Relationship Readiness

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Not a very good test, more to get you thinking about relationship readiness.

http://www.relationshipplanning.com/readiness.htm

I score in the 80s.

Last edited by MrMark on 07 Aug 2007, 5:41 am, edited 1 time in total.

This is what I've concluded is that I’m not really ready for a relationship. I don't mean that in the NT sense like if somebody is just not focused on that at that time. I wonder it I ever fully be. I can't really get used to it without trying, but how much is a partner willing to put up with? How unconventional can it be for it to still work?

I realise I sustained my only true friends for a year and a half because I don't see them every single day, but every couple of weeks. I do have the 'surface NT', which is just a superficial mimicry. But it is not sustainable; it is not the real thing. I'm just not sure how long they are going to put up with me. I try to reciprocate; I just can't really do it as often.

I think this emotional blunting I've got is not really helping. I can't hold my emotions. So while I might think I fancy someone, I don't really know and I don't have full emotions that I think you need. I have enough trouble understand how you do it. How you connect in the first place and then reciprocate properly? It is something that I really want.

I'm pretty low I doubt if I'll have anything above 4, but that fact I can't really answer is probably the most telling.

I agree but I do not care either so I'm not sad. Prozac has pushed me to-wards schizoid personality traits. Seems the least pro-social of the 3 SSRI's I've used.

Pro-social: zoloft > paxil > prozac

I think the stage I'm as is as if, I was still a teenager in school. Not how I was back then of course. But I might be able to have a 'relationship' where you see the girl in that setting. I think. Obviously I don't want to date teenagers, I want someone my age, just it is the closest to being possible. Not really an adult relationship, with those commitments.

I think I should get in touch with my old shrink, she could help me with this. She was the first to notice I was aspie. It is weird I don't consider myself immature at all. This is what they call emotionally immature isn't it?

I rate myself a 100. The main issue for me is finding someone I would actually be interested in.

Tim

Actually I thought zoloft (sertraline hydrochloride) was pretty rubbish, if anything was different I made more of a fool of myself.

Somebody told me once, "When you're ready for a relationship, you'll lower your standards."

Precisely the same result I had. Thats the thing pro-social merely means you are more willing to be social. It might reduce social anxiety levels but no pill can give you social skills or make your quirkiness seem normal to NTs.

I got a 60, which is higher than I guessed. I suspect the test is flawed.

88! Take that!

This actually puts things in perspective for me. I've been worried about one particular area and hadn't realized how far I've really come in a lot of other ways.

75

The only one I don't really have is

And perhaps effective dating skills... but I believe I can manage with someone who is as inexperienced as I am. If they have expectations... it could spell trouble.

I did lower them slightly, and I went on a few dates (including a few with someone I met here on WP--but she and I decided to just be friends), so that's a good start.

Tim

Pride much?

Yep, the test is definitely flawed. Kidding.

I scored lowest on having a clear vision of how my life will be in the future.

I actually was hoping for a lowest-range score, which recommended my actual present intent (i.e. "a relationship is not for you", or whatever it said).

Last edited by Ragtime on 07 Aug 2007, 2:11 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Rigidity of standards is fine, as long as her having rigid standards about you doesn't offend you. That's something I've had to work on -- well, let's be honest, most people have to work on that -- setting higher standards for our mates than we set for ourselves, even when we don't realize it.

Last edited by Ragtime on 07 Aug 2007, 2:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

36!


I don't agree with the test at all though.

Going into something with a list of non-negotiables?
I mean, if I made those, I wouldn't be able to
find a human who could meet them. Not without
being with me first.