as i am aware that autism doesnt mean lack empathy but i literally i lack empathy
Ambition: 9 i like to drive buses but sometimes need plenty of sleep time
Hard Working: 10
Easy Going: 1 around people i am not easygoing
Creativity: 1
Self-Confidence: 9 i do have a lot

Narcissism: dont know probably
Depression: 1 no