Can anti-age gap people afford to be so picky in dating?

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I do know what it is, I don't need it explained to me.

I just don't get it in the same way some people don't get large age gap relationships, but they obviously know what large age gap relationships are.

Note to self: Don't Mention Non-Binary Ever (and then you say that the words "forced to tolerate" is wrong? The reason I used those words was because of people reacting like this).

I'm 42 (will be 43 in December), yet most people with the same interests are in their 20s and 30s.

I am probably considered a "dirty old man" by them. I would really like, however, people who have the same interests who are close to my age.

There's nothing wrong, in most people's eyes, with somebody in their 40s going out with somebody in their 30s.

If there is "something wrong," then it doesn't make sense to me.

Am considering myself most tolerable.. theses days ….!

I’m against large age gap relationships because their existence generally makes dating harder for men in their 20s if a significant chunk of the women in that same age group are dating men old enough to be their fathers.

I think the people going after 18-22 years olds when they're 30+ themselves is gross. I remember them coming up to me when I was that age and it was extremely annoying and uncomfortable. I'm nearly 30 now and the younger people at work are like kids. Even with me feeling immature with autism, I can still see that difference.

After around 24 or so it doesn't matter as much. You have more life experience at that point with a better idea of what you're getting into. Like if a 27 year old wants to date a 68 year old then whatever. Wouldn't do it myself but that's their business.

I think people can be as picky as they want in dating. If it's important to you, then you won't be happy 'settling' and neither will the person being 'settled' for.

My other reasons for not like big age gaps myself are that I wouldn't have as much in common, younger or older.

Older people will probably need me to start caring for them, plus they'll most likely die years before so me so I'm on my own again.

All the successful relationships I see are between people close in age.

I know of 2 age gap relationships IRL, first is between a couple who met later in life and are happy

The other between my 24 year old cousin and her 40 something boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he was grooming her while she was 18 when she worked at a bar and he has totally ruined her life. He got her involved with drugs, she has no real job or any education past secondary school and her relationship with the family is now strained.

Yup big age discrepancies can bring big problems .. but as people age and get more experienced , And are respectful of each other can imagine there might be more latitude between partners ?? Maybe ever a longer time relationship
If both parties are mature enough.. Overall all people age ? I think , it is more about being able to bond or even get along ? Goes beyond appearances .. it might just be personalities issues .

It’s obvious that Ironpony didn’t “groom” his girlfriend. How could he? She is in a higher position within their company.

In today's popular media, age gaps seem much more accepted for same-sex couples. I can give 2 examples. The first is a show a couple of years ago called "The OA". In one episode, a group of people in their late teens travel to an unfamiliar city and the one gay member of the group hooks up with a local guy twice his age, and this seemed to be presented as a "personal growth" experience for the young guy. Another example, the Mexican show "Control Z" has a girl in high school in a relationship with a Spanish woman who has some sort of white collar job in Mexico City. In this case, there is some downside shown to this relationship, however at the end the Spanish woman gets disapproval from the writers for leaving her young lover in the lurch when a career opportunity unexpectedly takes her back to Spain, rather than for being in such a relationship to begin with. I would argue that in both scenarios I described, had the characters consisted of a teenage girl and an older man, it would have been presented as creepy and the man would have faced some sort of poetic justice for being in that relationship, or else the girl would have wound up permanently traumatized once the man's true motives become apparent.

For some reason older women dating a young adult male seem to get criticised more so than an older man dating a young adult female, even though you'd think it would be the other way around, being so men have more of a reputation of being "creepy" or "pervy" (NOT generalising here, as my boyfriend is an older man but isn't at all creepy or pervy, I'm just saying this from a societal point of view).

I once heard of a 40-year-old woman who dated a 19-year-old boy. They were both consenting adults, the woman was really nice and the boy was wise and mature for his age and he loved her just as much as she loved him. But it got severely frowned upon by all their friends and even family members, and the police got involved. The police actually investigated into it as well, even though the boy was over 18 and they had only just met.
However, when my cousin was 19 she was with a 50-year-old man who had a criminal record of wife beating and grooming underage girls, so he was a nasty dangerous man but when we went to the police about it (as she didn't really love him, she was naive and was easily led by him and was just emotionally manipulated) the police just said that they can't do anything because she's over 18, and they just left it at that without even investigating.

So that has always been a mystery to me.

It must just be a sexist thing, that if a woman is 20+ years older than a boy then it's wrong but if a man is 20+ years older than a girl then it's fine.